DW is a “lapsed” (non practicing) Mormon but she still holds onto her belief somehow. On a family chat, our two oldest children have been discussing COVID, the plague, and monkey pox lately (their second cousin is in the hospital with COVID). Anyway, dear wife tells our kids the end is coming and she’s quite serious in her assertion. Sadly, her perspective has turned quite cynical since her own health has declined and I can’t fault her for that. Oftentimes she says, “I wish you could feel how nauseous I feel.” It’s been almost six years that she has had nausea, and she lost her sense of taste. Our family doctor has performed every kind of test he could think of and made several referrals to other health care professionals without any success. Unfortunately, her tests are always inconclusive. I wish I had some idea how to turn her health around and lift her spirits. It doesn’t help that we no longer share a common religious belief. One thing consistently brightens her day though: frequent visits with our great granddaughter, who is 20 months old. She’s a live wire, for sure.

Cuz X

I’ll add one thing that’s been rough on my wife. She slipped and fell, suffering a hairline fracture in a vertebra at the end of 2019. Decreased mobility and fear of falling have become serious issues affecting DW’s quality of life. We did downsize to a single level house three months ago and that’s helped in a major way. I just don’t know what else to do for her at this point.

I know how back pain and loss of mobility can mess with one's brain and perception of the world. Not having any religious belief took that out of my experience but feelings of doom can sneak in when everything hurts and it gets overwhelming.

There might be a metaphor in there. She's nauseated with the state of the world and has no taste for it.

Of course the end is coming!
TO EACH AND EVERY HUMAN THAT IS BORN!
An ending must come.
"THE END"? I am not so sure

Frequent poster going anon.

My husband has had debilitating nausea since 2009, when his mother died.

He's been to every doctor and every psychiatrist. Sounds similar to your situation. Some professionals (and me) don't believe he has a desire to get well. I believe he uses sickness as currency.

If he is forced (yes, forced) to get out of bed and work physically, he seems to be OK. Otherwise, He refuses to listen to me w/re to anything that would make him feel better. He is actually defiant to remedies. He is very addicted to Coke.

This has been HELL on our marriage. My sympathy has run out.

He is very much among the "They are out to get us" crowd.

And, yes ... the nausea. Always ... the nausea.

It is very hard to live with such a spouse.

There is a saying that you can't live with a crazy person without becoming crazy yourself.

If divorce is not an option, you have to learn to tune him out and build your own life.

A depressed person can fill the whole house with his depression.

Once again, if you cannot divorce him, and sometimes you just can't, then build your own life.

Pay someone else to mow the lawn and let your husband stay in bed 24/7. Refuse to be a nag. Focus on friends, and not marriage. Learn a new career if money is an object (money is ALWAYS an object), or take up a new hobby if it isn't.

Your spouse will NEVER make you happy, so you have to learn to achieve happiness without him.

I've been in your shoes. Don't know how I made it through, but I did. I've learned the only one I can depend on is me, so I have to learn to treat myself like I'm worth something.

"I've learned the only one I can depend on is me, so I have to learn to treat myself like I'm worth something."

Excellent advice.

Nobody can give you the love you refuse to give yourself. They can try, but you saw how that works.

Anyway, you are free now. Good for you. I am free too, perhaps thanks to my Mormon identity collapsing like a Surfside condo, but I think thanks to the broken people who taught me what love wasn’t.

Has your husband tried Ondansetron (generic Zofran?) I hate to compare a human to a cat, but it's done wonders for my cat who has pancreatitis and IBD. It has a solid reputation among pet owners.

Also, it may be possible that your husband has a hidden condition in the panc/IBD, etc. spectrum. Sometimes these cases in felines elude testing and imaging, and are only visible during exploratory surgery. Just a thought.

I don't mean to be harsh here, but has a "conversion disorder" been ruled out? Could it be a mental health issue?

HH =)

No, you are not being harsh. That sounds like exactly what is going on.

I just looked it up. The articles provide a lot of insight and hope.

Has she been vaccinated ?

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Has she been vaccinated ?
===============================
we think alike

I made her an appointment as soon as they opened up vaccinations for 65 and older. We got the Pfizer vaccines in March. DW didn’t want it but I insisted.

My wife’s nausea began nearly six years ago, some eight months before I retired. The loss of taste started after she tripped and fell, breaking the bridge of her nose while I was convalescing from a major surgery in the spring.

A year later, she fell on the beach and broke a fibula, on our anniversary no less.

The latest fall, as I mentioned earlier, was due to a water leak in our bathroom. She grabbed a rug and was taking it to the laundry room when she slipped on some wet tile. That was the most debilitating accident of all. If it weren’t for bad luck, you know…

My wife’s days revolve around playing games on her iPad and watching television. She literally stays awake all night and sleeps through the morning hours, blaming the nausea and enabled by our daughter, who lives with us and works from home in the late afternoons and evenings.

In the meantime, I’m doing my best to improve my own health. In January 2020, my doctor diagnosed me with pre-diabetes. As soon as the Covid situation allowed, I enrolled in a class called the Weigh To Health, which I took very seriously. By my next physical in January 2021, my A1C and weight were in the normal range. Thanks to information from the class and two essential apps, Runkeeper to track aerobic activity and MyFitnessPal to keep track of my calories and macros, I released 42 pounds over the last 11 months.

So that’s the down low on my health and DW’s.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2021 06:02PM by cuzx.

A friend's husband has lost a similar amount of weight using the MyFitnessPal app.

