https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/04/oliver-burkemans-last-column-the-eight-secrets-to-a-fairly-fulfilled-life

A summary:

-There will always be too much to do – and this realisation is liberating.

-When stumped by a life choice, choose “enlargement” over happiness.

-The capacity to tolerate minor discomfort is a superpower.

-The advice you don’t want to hear is usually the advice you need.

-The future will never provide the reassurance you seek from it.

-The solution to imposter syndrome is to see that you are one.

-Selflessness is overrated.

-Know when to move on.

I don't agree with a lot of that. Choose "enlargement" over happiness? WTH does that even mean? And I would hope that adults have the capacity to tolerate minor discomforts. That's a basic life skill, not a superpower.

I was talking with a school counselor about the value of persistence and perseverance in teaching. IMO those values outrank even a love of children and youth, with the strong desire to help them succeed, and a strong desire to instruct and further students' education. I've seen a number of burgeoning careers go down in flames because young teachers were not willing to endure and work through the inevitable hard times. I don't blame them for that, but at the same time I think that persistence and perseverance are underrated qualities when it comes to teaching. There were so very many days when I wanted to quit, and didn't. I imagine that there are a number of jobs that are the same way.

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I don't agree with a lot of that. Choose
> "enlargement" over happiness? WTH does that even
> mean? And I would hope that adults have the
> capacity to tolerate minor discomforts. That's a
> basic life skill, not a superpower.

In case you didn't actually read the article:

<< “Will this make me happy?”, but “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?” We’re terrible at predicting what will make us happy: the question swiftly gets bogged down in our narrow preferences for security and control. But the enlargement question elicits a deeper, intuitive response. You tend to just know whether, say, leaving or remaining in a relationship or a job, though it might bring short-term comfort, would mean cheating yourself of growth.>>

<<It’s shocking to realise how readily we set aside even our greatest ambitions in life, merely to avoid easily tolerable levels of unpleasantness. You already know it won’t kill you to endure the mild agitation of getting back to work on an important creative project; initiating a difficult conversation with a colleague; asking someone out; or checking your bank balance – but you can waste years in avoidance nonetheless...

<<It’s possible, instead, to make a game of gradually increasing your capacity for discomfort, like weight training at the gym. When you expect that an action will be accompanied by feelings of irritability, anxiety or boredom, it’s usually possible to let that feeling arise and fade, while doing the action anyway. The rewards come so quickly, in terms of what you’ll accomplish, that it soon becomes the more appealing way to live.>>

I flunked the part about knowing when to move on. I always seem to hang on too long, trying to get things to work out. The cliche throwing good money after bad applies, not literally, but for instance going to the temple when I already knew moism was whacked. Cut your losses is the better approach.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/11/2020 06:08PM by Nightingale.

Yeah, that's probably the best bit of advice -- advice I could have used myself, in my younger days. But then again, if I had known when to move on, I would have. Right?

Right. :)

Totally, lol

I thought about moving on from here a few years ago...

But, Mormonism-crazy!
Y'all crazy too, but in a good way-

I think those are really good. A keeper for me. Thanks!

Would I lie?

Trains

Well, there is a lot to be said for keeping on time and on track!