Posted by:
Afraid of Death
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Date: February 04, 2021 06:56AM
Nightingale replied, before I had a chance to. What she writes is true: "Ages 20-49. That's the group that gets together en masse here to party. And then spread the virus to the most vulnerable, who suffer the highest morbidity and mortality rates from contracting it."
Last spring, I had a breakdown.
I had a cancer scare, and hospital tests. Good medical care was hard to find at that time, and no one was allowed to go to the hospital with me.
I was in bad pain, and didn't sleep for many weeks, and stopped eating. I lost 25 pounds in 6 weeks. I had bad panic attacks all day and night. I cried for all the people who were dying. I finally got an appointment with a psychiatrist, because my family didn't want to talk to me. I took Lexapro for a few months, and now I'm doing better than most people I know.
See a psychiatrist or phychologist, if you can!
Having people gas-light me because I listened to the facts and science, and disrespect my medical knowledge and experience--put me over the edge--where the fear of death was already pushing me.
My own children got angry at me for not visiting them more often, and said that I didn't love the grandchildren, because I wouldn't hug them or eat with them in their house, like their anti-mask anti-vax grandparents did. My son who lives nearby didn't speak to me for two months. My children who lived with me refused to wear masks at first, and kept socializing in groups, playing basketball and football, going on vacation trips. If I tried to warn them, they would blow up at me. Most of the neighbors and people in the stores were NOT wearing masks. I'm over 70 with underlying conditions.
I had to face the fact that my survival was up to me, alone. I felt that no one cared.
Here in Salt Lake City, I have been attacked for being overly cautious, for wearing a mask, for not going to weddings, and for not going to parties or out to restaurants with my friends. I felt so picked-on, that I stopped talking to my friends. Even the president of the US made fun of "covid-covid-covid" and refused to to anything to help Americans. People lied on the news that masks were no help at all, and even said they made the contagion worse.
One motivation to not get sick is that if any of my kids do give me the virus and I died, whoever felt responsible would feel horrible! Horrible! Another motivation I have now is that I don't want to occupy a much-needed hospital bed.
I got a cold, too, so I had to became even more strict with the precautions. Luckily, I haven't had to go into doctors' offices as much. I have my groceries delivered, which my kids think is crazy.
Getting my last will and testament and trust up-to-date helped.
Once the doctor convinced me that my negative responses to the Covid pandemic and the state of the government were pretty normal, I got well. I haven't had any panic attacks since last April.
I hope that we never have to go through this again!
Hopefully, America will be equipped to handle any distributions of new vaccines for new variants, and monitor future epidemics more efficiently, and thus prevent such an outrageous number of cases and unnecessary deaths. If only people will wear masks. If only we have intelligent, honest, humane leaders, in the future.