It is becoming painfully obvious that the policies and doctrines espoused by the LDS church are becoming less and less relevant to people's actual lives any more. Yes, Dallin and Jeffery and the rest, we all know that we need to repent and follow Jesus. I suggest you try it sometime. Meanwhile, COVID is still killing people, the fires in the West are affecting our food supply, and people are tired of racism and bigotry dressed up like piety. Oh, and God doesn't really need our money after all. So whatever can they say that will make the slightest difference in your and my lives? And no, these aren't really the Last Days. I can't wait to see how they respond.

What's missing in mormonoism is a binky...

The secret ingredient to a great meal is not a spice or some special farm to table veg. What makes something taste good is to be really really hungry. The most ordinary food becomes a banquet in the face of starvation.

Mormons are all starving. So all any G.A. has to do is open his mouth and the "Saints" will be not only sated but find the empty words delicious. Because, what they really want to get out of conference is an excuse to say as a brag, " Aren't we so blessed to have true prophets and apostles? Wasn't the spirit so strong? I have never felt my testimony and faith as intensely in every fiber of my being." Said with moist eyes.

Yes, Dorothy. It was strong. But that wasn't spirit.

If I ever felt something with “every fiber of my being,” I don’t think I’d discuss it here.

I get what you're driving at... Some shits are sacred!

No, no, not sacred, SECRET.

Wait, did I get that right?

In this case I think you mean secrete.

"Boy, have I got a secretion!"

Pretty impressive for a man your age, no?

I think they are happy they have an excuse (the pandemic) to explain overall disinterest in Mormonism. They can blame all the people leaving on the virus instead of admitting to themselves their belief-product is pablum most people don't actually need.

SHUN
SHUN
SHUN

<crickets>

or shit happens

I don't want to play in your yard
I don't like you anymore
You'll be sorry when you see me
sliding down my cellar door
You can't hollar down my rain barrel
You can't climb my cherry tree
I don't want to play in your yard
'Cause you wont be nice to me



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/29/2020 02:52PM by thedesertrat1.

Haven't heard that for 50 years! Thanks for posting. I love it.

+1

momjeans Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Haven't heard that for 50 years! Thanks for
> posting. I love it.
Hey Momjeans. I also have the music to it in my head

and takes to the pulpit slobbering hellfire and damnation all over the teleprompter with jowls a flapp'n!

. . . while holding Jesus's bible in his hand.

I betcha that one of the old guys will get up and tell us all that this pandemic was foretold but we just weren't in tune or didn't listen. Those who had food storage and all essentials were prepared and those who didn't were not faithful stewards.

Then we will get to hear that this pandemic is a test of our faith. Yeah, I will wager a large chicken, bacon, ranch, artichoke pizza on this, and I love these too much to risk losing one.

Then we will get to hear about the fires along the West Coast and how they are a test of our faith.

It seems like we get tested a lot.

From the Big 15 themselves

https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry/2020-09-29/covid-19-pandemic-lessons-learned-first-presidency-quorum-of-the-twelve-apostles-193556

[|] Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> From the Big 15 themselves
>
> https://www.thechurchnews.com/leaders-and-ministry
> /2020-09-29/covid-19-pandemic-lessons-learned-firs
> t-presidency-quorum-of-the-twelve-apostles-193556

If you remove the words: challenges, turmoil, difficult and trials, then there is no substance in the article.

A lot of hot air with no meaning.

>A lot of hot air with no meaning.

In other words, a typical general conference.

"Sound and fury signifying nothing."

--Bill

As more states relax COVID restrictions for social gatherings, they will be pounding the podium about religious persecution. The church will be playing the victim card.

Paddycake your pickle, doubt your donut, light my pen and inspire your tithing. Even Jesus Christ.

Also ponderize something.

Ponderizing their dough makes it grow.

Tithing gooood...spanking monkey VERY bad!

The natural man is a simian of enormity to God.

What there Won't Be!

there WON'T BE any fixing of responsibility for the Nightmare 2020 has been OR ANY substantial plan to avoid future tragic situations.

So many have enjoyed pretending to be religious at home rather than getting their butts into a pew. (Think of the ironing, having to dress up, shaving, applying make up, getting everyone up, cooking and worrying about lunch and dinner).

In my family, my TBM Mom was a holy terror Sunday morning. She would run around the house screaming and yelling. Nobody wanted to attend, but it was all about her making an appearance to impress the Stepfords. And then there was her burning rubber getting to church.

I think many members have enjoyed their Sunday mornings WITHOUT the obligation to attend.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/30/2020 07:07AM by messygoop.

Living prophets! Surely the Lord God will do nothing that we can't claim after the fact that we saw it coming.

Surely the Lord GOD will earn nothing, but he revealeth his secret financial plans unto his servants the prophets. Their billions will go unmentioned.

Whatever happened to the women's session of conference? Am I just mis-remembering that there was kind of a big deal made about it being an additional session of conference? Was that just a trial run or a pilot program or something?

It's my recollection that one Sat. night it would be a priesthood session and the Sat. night of the following conference it would be ladies night. Sort of like alternating who's on top?

gemini Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whatever happened to the women's session of conference? Am I just mis-remembering that there was kind of a big deal made about it being an additional session of conference? Was that just a trial run or a pilot program or something?
>

It was just a dream.

gemini Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Whatever happened to the women's session of
> conference? Am I just mis-remembering that there
> was kind of a big deal made about it being an
> additional session of conference? Was that just a
> trial run or a pilot program or something?

A women's session for all women and young women ages 11 and older will be Saturday evening at 6 p.m.

A reminder is being sent out that the brethren will have to buy their own donuts ahead of time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/02/2020 04:55PM by messygoop.

When the women were conferencing, no doughnuts were available to the Important People. (males)

Four legs good.
Two legs bad.

slskipper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> It is becoming painfully obvious that the policies
> and doctrines espoused by the LDS church are
> becoming less and less relevant to people's actual
> lives any more.

> Meanwhile, COVID is still killing people,

LDS Inc has a HUGE problem. The main feature of their Main Sunday worship -their (MIGHTY) group serving and partaking of the sacrament has become much more of a dreaded disease spreading DISGUSTING relic than being edifying, even with the brain dead MORmONS ......and there is NO real remedy to that situation, as attempted remedies more than anything else go on to spell out that the MORmON sackermint simply is NOT worth the inherent risk as well as not being worth the time and trouble involved.

......something so fitting to happen to such a deserving cult!!!! and a SCAM !!!! It's serious acceleration in the downward death spiral of MORmONISM. ........ENJOY!!!!!!

Nothing!

It's ALL talk.

Nothing these guys say would interest me more than anything I would say would interest them.

They're simply not interesting...

And I'm certainly not interested.

What’s not said is Far more telling!