Breeze not logged in
Date: November 26, 2020 06:06AM
I'll never forget my first post here on RFM, 11 years ago. I came here to find real answers to the Mormon rules and regulations about temple marriage. Why was my ex-temple husband allowed to remarry in the temple the day after our divorce was final, without even informing me, when I was never allowed a temple divorce or any remarriage to a good Mormon man? The bishop and stake president even forced me to track down my ex and have him fill out a form and write a letter of permission for me to remarry, and give his judgment of my worthiness to go to the temple, but I still wasn't granted a temple divorce. BTW, my ex beat me almost every day, injured me permanently, and strangled me until I lost consciousness. He also asaulted other people, including his second and third temple wives and their children. Why was my friend, who's father was a Mormon big-shot and good friend of GBH, allowed a temple divorce, merely because she and her husband "fell out of love?
I wanted to know WHY my temple ex-husband wife-batterer, who had several undisclosed arrests for assault and battery, was still "a member in good standing" while I was blamed and marginalized, and gossipped about. I wanted to know how to get a temple divorce, so he wouldn't stalk or threaten me and my family.
I still believed in Mormonism enough that I did not want to spend all of eternity as one of the wives of this monster.
It took courage to post that, especially thinking that my violent ex might figure it out, so I changed some of the details that had nothing to do with my questions, and retained my anonymity. I'm so glad RFM allows that. I was safe.
After laying low for a few days, I decided to check and see if maybe someone had answered my questions. I was shocked to see that the entire thread was full!
There were so many posters telling me that I wasn't alone! Some had had similar experiences, or had known someone. They didn't blame me! They didn't shame me!
The people who answered were so understanding, so sympathetic, that I burst out crying! I had never felt secure enough to tell anyone about the horrors of my marriage. Their advice made sense. Finally, my cognitive dissonance was going away, with each new Truth I learned.
I had vowed to never marry again. With RFM's help, I realized that the temple marriage thing was a hoax, and that the only way to end it was to resign from the cult. Yes, I had been the victim of a hoax cult! Yikes!
Resigning from the cult was the best way for me to overcome my PTSD from the beatings, and to escape from Mormonism, and recover from being lied to, and punished, and called names, by my cruel, authoritarian Mormon parents, who did not love me unconditionally. It ended there. I have always loved my OWN children unconditionally, and I rescued them from the cult, also.
How could I ever thank RFM enough for helping me save my children? They had been happy in every aspect of their lives--except for church. They actually had been physically abused by the Mormons! My sons had been hit, kicked, and thrown around by the priesthood leaders, and my daughter had been molested at a church campout, by the bishop's hideously ugly son. My children had been threatened, had been AFRAID to tell me about these incidents, until the day we left.
I realized, from the experiences of others on RFM, as wellas my own, that he Mormon cult is no place for a divorced single woman or her children. I was unattended by a husband or any grown male, and we were treated as easy prey. I, and many of my single Mormon friends--male and female--were conned and harrassed by Mormon men (and women)--more of them married than single--including a married bishop, a stake president's counsellor, our children's dentist, my own brother-in-law, some members of the ward and stake choirs, widows who were "funeral mongers" and golddiggers. I was not unique, because the same men hit on other women that I knew, and that were honest. These men, and others, creeped out my children. Really, there was a very creepy vibe in our ward, and we are very happy being out of that situation! I learned about the REAL Joseph Smith, and about the rampant Narcissism, that Adam and others write about. My kids and I made good life-long NON-Mormon friends, and they all married well, and live nearby.
RFM has been a teaching website for me and my children.
For Thanksgiving, we're some of the lucky ones. No one has died or is sick. The kids are all in school. We're going to walk or drive to each other's houses, only a few blocks away, and visit on our back patios, while my grandchildren play around, all wearing masks, or course, and distancing 6 feet apart. We're not bothering with communal food or drink at all, except each little family in their own house will cook their own turkey dinner, their way.