I'm pretty sure my father would have liked to choke me out for coming home early from my mission. But I was bigger and probably would have kicked his ass. So instead, he screamed at me at the top of his lungs and eventually told me that he felt the family would be "better off" if I were to leave.
Hopefully this kid has a place to go because it doesn't sound like dad wants him around much longer.
kathleen Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Many domestic violence victims nowadays are being > counseled that if someone will cut off your air, > they are the ones who WILL kill you. > > ... if you hang around long enough.
Not just nowadays, it goes back at least a ways.
This (attempted strangulation) happened to me when I was in my early twenties, and this is what the police officers who arrived (the next door neighbor made the call) told me:
If someone cuts off your ability to breathe (or attempts to do this), consider that you are, at minimum, in the first stage of being murdered.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2020 08:33PM by Tevai.
This is the direct result of a culture that both prioritizes the dominion of fathers over their families and ties salvation to obedience.
My own father got in a heated argument with me when I was unsure of whether I should go on a mission. The afternoon I was to be set apart by the stake president, three days before flying to Provo, I told him I didn't want to go and he started arguing with me. At first it was the typical Mormon conniving--"You believe in the prophet, and he's the one who called you. You can't deny that without denying God!"--then it escalated into shouting and yelling.
Sitting on my bed, listening to this torrent of noise, I quietly said, "He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me...."
At that my father exploded, "Well, you can just go to hell then!" and stormed out of the house.
I acquiesced, met with the stake president, and entered the MTC just to get away from him. I only lasted seven weeks.
As I approached my 19th birthday dad asked me if I wanted to go on a mission. I said no. The question never came up again. It's all about respect and real parental love. Both of which the asshole father here is sadly lacking.
My mom was abusive to my siblings. She slapped and pulled them by the hair to get into the car on Sundays.
After a youth activity, the mia maids advisor pulled over when her teenage daughter was acting surly. She dragged her out of the car and smacked her face. The teen started bleeding from her mouth (braces). And that was that
I have a cousin in SLC who's father got violent when they resisted going to church. Fucking pissed me off when I heard that as I know his own dad was not like that. His mom was a bitch but not overly righteous either.
"You're losing sleep over a kid who refused to comply with his dad's authority, and prob'ly has a lengthy record of being imperfect? A kid who was harassing his family by leaving the toilet seat up, resisted doing his homework, brandished an attitude, resisted his father's legitimate use of lethal force and then reached into his mind to try to figure out, 'what the hell!'? All while putting the lives of his very own future children at risk? Are you seriously losing sleep over this?
"Or perhaps you choose to believe that religious nuts are just running around choking random innocent 18-year-olds willy-nilly in their house?"
Perhaps 10 years after i was back, I had a family in my home teaching route that had a son approaching 19. Seemed normal, not really even that active.
I remember one visit where the parents were discussing how the son wanted to serve a mission. He was taking extra jobs to beef up the finances. I related to them that I understood and wished them the best.
A short time later however the parents came home one night to find their son in his room with a mattress soaked with blood and a revolver in his hand.
The family was immediately pulled off my list and I was told to not contact them for a 'while'. I had only heard about the incident second hand.
One of my other callings a year or so after that, was to track down 'lost' members (ward clerk). I remember seeing the family's name in the 'cannot locate' list and called the number.
The mother answered the phone, and when hearing who I was, starting sobbing, and then in resolved anger said " you people are to never call here again!", and hung up.
I remember having the strong impression from that response that they had had no church fellowship/consolation from that event to the time I called.
Gordon B. Stinky Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Classy dad. I’m sure that Jesus Christ of Latter > Day Saints is impressed.
Most certainly; especially during the heavy handed correlation years (1980s). It was a race to see which priesthood holder could outdo virtue-signalling the other. Maybe it was a lot of talk in the wind, but the ideas of cutting the power cords on TV so no watching on Sundays and locking the refrigerator doors on F/T Sindays seemed down right frightful. They were true signs of terror and they were most definitely condoned through church leaders as proper ways for a ph holder to put his house in order.
Now one family did resort to drastic measures. There were 3 daughters who each became pregnant over the course of a six year span. This was NOT well received at the stake level (he was a high councilor and eventually became "demoted" to the less pompous stake farm coordinator.
So this high councilor had installed jail bars to two sets of windows that were hidden from the main road. Forgive me that I grew up very sheltered, but as a Webelo aged kid I had no knowledge of burglar bars. They looked menacing to me (still do today). So as I was playing tossing the ball with my church friend, I finally realized that one window had been smashed out and the bars bent outward.
I asked him if somebody had broken into his home. His reply stunned me. No my sister refused to stay in her room and broke out. I can only imagine what other horrors had occurred in that "fine upstanding mormon household."
That father committed attemped murder. His entire family should be very afraid.
My temple ex-husband strangled me--twice--each time causing me to loose consciousness, which I thought was my death. I never have gotten over it. A recent flashback, the day of the March earthquake here in SLC, also triggered by the new Covid scare, made me schedule an online visit with a new psychiatrist. I told him I had been married for 14 months to an abusive creep who beat me, for no reason, almost every day, etc. The doctor told me that it wasn't "abuse", nor "beatings", but it was "attempted murder!" It really helped me to realize that someone else understood the seriousness of my situation. (After 14 months, I escaped with my life, and the creep continued to assault many other people, hiding behind the forgiveness of the cult and his GA family.
My HT neighbor forever disowned his son for not going on a mission. He screamed at his son in the hallway of our ward house, for everyone to hear. Neighbor's wife went along with it. The son left the cult, went to California, put himself through school with a basketball scholarship. He invited his parents to his basketball games, his graduation, his wedding, but got no response from them. They refuse any identified phone calls, return any letters, including birth announcements. They never even saw their daughter-in-law or their grandchildren.
Out of sight, out of mind. The son and his family were dead to them--not in their world at all. The parents are deceased, now.