...The other day I was there to pick up the urn containing my husband's ashes. After I put the urn in the trunk of my car and thanked the chirpy mortuary employee for her help, I turned around to find 3 missionaries lined up, staring at me. Hmmm. [The ward chapel is only a block away, so maybe they were just in the neighborhood anyway, but I start to wonder if someone at the mortuary signals the missionaries when a vulnerable person is in the parking lot. Paranoia.] So I ask them if I can help them. One says they're missionaries and they just want to talk about Jesus. I tell them that the only thing I want to do right now is take my husband home (patting the trunk lid) and have some peace and quiet. They move on, and I go home to my peace and quiet. Thank you to everyone on this board who has talked about missionaries preying on bereaved people. I won't be taken in.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I hope things are going as well as possible under the circumstances.

I guess that I have been fortunate.
My wife died three years ago and I was never confronted with this type of issue

I'm sorry for your loss. You should not have to be dealing with Mormon missionaries at such a time.

They prey on vulnerable people.

I am sorry for the loss.

Take care,

And sorry these mormon guys made it worse.

I am sorry that happened to you. It reminded me of what happened on my mission. We were tracting and came upon a house w/several cars in the front. We knocked and a woman w/tears came to the door and told us her brother had died and they just got back from the funeral. We apologized and understood because I had lost several mbrs of my family including my dad. My companion had lost her brother just before her mission. She hugged us and we set up a time to come back in 2 weeks. Well we turned in our activity for the week and got a call from the MP asking why we were not going back sooner than 2 weeks. We explained the situation. He was furious, that we were passing up on opportunity, now get this, a potential baptism. She was not even considered a human being. After the call, we looked at each other and at the same time we said "what an a**." We went back in 2 weeks and I hope we helped her w/her grief. Never taught her a lesson.
I am sorry that happened. I guarantee they were not just in the area. For missionaries (at least in my experience) there is no difference between selling insurance and the church. It is a numbers game and that is it. So sad.

Speaks volumes.

The inhumanity of it; countered by your own humanity.


She is fortunate to have known Elder Allegro, as opposed to Elder Ace-of-the-Count.

LOL Sister Allegro

Those missionaries approaching you in the mortuary parking area is one of the most insensitive and opportunistic encounters I have heard of. They really crossed a boundary there.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/20/2020 07:55PM by cuzx.

The mortuary is for the dead. The church is for the brain dead. I understand the confusion.

Good one. Shouldn't be laughing this hard on such a sensitive thread---but I am.

I would have called the police.

I would definitely notify the mortuary. Their parking lot is private property, and I don't think they'd like their patrons being bothered.

What law did the missionaries break to justify police involvement?

Joe Friday Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What law did the missionaries break to justify
> police involvement?

You bring up the fair question and just about all forms of pamphleteering was allowed until covid19 hit.

https://www.law.cornell.edu/supremecourt/text/536/150
For over 50 years, this Court has invalidated on First Amendment grounds restrictions on door-to-door canvassing and pamphleteering by Jehovah's Witnesses.

The best thing might be to tell em you hate their ways and means and that the Internet is killing their productivity. In that regard alone then say that they have no business being there, Start photos with phone recording while saying clearly their presence is unwanted, unneeded and unwarranted.

Then clearly add maybe it is possibly also unsafe that they are there. (Covid19 and all of that if you're on immunity suppression medicines)

I wonder how many F-Off tunes they get daily for obvious boundaries breached.

What is the cops were Mormon thmeselves?It is not unusual for cops to be mormons in the mid western and western states.

You handled them beautifully with grace and class. Best to you.

Hopefully some day those kids will remember doing that and cringe.

On my mission we were told that reading the obituaries was a great way to find golden contacts as in their time of sorrow they would have been prepared by the holy spirit to receive our message which in those days was still nothing about Jesus and all about Joseph, and I don't mean Jesus' step dad.

We never even looked at the obits. Even as naive and dutiful as I was that was just too mercenary. So many MP's are so into the numbers to make themselves look good to their owners.

