I was raised in a TBM family from birth. My parents are extremely conservative. Swearing was not allowed, to the point that I couldn't say "hell" even when reading the scriptures out-loud without turning bright red and feeling guilty.

To this day, even having not attended church for years, and admitting to myself that I can no longer believe the rubbish that was spoon fed to me, I find that I can't really swear. I know all the words and their proper usage, they just don't come to me naturally, even in socially appropriate times, when not swearing makes me "odd".

I guess I'm not looking to try and speak like a drunken sailor, but the excuse that "swearing is the sign of a limited vocabulary" just doesn't seem to work for me anymore... I mean how can being able to get your point across with one or two extreme declaratory words rather than a drawn out description of whats in your head not be a good thing? Shouldn't being able to express yourself succinctly be a good thing...

For example, if you hit your thumb with a hammer, the difference between "Ouch" and "@#$%!" is the difference between your wife asking "Are you OK?" from the other room or her running to see if you need to go to the hospital, but seem to be limited to "Ouch", even if my thumb is pointing the wrong direction after said hammer hit...

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else experienced such vocabulary limitation and you felt this made you feel like an "outsider" at times.

What language you use says a lot about you. I try to be a little more classy in my speech. It doesn't bother mean when people swear at all, but I am just not that kind of girl. Although I do believe that some swear words have no true replacement, and there is a time and place to swear. Certain words get people's attention more than others as you have pointed out. I figure because I don't use them often, when I do it will mean more.

is socially stunting.

I used to flinch and judge when I heard swearing. Now it's just not that big of a deal.

Sometimes I think swearing brings people together. No . . . . REALLY. It's a way of letting off steam, and I know that between my husband and I, sometimes it brings on a wave of laughter. Maybe partly because it's a guilty pleasure.

There is something real and raw about swearing when it's done right. There are times when a "gosh-darn-it" just doesn't convey the depth of emotion needed for the situation.

A person needs to know when it's appropriate to swear and when it's not. I think swears are great when expressing pain and frustration. But I don't think abusive language should ever be used to attack/degrade another person . . . like "you M_______ F_________B_tch!"

Too funny!

I've easily gotten into the swing of things. I realize God honestly doesn't give a shit about the f-word.

Are you sure? haha

Yes, I said strait, since that seems to be the BoM spelling. Frack yes!

When one word can be used as a noun, pronoum, verb, adverb, predicate, past participle, adjective, etc., I deem it versatile and of great use.

Just sayin'...

Ron

And he was an artist with that one particular word. A regular Jackson Pollock (since he tended to spray it all around wherever he went).

I sort of didn't know how to swear when I first left mormonism (I used things like "heck" and "flip" and such). I generally don't swear much but you can bet that if I hit myself on a hammer I won't have any trouble at all dropping a "Fuck" or a "Shit". What you need to do to learn to curse properly is to hang out with people who do, and also to practice on your own. Just be an actor and imagine a curse situation occured then drop any curse you wish as convincingly as possible. Sooner than you think cursing will come so naturally that you'll have to restrain yourself around mormons.

You could also try some affirmation - Repeat after me: Oh my fucking god, I CAN swear! :-)

That way when I drop a bomb it means something. Other times, I'll use swearing when I'm trying to deconstruct an argument, and I want to make light of something overly formal. I also think that words have meaning - even swear words. Calling a woman you don't like a "bitch," for example, isn't very descriptive and it seems a bit misogynistic. I would agree with the Christians that someone who swears like that probably has a limited vocabulary and maybe even a low I.Q.

Swearing actually requires a little finesse. You need to be aware of your surroundings and audience, level of formality of the conversation, and the more creative your use of language the more effective you will be. Religious types probably ban swearing, because they don't do finesse and are oblivious to what is appropriate as evidenced by inappropriate preaching.

As the late George Carlin used to say, there is really no such thing as a "bad word". Words are not bad-- the intention behind them is what is bad. The word "fuck" is only considered bad because some people decided to make it offensive. Moreover, before it was a swear word, it had other meanings that had nothing to do with fornication.

