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Posted by: luvlyldy ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:19PM

So about two and a half years ago I resigned from the lds church through quit Mormon. About a year ago I attended church again for a few months just to see old friends and such. I quit attending though because I didn’t enjoy all the talks and just wasn’t comfortable. Well one of my friends or family told ward missionaries I was someone to try and reconvert! They call and I ignore it they text and come to the door with cookies even and sometimes I accidentally answer and just say I’m busy or not feeling well. Even the bishop sends me texts sometimes asking how I am doing. How can I nicely get these people off my back? I’m really irritated and sick of them but I’m a nice lady so I don’t know what to do! Advice please lol

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:46PM

I'd try something like:

"I have a deep conviction that there is no connection between a living ghawd and the Mormon church." (Use "Mormon church" as many times as you can fit it in!)

"I will not be rejoining the church, but that doesn't mean I've abandoned the friendships I made there. Lots of churches have nice people attending and mormonism is no exception."

"But please, let's keep it civil. Don't call me or bother me with efforts to see how I'm doing or to put into action some plan to bring me back into membership. That ship has sailed; mormonism may fit your needs, but I find it offensive. So Fuuk off, hosers!"

You don't have to be 'mean' about it, but you do have to show you mean it.

It's all about the 'blah-blah-blah'...

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:50PM

For a more moderate and proper approach to the same problem, luvlyldy, just ignore EOD and go to my message. I don't even recommend using the word "Fuuk."

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:54PM

> ...proper...

You wouldn't know 'proper' if it bit you in the girdle!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 09:05PM

I know "proper." I'm a prim and proper lady with blue hair and pearls, much like Jordan.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 12:07PM

You're his Relief Society Present. We all need relief from being on edge about society and such.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:48PM

You can be firm without being rude. Blocking their texts, for instance, should suffice. They may not even know the messages are impeded.

Alternatively you could all the bishop and explain that you really don't want the attention and would appreciate it if he conveyed the message to the missionaries as well.

One thing about being Mormon: people tend to confuse moderate disagreement as condemnation. It would be healthy for you, and for them, if you simply said that while you may attend from time to time you do not want communications outside of church itself.

You have nothing to feel awkward about, nothing to apologize for.

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Posted by: bradley ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:50PM

Show up at the door naked and offer them coffee.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 08:53PM

bradley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Show up at the door naked and offer them coffee.

this one I like!!!!!!!!!!!

Barring this invite them in for a rum and coke



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/13/2021 09:06PM by thedesertrat1.

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Posted by: praydude ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 05:38PM

I know you are kidding BUT be careful with this one...unless you are open to having sex with them.

On my mission I knew 2 elders who had sex with a woman under similar circumstances. They were ex'ed and sent home right away.

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Posted by: Dallin Ox ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 09:29PM

If you don't want to drop the F-bomb, you can talk temple.

Re-enact the old penalties. Give them your new name and ask for theirs. Use the Temple Name Oracle

https://www.fullerconsideration.com/TempleNameOracle/

and say, "Did you know that today's temple new names are [whatever]? And tomorrow's will be [whatever +1]!" Do the Pay Lay Ale thing, loud laughter included.

Or just say "mormon" a lot. They'll be properly outraged, but that's the idea. "Mormon" everything. "Rusty Nelson is a mormon doofus!!"

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 10:11PM

Mormons already know you want to be left alone and they understand that you're adverse to telling them bluntly to leave you alone. If you want to be "nice," they'll keep at you. Unless you're willing to make them uncomfortable, they'll keep up the pressure.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: January 13, 2021 11:50PM

Short of inferring you hang out with the Hell Heals Angels - not to be confused with THE Hell's Angels - I'm not sure what to recommend, so to speak.

Learn the truth about mormonism. That'll show them. Real Mormons don't like the truth. It's like garlic to a vampire.

Of course, if they could easily see the truth they would know how you feel.

Once you ONLY accept the truth, you repel the BS.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 12:35AM

State very firmly -- "I'm not interested in the church. I don't want any more church visitors. Please leave me alone. Don't come again." Then stop answering the door. Just because someone knocks on your door, or calls you, does not mean that you need to respond.

