One is a clerk at a Love’s Convenience Store in Green River, WY.
A second was last seen helping Brother Rasmussen change a flat tire near Fillmore, UT. Changing flats and waking people up and steering their car back onto the road, out in the middle of nowhere seems to be a favorite pastime.
The third is that annoying guy on tv selling leaf guard rain gutter covers. If you are not in the Utah tv market, consider yourself lucky.
The story went that he & his wife were driving at night on some lonely country back road when they crashed the car and he was badly hurt (head injury IIRC). Out of nowhere some guy appeared at the side of the car and asked if he wanted a priesthood blessing. Why yes, of course! So the mysterious stranger administered the requested blessing and then vanished into the darkness. This anecdote was told to us with great solemnity and reverence.
Several months later he and his APs lied to a roomful of us during a zone meeting about missions worldwide starting to implement the United Order. (They explained this to mean that all mission contributions would be charged the same rate whether it was an expensive or cheap mission. This is of course the system now used, but back then, those paying for Japanese missions were expected to cough up more than contributors to Bolivian missions.)
They justified their deceit as a "test" to measure our faithfulness and commitment to the Lord's Work. After that, I freely submitted phony reports about hours worked and discussions given, and felt not the slightest twinge of guilt.
According to Mormon mythology (stressing the word "myth"), there were only five immortals that should still be roaming the earth today. 1.) Three Nephites, 2.) John the beloved, and 3.) Cain. Somehow, we always hear these stories of people running in to the three nephites or John the beloved. Anyone hear any stories from anyone running in to Cain? A part of his curse was that no one can ever kill him and that he has to roam the earth until Judgement day.
I never understood why Peter, James, and John needed to come down from heaven to “restore” the priesthood. The Three Nephites were already here, so the priesthood was never really taken from the earth. The Three Nephites certainly could have taken a break from rescuing people long enough to give the priesthood to Joe.
What, what??? You mean to say that there is yet another plot hole in mormon mythology, which is synonymous with mormon theology?
I think you are right CrispingPin. Even by mormon mythology (per the Book of Mormon), the priesthood was never really taken from the earth. But the story sounds good to the gentiles.
1. The mormon argument is that "the priesthood was taken from the earth." The 3N's refute that argument, so mormons have to move the goalposts to "keys."
2. The mormon god who can wave his magic wand to make dino bones layer nicely in strata, giving the appearance of evolution, and who prevented all those bones from vaporizing in the heat generated by all those pre-earth planets colliding, could easily wave his wand again and give the "keys" to the 3N's.
3. Church doctrine sez that John was also on the earth the whole time. John clearly had the "keys" since JS claimed he was ordained by John. Therefore, the "keys" were never taken from the earth either, and John could have transferred them to the 3N's. By any interpretation of mormon doctrine, it was always unnecessary for Peter and James to hie from Kolob.
My Uncle Lavar, who has a tendency to drink too much, claimed that he met the Three Nephites and John the Revelator one night last summer. He says they were roasting hot dogs over a fire at Lone Rock Beach by Lake Powell. When uncle asked about Cain they all laughed and said he was out swimming around the lake because it brought back memories of all the time he spent treading water during Noah's flood.
In a Hollywood blockbuster about the Three Nephites teaming up with the Black Window (before her untimely death), which three Hollywood stars would you select to play the big three?
And you can’t pick Cheech Marin, as he is one of my choices!
They actually helped my elderly parents change a tire once somewhere on the freeway between St. George and Mesa. They were disguised as motorcyclists in black leather. Clever.
I wish some media guy would get Mitt on the record for believing (or not believing) that there are three Injuns who have been wandering the earth since Christ's resurrection...who also happen to be expert roadside auto repairmen.
They dropped into my mom's store near the Logan temple to tell her she would have an amazing son. Actually, can't remember what they told her but it was something special like the area around the Logan temple, where she lived, was being protected from evil.
> man, this cult has some > really weird 'stuff' going
One of my top three MormoWeirdism is the 'fact' that when a spirit appears to you, you need to offer to shake hands with him (women are apparently never given this role!).
A 'reconstituted' dead person, aka resurrected or translated being, will then do so.
A good spirit will explain that he can't, that he's a non-corporeal being.
But an evil spirit will immediately extend his hand, and your hand will go right through it, and you will know you're dealing with a real dumb-ass bad-boy spirit. Sure, go ahead and listen to his offer; maybe he'll make Outer Darkness worth your time and effort.
Apparently, this is a permanent condition and they just can't learn to say, "Oh, hey, no-can-do, good buddy, I'm not corporeal, but my message is super important!"