Missionaries have specifically told to look for people that are enduring changes such as the death of a loved one, moving to a new place, newly-wedded, recent unemployment, and chronic sickness, because they tend to be the most vulnerable. They are more open to suggestions and promises of a better future, church community and new purpose.

Its a a common tactic used by a lot of organizations. Its obviously not unique to the LDS church. And its not even unique to religious groups, a lot of self help groups will do the same.

These missionaries are just "following the spirit" and probably don't realize they are using cult recruitment tactics and are being highly manipulative.

The Mormon church is feelings based. They manipulate emotional reactions, turning a good feeling into "the spirit" testifying of truth, and sad feelings of loss and longing into a false sense of comfort imagining the continuation of life and reunification of loved-ones after death. It's rather wicked to prey on emotions, which is how LDS Inc. thrives. They manipulate feelings to sell the afterlife, which will cost you 10% of your income.

Thank you, everyone, for the condolences. There are good days and bad days, ups and downs, but I know I will be all right.

This encounter did not rise to the level of needing the police. Relying on "dignity and class" did the trick. In such predicaments I try to speak as a character in a Jane Austen novel might.

FYI. The urn is in the house in a perfect spot.

I am debating asking the TBM relatives if it's normal for aggressive missionaries to approach total strangers in such a way, violating private, personal moments to push their sales pitches. On one hand, I am curious to see how people would respond to the question, but on the other I don't want to alienate these people whom I love dearly.

I applaud your handling of the situation. I'm sorry you had that encounter though. Best to you.

Less said to family, the better obsidian53. It's often that you and I are often viewed as outsiders and the youth lead the adults from here on out in many cases.

I'm actually extremely gentle with Jehovah's Witnesses that are out and know me and just about three or four Christian Science recovering individuals besides all my LDS family. Treating em soft as possible because in their faces you can detect the stress.

These are some tough times even without all the additions.

Please let the mortuary know that the Mormon missionaries were proselytizing on their property. I'm sure that the mortuary would not want their patrons pestered in such a way.

You have my sincere condolences. Lost my wife 3 years ago but thankfully no mishies have preyed on me...yet.

You have my condolences. I lost my wife almost 3.5 years ago. Hard to believe it's been that long...
Her cremains are interred in the city where she grew up.


At one point, she was having surgery, and I noticed some mishies ambling around in the area where family and friends wait. I thought if they approached me I'd blow a gasket. Fortunately, they did not, and didn't seem to be randomly pestering people. Probably there for a ward member's surgery or something.


My TBM brother made a sickening syrupy post on FB the day after my wife passed. The reality? They had been shunning us for years because we shut down his wife's attempts to reel in our girls. And they treated my wife contemptuously, probably because they blamed her for not being able to reel me in.

In his preposterous post he claimed that they were going to miss her, but the reality was that they been transferred to a city less than 100 miles from us a year before she passed, and never even called, in spited of knowing she was terminal. Worse, we live in the DC suburbs, and they posted FB pictures multiple times of visiting the city, so literally drove within miles of our home.

In spite of this public proclamation of "grieving with us," they never even asked about her funeral arrangements. Not even to then make a polite excuse. They expressed no interest.

I'm getting deja vu. I know I've posted the above before, but the hypocrisy and posturing still makes me angry.


Last summer 3 mishies appeared at my door. They said that they had an appointment in the neighborhood and were going door to door since they were early. I invited them in. Gave them each a glass of water. We made small talk. I wasn't antagonistic but made it clear in my comments that I was very familiar with their church. I actually brought up my deceased wife multiple times, just to see if they would seize on it, and surprisingly they did not. I'm guessing that given my frank commentary they knew there was no point in proselytizing, and were just being polite until they could retreat. After a bit one announced that they needed to head to their appointment.

Always the best of taste and masters of timing.

Salvation to the dearly departed begins with the living. Like vampires preying on the frailty of being human.

I'm very sorry to hear of your loss, obsidian53. My condolences on his passing.

That sort of predatory behaviour is disgusting. You've now experienced it first-hand. They certainly have no boundaries.