Check this archived thread for SusieQ#1's door sign:

https://www.exmormon.org/mormon/mormon626.htm

RIP, SusieQ!

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 01:03AM

That was then, this is now, oh hobgoblin of persistence.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 01:04AM

Great minds think alike.

And so do ours.

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 11:45AM

Great minds think for themselves....alike thinking among great minds is coincedence.

Another way to put it....small minds think about people, average minds think about events, great minds think about ideas.

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Posted by: dot matrix printer ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 01:23AM

I suppose the obvious response is to not resign your membership if you plan to continue attending the lds church.

There's nothing wrong about choosing to keep mormon fiends/acquaintances but I certainly would do it on my own terms and not on their terms (like going to church).

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 01:30AM

This^^

Be true. Be real.

If being polite reflects who you are, give them "I-messages", and don't confront the Mormons at all. You can't make Mormons understand, so give up. Never debate with Mormons, because you can't reason with lies.

Rehearse a few simple one-sentence "I-messages", like a script. For example:

"I've learned too much about the Mormon church, and I can't unlearn what I know." I say this if Mormons start questioning me. It's the truth. I was sad to discover that I had been living in a hoax cult. I could never go back--ever.

"I prayed about it, and got the answer that the Mormon church isn't true." My ex-Mormon cousins say this a lot, and they still are on good terms with Mormons. Mormons don't argue with this logic, because it's their own testimony-story.

"I'm not a Mormon anymore." My favorite. I officially resigned, so I can say this. Always remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation! If you start explaining, you just give Mormons fuel to start trying to convince you that you're wrong.

"We're Lutherans now." My ex-Mormon sons say this, and the Mormons have backed off completely, yet they have tons of Mormon friends. They live the same "wholesome" lifstyle, and they go to Lutheran service at Christmas and Easter, ski and play most Sundays, and they don't force their kids into any religion.

Say whatever suits your stance with religion, and your lifestyle. Never explain. Never apologize for using your right to religious freedom. Mormons are in the wrong, to harrass you and put you down. When they knock on your door, uninvited, they are trespassing, and you have a right to handle this any way you want, including calling the police, if you have to.

--A formal "no soliciting" sign helps a lot.
--If you can see the missionaries at your door, don't answer.
--Having a big dog helps. (Though she is very sweet)
--Having a man in the house helps. When my little boys grew into big football players, the Mormons stopped harassing us.

Mormons will shun you, depending on what they feel like doing, in the moment. The Mormon ward members shunned me because I quit all my callings. They didn't care that I had a serious, long-term disease. At first, I cried when my ward and stake shunned me, but now I actually like being shunned. Who wants nasty people like that in your life? Concentrate on the GOOD ones--they outnumber the Mormons.

The harassment didn't stop until I formally resigned from the Mormon cult, by mail, following the instructions on this website.

Try to not let the Mormon rudeness rub off onto you. Don't swear at them. If you can't think of anything to say, just look at them as if they are crazy, and just walk away. My former (high society) MIL would say, in a neutral, dismissive tone, "Welll...." as she walked away.

They aren't worth the bother.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 02:38AM

Unfortunately being nice will rarely work.

You could download a few religious tracts and hand them to the missionaries. Tell them you resigned from mormonism abd are now X religion.

Use the word mormon whenever possible. It irritates them now.

Myself I was contacted about once every few years. I simply told them I joined the local polygamist sect. Scared them off.

Anytime I'm approached I simply say my wives and I are perfectly happy with our current church.

Once they think you're beyond saving they may back off.

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Posted by: anybody ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 02:38PM


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Posted by: 12345 ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 03:01PM

Your stated intention in reappearing at church even though you have resigned:
“I attended church again for a few months just to see old friends.”

But… How Mormons understand your reappearance at Church:
“Oh, look! The Spirit has been working on luvlyldy to bring her back to the One True Church. Isn’t that wonderful! LET’S BE SURE TO LOVE BOMB HER until she comes back for good!”

