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Recovery from Mormonism (RfM) discussion forum. 
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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 08:11AM

Hello out there. Is there any ex-mormons from Scandinavia in this forum? We are not so many ex-mormons (or mormons) over here...

I wonder also how different this religion is from the States for example to Sweden where I have been member for many years.

I remember meetings with 40-50 people in each town and it was a very "fanatic" feeling around some of the wards. Maybe the faith is more relaxed when there it is mormons all around like in Utah?

And when someone leaves their lds-faith like I did, then it is very silent around the exmormons over here, except a few who went out in media and tell their stories about their old faith and how much damage it gave them.

Is the ex-mormons hanging around alot irl over there or how does it work? Just curious.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 08:20AM

I mean after 20+ years of being a mormon there is much to talk about with people and most of the people who has not been involved in the religion themselves, don´t seem to understand anything of what a person talking about, who has been member of the mormonchurch.

It is tough to be an ex-mormon over here, I´ll tell you.

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Posted by: loislane ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 08:49AM

You have come to the right online place to discuss your issues as an ex-Mormon here.

SLC, Utah has a huge ex-Mormon population, but I don't know how organized they are.

I would say, stick around here, speak up when you feel like it, get to know people.

My own ancestors were from Denmark. The Mormons did very well in the Scandinavian countries, so there are a lot of Mormons and ex-Mormons with Scandinavian ancestors.

Truth be told, you would find it difficult, even if you were in the USofA to find people to discuss your dilemma with.

But you will find such people here.

Google Mormon Stories, watch a few videos and see how other people have coped.

But as far as I'm concerned, This Is The Place.

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Posted by: Hedning ( )
Date: July 01, 2021 12:26AM

If you aren't aware of them I can introduce you.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 10:56AM

Hi frank.

I'm of Swedish decent. My grandfather joined the church and left Sweden to move to Utah. How I wish I had learned Swedish and more about Sweden from him when he was alive.

There are many ex-members in the USA like me who have Scandinavian convert ancestors.

I do not know what Mormons are like in Scandinavia. I can say that Mormons are different in the Mormon belt of the USA (Utah, Idaho) than they are in other states where Mormons are not prominent.

There are ex-Mormons hanging around talking about their experiences. Most of them tend to find like minded people on the internet (like here) but some areas have small groups who meet. Most people here in the USA don't go around discussing religion in public in general, so it is not always easy to find people who understand.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 12:16PM

Ok, thanks for answers lois lane and dagny. How long ago did you left the lds-faith?

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 12:22PM

I left almost 20 years ago. I stay here on this bulletin board because it is nice to have a place where so many people have the common experience of leaving the Mormon church.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 12:34PM

ok,that is a long time. i think the only people who understands ex-mormons are ex-mormons... people does not understand who has not been involved in it. they maybe tries to understand, but i think it is impossible for them to see how complex this religion is in so many ares in life.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 12:39PM

That is very true, frank.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 12:49PM

so you have been for a while then as you said. how has the atmosphere changed through the years here at exmormon? Has it been same all the time?

I feel so much desperation and bitterness here. alot of wounded hearts. good that this site exists, so people can write out all the mess that that have gone through.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 01:30PM

Many people are very angry when they first realize the church is not what it claims. They are mad they spent time and money. Some feel mad they were gullible to stay so long.

Over time, people have to decide what to do about relationships with Mormon family and friends. This can be difficult.

At my stage, I am over Mormonism really. I studied my way out and like to learn.

I want people to know others have left the Mormon church and are living happy successful lives. Once you leave, you are able to see much more from the outside about how the church operates and controls people.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 06:55PM

I believe that board member Cauda is from Sweden, although she's living in the U.S. now.

I am surprised that Swedish Mormons are as strict as you say. From what people have posted over the years, Utah Mormons (along with those in the "Morridor," which also includes Idaho, Arizona, and parts of western Wyoming and eastern Oregon and Washington state,) can be quite strict and unrelenting as well. It's often been a shock to Mormons who move to Utah from elsewhere in the U.S., where Mormonism can be more relaxed, with more of a community feel.

Do you recall the "Swedish Rescue," which was the church's response to Hans Mattson and his wife's crisis of faith? It was big news here in the States.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 07:36PM

1/2 Norwegian; I'm not telling which half of me is Norwegian...

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Posted by: Susan I/S ( )
Date: June 30, 2021 07:21AM

GNPE, that would be the troll half :) https://www.lifeinnorway.net/norwegian-trolls/
I couldn't resist!

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: June 29, 2021 08:33PM

My family (great grandfather) was from Sweden, but he was not a mormon. My mother's family joined the church and my mother briefly converted my father. I was born and raised in the church in the US, but not in Utah. I left the church in 1987. It was not too difficult because I wasn't in Utah with only mormon friends. But it was difficult to feel like you wasted your youth on this religion.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 30, 2021 08:04AM

Devoted Exmo.:So you left the church 1987. how difficult was it to find books in a time without internet about errors in mormonism? And did you go to the temple back in the 80-ties? It seems like some rituals then were more "dramtatic" than nowadays...

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: July 01, 2021 09:58AM

Frank, when I left in '87, I wasn't interested in books or the internet in confirming what I believed about the church, that it was a ridiculous waste of my time, energy and money. I knew the rest of the world got along just fine without mormonism and I wanted to just be a normal person.

I did go to the temple pre-1980. I was really upset about what when on and felt highly manipulated because I had to agree to go along with everything prior to pantomiming slitting my throat, etc. You certainly could not back out of going along because you were there to get married and didn't even know what it was that you were agreeing to! I thought the whole thing was a nightmare and CERTAINLY not a pleasant, spiritual event. I think I only went back to the temple once after that. I hated it.

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Posted by: frank ( )
Date: June 30, 2021 08:18AM

Summer: It has been very strict in those wards I been to in Sweden. If you drank a coca cola and someone saw it..then you could be in trouble and members begun to talk alot behind your back.

A lot of controlling between members and a lot judging. Not so uplifting. When I think back at my time as member, I never felt so much loved by other members. It was most about control.

Especially after the temple...

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: June 30, 2021 08:32AM

Ouch! I'm sorry that you had to deal with that.

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Posted by: alsd ( )
Date: July 01, 2021 01:30PM

American here, but currently (and permanently) living in Denmark.

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