New poster here. I left the church recently after being raised in a very TBM family. I did marry a non member which in itself was a huge red flag that I was unhappy with the church. My husband loves the state of Utah and wants to plan to retire there (flexible on location). I have a lot of anxiety thinking about living right in the middle of the LDS church. I am wondering if anyone has chosen as an ex Mormon to move back to Utah and how it felt?

Some places are much less infected than others. Salt Lake City and much of the county is more diverse than say Utah or Davis County. I live in a neighborhood of about 25 houses (give or take) and I can count on one hand the households that I am pretty sure are active members. The rest of us are just regular folks.

Yes, it is kind of annoying to hear so much about what the big dogs at the COB are up to as if it is breaking news on local TV but I am mostly able to tune that out.

I'm in utah and it's challenging. I recently had local leaders come to the door snooping. Lots of intrusive questions, I was polite and did my best to keep the conversation nice. But I'm not sure it's polite to delve into neighbors personal lives when I haven't seen these people in over a year? Welcome to Utah!

On the other hand I've visited much of Colorado's mountain cities and I get the opposite feeling there. Much more private, less established families, perhaps people care less about their neighbors. Lots of abandoned (vacation) homes. It doesn't seem neighborly when it's all so empty.

The Park City area is very undermormoned.

First off I have never lived in Utah, but I think there are good post Mormon support groups there.

I only know of one person who was not sorry to live there.

I know of six or eight who wished they'd done something else.

Its not day or night-

You would be living in the middle of them... OR they will be living in the middle - or the edges - of you?

You will find - and make - and participate in beauty, community, nature, art, COFFEE, just like anywhere else. Or else!

This is your life.

Your world.

Your experiences.

They are just out there.

Avoid Utah County and you will be alright.
Honestly it's not the Mormon's that bother me ...
it's the corrupt self righteous Mormons in government and crackpot extremists who are the issue. Beware of driving in Utah lately with plates from California. Trumpism is a nasty thing.

Where would YOU like to retire? Do you get a say in it?

Forget Utah. New Mexico is cheaper, just next door, also has mountains and snow, is prettier, and you can drive a few hours west to see red rock canyons whenever you want.

I happened upon this thread searching on why Utah isn't an easy place to make friends. Maybe I can offer some insight as a Utah transplant. In the interest of being honest I am a member (it wasn't forced on me I chose baptism a few years back- so, as an adult). That said, HA, I wouldn't recommend Utah if you ARE LDS. There seems to be more of a comraderie among people who left the church than among members here. That personally doesn't help me as most seem to really dig alcohol. I hate the vibe alcohol brings and have long before I was ever a saint. On the aggregate, people here seem to have a sense of decency but at least for my husband and me, people are friendly but don't seem to want to actually go deep and befriend us. The members here seem much more rigid than where I was baptized like they to be told what to do and they taken the teachings with a literalism I've not seen before. Ive decided to continue doing things my way. That said, even though I'm more of a fringe-y memember, some of the folks in my ward are very responsive to my talks others I can see tensing up..probably bc I don't stand there and parrot things like I'm trying to convince myself of something. I hope that doesn't sound rude, but it makes me uneasy. I have remained friends with the guy who baptized me, he lives up this way and is much more spiritual than rigid, but he also has the advantage of established friends from childhood. I think that's part of the deal in Utah..its insulated! Either you make friends as a child here or your kind of outside the circle. We've now lived in Salt Lake County and Utah County. I personally prefer Utah County..SL county was a dreary dump unless you're well off enough to live in Cottonwood. I did make a friend in my yoga program. She offered me the advice that here in Utah your best bet is making friends through doing activities you enjoy. She also said you basically have to throw yourself at people

"... your best bet is making friends through doing activities you enjoy."

That's generally true
Similar interests...
Passions, etc.

"She also said you basically have to throw yourself at people"

That's okay. They can catch! lol
The ones who need to anyway-

Is 'playing hard to get' a thing to be relied on at all? If you didn't fling yourself at people, or even seem interested, would the average mormon Utahn wonder if he/she might be missing something?