I swear like a sailor. It's one of the many things my husband loves about me. That being said, I do think there is a time and a place for cursing.

I'm against burying language because I think it's ultimately a losing battle. Language is always evolving and what's okay to say today may become taboo by society's whims tomorrow. But the painful or offensive word behind the condition will still remain, no matter what word(s) one uses to describe it.

knotheadusc Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As the late George Carlin used to say, there is
> really no such thing as a "bad word". Words are
> not bad-- the intention behind them is what is
> bad. The word "fuck" is only considered bad
> because some people decided to make it offensive.


That's how I feel too. Saying fudge is just as bad as saying the real word, fuck. The intent is the same, and that's where everybody's mind goes when they hear fudge anyway. Unless I happen to be really really hungry, then I think of macadamia coconut vanilla fudge.

for bad people, etc. This from a long time believer that decided words can be used for what they mean~! :-)
I have tried swearing and using foul language and everyone just laughs! I get no respect!! :-0

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/02/2011 12:17PM by Susan I/S.

hahaha, love it WCG! Not in the subject line!

A whole bunch. It releases steam. There is, however, a time and a place for it. I don't swear in front of my bosses or charges, my TBM mom, or at inappropiate times.

Swearing can be a lot of fun and sometimes the best way to express your feelings. I know other words, but they don't roll off the tongue like mutha f### does. And if someone is being a real donkey, sometimes you have to add the crater in. Practice makes perfect. :)

A whole bunch- you are seriously funny!

lol...It's even more fun when you add a cuss word to an archaic one like, Fucking ninnyhammer! I love that one!

I swear. Learned it from my dad who was good at it, but I try to save it for appropriate times. I don't care for people who can't make it through a sentences without dropping an F bomb.

No Kidding , agree totally!

My parents, especially my mom, were the same way. In fact, my mother acted like saying the f word was on par with actually fucking (which of course to a TBM is the worst sin next to murder). I mean, to her it's the most abhorrent, disgusting, vile word in the English language. If an f-bomb is dropped in a movie she recoils and acts as if she has just been physically assaulted. And she succeeded in making me feel the same way about swearing, so much so that I still have a hard time really letting the curse words fly, especially in front of people. I have slowly, over time been able to work in some of the "softer" swear words, like damn, hell, ass and piss into my regular speech (of course using it when appropriate). But I still find myself purposely not swearing in front of my kids.

It's funny how something as simple as speaking a word becomes this traumatic thing in Mormonworld. I am getting better though, I say the f word under my breath sometimes and I have even said it a few times in conversation with people. But even then, I did feel twinges of guilt. In fact, the first couple times I used it when venting to a friend (who is a nevermo) about my ex husband, he said, "why do you apologize, no one cares if you swear, I barely even notice." But I was feeling all self conscious about it and he couldn't understand why it was such a big deal to me.

Mormonism gives us the weirdest hang ups.

Yes, it most certainly does...

I hate it when my friends (who don't swear all the time) feel like they have to censor themselves around us... We constantly tell them they don't have to, but they say they don't want to offend us... My reply is that I'm offended that they think I have such sensitive ears, just because I have trouble saying those words doesn't mean I expect them to censor themselves.

I know what you mean. I think people tend to censor themselves around me too. But at least now I don't flinch or look shocked or embarrassed when people do swear around me, which is something I think I used to do.

I guess the whole recovery process can be slow. I've been out for 2.5 years and a non-believer for closer to 5 and yet I still struggle with this kind of totally insignificant stuff...

She probably thinks that the words are equally egregious. I'm not sure she knows that word, to be honest. I'd be kinda surprised if she did know it. I just remember her making specific comments about how horrible the f word is. She told me she would have gone ballistic if she had ever heard any of us kids say it.

Now I am older than most of you, but back in the late 60's when I was in High School the word MY mom most freaked out about was "Bitchen"-- She was more offended by that than anything. And it meant "Awesome", no different. But that word would send her on the rampage, of course we NEVER said the F word, and I mean NEVER!