The notion that you might be attending church ONLY because you miss old friends, is incomprehensible to Mormons, is NOWHERE on their radar! They will persist in ‘fellowshipping’ you—pestering you--as long as you attend, no matter what you say. Actions speak louder than words; and to Mormons, the action of attending tells them that you have not yet given up on Mormonism. So naturally, they will pursue you accordingly!

If the people from church whom you miss truly are your friends, why not get together with them outside of church?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2021 03:02PM by 12345.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 03:53PM

12345

Spot on!

Mormons are incredibly superficial. By attending church after resignation is a virtue signal that an error was made!

If I keep inviting the missionaries to dinner to share a meal, they will think that I am trying to find my way back to the church [but I'm too stupid to remember why the church demands that I need to attend].

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 04:50PM

So true. But I deal with it since I know it is like being friends with someone from Amway. I'm going to get pitched so either I stop being their friend or deal with it.

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Posted by: praydude ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 05:41PM

I got the missionaries to leave me alone by saying:

"I don't believe in the church and to me it is a cult AND you are both being USED. That said, I'm here to help. I will take you to the airport and help with your ticket home if you need it." You guys shouldn't be wasting your time in service of a cult."

I don't think that is rude because I'm being honest and trying to help them.

The missionaries would even skip my house while track ting after that.

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Posted by: lapsed2 ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 05:51PM

Just tell them that you aren’t interested, but if you change your mind YOU will contact them.

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Posted by: subeamnotlogedin ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 05:56PM

Text the bishop that you want everyone to leave you alone. You know that this church is false and that you have resigned. From time to time you will visit the ward to see friends and family but nobody needs to try to reactivate you. This message will safe everyone time.

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Posted by: silvergenie ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 07:37PM

You have been given some excellent advice from several RFM board members. The following excerpts from their answers will give you a good idea of how the Mormon Church now sees you and how you can get them to leave you alone in future.

As Lot’s Wife advises –
“You can be firm without being rude…You have nothing to feel awkward about, nothing to apologize for.

Summer said –
“State very firmly -- I'm not interested in the church. I don't want any more church visitors. Please leave me alone. Don't come again…”

From Mother Who Knows –
“... Always remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation! If you start explaining, you just give Mormons fuel to start trying to convince you that you're wrong…Never explain. Never apologize for using your right to religious freedom. Mormons are in the wrong, to harrass you and put you down. When they knock on your door, uninvited, they are trespassing, and you have a right to handle this any way you want, including calling the police, if you have to.

12345 stated –
“The notion that you might be attending church ONLY because you miss old friends, is incomprehensible to Mormons … and to Mormons, the action of attending tells them that you have not yet given up on Mormonism. So naturally, they will pursue you accordingly! If the people from church whom you miss truly are your friends, why not get together with them outside of church?”

My advice –
Answer the door, greet them politely and say –
“Someone must have forgotten to advise you that I have officially resigned from the Mormon Church and I have no intention of ever returning. I really do NOT want any more church visitors or notifications and my decision is not open to discussion. I really do hope my wishes are respected in future as I truly don’t want to be forced into taking legal action, but I will if I have to.”

Keep this interaction with them short, do not invite them inside, do not allow them to pray with you and do not apologise or give them any explanations. This is not being rude; it is simply being assertive. If they continue to harass you in the future, then have a lawyer pen the Stake President a letter.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 14, 2021 07:55PM

> Keep this interaction with them short, do not
> invite them inside, do not allow them to pray with
> you and do not apologise or give them any
> explanations. This is not being rude; it is simply
> being assertive.

This is the key observation. The moment you excuse or explain, you are indicating that it is their business and that they are free to argue with you. Don't fall for that.

Simply state your conclusion firmly and with a smile and if there is an awkward silence, let it continue as long as necessary. They are the ones being impolite, not you.

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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: January 15, 2021 03:29PM

How about, "I went to your church a few times to see old friends. That was nice, but being in the meetings again just reminded me of all the reasons I'm no longer a member. Would you like me to share some of those reasons?"

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