This entire thread makes me think of nothing but Ned Flanders, hahaha.

IMO I think in casual conversation with friends, swearing can be very humorous and stress-relieveing! If it's making people laugh and feel happy, I don't think it's a bad thing. :)

Speakin' from personal experience...
When your horse spooks, takes off, stumbles in a snakehole and breaks its leg, there are only a few vocabulary words that will do. And "oh flip" ain't one of 'em.

Fuck it all to heck and buggery bollocks, finallyfree, you can learn to swear.

There are people here who can offer you lessons.

We will not charge, it'd be a fucking honour, so it would! ;o))



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2011 10:02PM by matt.

I have been laughing out loud through all of these posts, but Matt, yours takes the cake. Lessons? How funny is that? I grew up saying damn , shit and hell, and OMGod. We just said it all the time, growing up on the beaches of So. Cal, a lot more laid back than the mo's here in Utah, but NEVER the F word, never. I just always tried not to swear around my mom.

Then I got married in the temple and had to clean all that up. Esp. the day my oldest little boy at the age of 2 looked out the window and said "Damn it, it's raining!" That was it- and I did clean it up, although on occasion something would slip out.

Then at age 51 I began my studies to try to gain a greater, stronger testimony and I quickly learned the mo church was not at all what it was professed to be. I was furious and horrified! I had given my whole life to this thing!

I remember being at my sister's 50th b-day party shortly thereafter, and swearing a blue steak like NEVER before to my 2 sister's about what I had learned. I was effing damn mad, and they were so shocked,because I had been the TBM one, and that night I just could not stop whispering swear words to them about what JS really did, and what kind of a man he really was, mostly f-bombs, it was pretty funny, they were just in shock, and laughing like crazy, cause they were totally inactive for reasons of their own. I was the one to finally tell them why it is NOT true, so they had no need to feel guilty that they did not attend.

But I try now to limit my swearage because I don't want to make a habit of it and slip around my kids or grandkids, and I do think it is important to be respectful of TBM's in our families.



Edited 5 time(s). Last edit at 07/01/2011 11:23PM by think4u.

I like creative fake swear words like shucky darns and dag blast it! But real swearing is good too. It can create a feeling of menace or despair, depending on how it's handled:

Hold up pistol sideways and yell: "All your money, bitch!"

Pray to sky: "Why God, did you put this shit on my shoulders?"

as I'm working (I work at home alone)--but I've never had a problem with cussing. I had a hard time NOT CUSSING. I grew up with a dad who is a farmer who cussed ALL the time. We each went through a cussing stage as toddlers.

I cussed for years when I did farm work--like hoeing beets. I cleaned up my language for quite a few years and then I had children. Been cussing ever since.

You'll build new neural pathways that will override the old ones.

hahahahahahha!!! That was good!

The beginning of this video is apropos. The rest if it gets political but, what the hey?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmsOIjzQ1V8

Here's a song that I doubt the MoTabs will be covering any time soon (although Frank Zappa did):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-n5vG2SjJY

Lucille Bogan recorded "Shave 'em Dry" in 1935 when the Mormons taught that she and her kind were cursed by God to be an "inferior race." Which brings up the question: Who was obscene in 1935, Lucille Bogan or the Mormons? [By the way "shave 'em dry" was slang for engaging in a certain activity with minimum of foreplay]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cr6xjWEYGSs&NR=1


And just to show how relative it all is, a year ago I was given pause when I heard one of George Carlin's "Seven words you can't say on Television" being used by the ultraconservative Dr. Laura on her radio show.

My how times change.

Love these videos... Thanks for the laugh.

I tell guys at work they could sure get things said faster if they didn't have to say fuck 5 times in each sentence. Sounds ridiculous when you're trying too hard.

On the other hand, I've been trying to get my wife to say fuck. She is always saying shit, which I don't understand, because I think feces is disgusting, and she does too.

The word fuck brings up much more pleasant imagery to me. I love a woman that will talk dirty.

Fuck the fucking fuckers. ;-)