Being convinced “the end” is about to happen is a pretty common human trait. Mormons of course encourage this mindset with their latter day shtick, and former year’s supply rhetoric. And Jeebus being just around the corner.

For individuals, there is of course an end coming. Even for communities an end may come, though that is not a common event. But what they are usually talking about, IMHO, when they say the end is coming, is the end of human civilization, or worse.

They shouldn’t hold their breath. Civilization may get dented pretty badly, but disappear altogether? I don’t think so. I also doubt Jeebus is just around the corner.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/25/2021 06:29PM by Brother Of Jerry.

"The end" and I are old friends. I've been hearing about the coming of the end since before I could talk.

Later, I discovered people were expecting "the end" long before I was born. End-of-the-worlders are very patient. Let's give them that.

Nothing to prepare for. It's just the end. And the beginning of something else, hopefully something better.

But this old world is tougher than anyone thought so (in my opinion at least) the world will carry on long after the end-of-the-worlders have ended their existence.

Long after the human species is gone, certainly.

The world is so tough, it will survive it’s current fever.
The human race will either crap on itself and perish, or figure out how to adapt.
Not gonna make book on human’s survival…the earth, though, no big deal, just a warm spell.

Precisely. I get frustrated with people claiming "we are going to destroy all life on earth!"

No we're not. We may kill off a bunch of species. We may kill off a bunch of humans with climate change or nuclear war, or both. But destroy all life on earth - as poster Atlas said above, we will just be a sudden temporary warm spell in the geologic record.

I was looking at ants the other day. The Earth has way more ants than humans, even by weight. We humans are just squatters on their turf. Whatever survives us, I can always come back as that.

Can you really have too much optimism? Imagine having the option of being a slime mold instead of a Mormon. See? There is hope.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/27/2021 08:04PM by babyloncansuckit.

You will make an excellent cockroach!

Chronic, unexplained pain is frustrating for the person who experiences it. It's frustrating to be disbelieved. It's frustrating to not have a remedy. If the condition isn't already due to stress, it will lead to stress, making things worse.

Luckily, there's some good news...

First, usually the doctors are pretty good at figuring out the really bad stuff. Which means if they can't figure it out, the pain is probably not due to something really bad.

Also, take it from someone who used to think that therapy was for losers...CBT can really help change the pessimistic perceptions. If you suffer from chronic, unexplained issues, go see a therapist and start doing CBT, ASAP. It won't fix the problems, but can help the sufferer progress from suicidal ideation to some life satisfaction.

Finally, for the sake of all that is sane and good, stay away from apocalyptic religions.

I was always expected to work hard as a kid, though I was allowed to be ill. I'm the one who takes care of everyone else and they all come undone when I am not doing well. I can't possibly be ill!!!!

I had 2 cataracts and dentures done last year. All of a sudden, I was feeling like I was getting a cold/flu in February all the time. I was chilled deep in my bones and the doctor wasn't really paying attention. Then she DID and she had me take several tests. I had labs every week almost. I have anemia. Then she started looking for reasons I have anemia. Welllllll, see above. I have always had low blood counts. I was told not to be giving any away some years ago. So I've been on liquid iron--isn't so hard on the system and works better. I feel much better, but she is still doing some tests just to make sure.

BUT do you think anyone helps out? ha ha ha ha ha ha That's a joke, right? If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. After all, "he" left me and I raised the kids. My siblings do the same thing. I have a few who depend on me and wear me out emotionally and mentally.

I am in therapy and have been for years. I couldn't have made it without therapy. My aunt thought when I had my cataracts, they'd all be helping out. Are you kidding me? I had shingles for a year and they all thought I should be up and doing things, entertaining them. I do it to myself I guess.

My boyfriend is in Canada for about a month. Guess who is mowing his lawn as the neighbor kids just didn't do it (my neighbors who promised to do it). Oh well. Working gives me a lift. About to go weed at the boyfriend's house. I don't have to. I want to do this.

My mother and dad were both very ill and they still both got up and moved. My dad would make it to his pickup everyday and drive to the farm and do things he shouldn't have been doing. His knees were really bad, but they wouldn't do surgery on them because of his heart (he had bypass surgery once). My mother had rheumatoid arthritis and was still moving up to the day she died.

It would be really hard for me to live with someone who is always sick. I don't have a lot of patience.

I've always thought that if there was ever a time when people were justified in believing the end was near was during the time of the bubonic plague, the Black Death. But it didn't end. We're still here.

Do not want to play down diagnosis of any kind. But around here Fibromyalgia has been a common explanation for different ailments. When I look back it started in the beginning of the 1990s. Back then it was resonable because many of the people suffering from it were people that had worked in manual industries (Fordism/Taylorism type of work). But the economy changed. Many ailments in my diminishing social circle is caused today by too little exercise, too much fast food, too much alcohol (sometimes also pills and narcotics) and natural aging combined with a deeeeeeeeeeeep reluctance to admit there are stressful family problems going on.

I'm 81 and I'm pretty convinced the end of coming, too. Hopefully later rather than sooner.

Sometime ago, I had the chance....no took the opportunity to testify to my better half that there would be no end of times as she was making an issue of that concept. I asked The Lord God Almighty to please strike me dead if I was out of line. I then took the opportunity to testify that the 15 have not seen Jesus nor were they on any better communication status than I was with "the Jesus" figure. T'was a powerful testimony.

Most of the problems in the comeuppance of human-kind will befall the Americans, the authors of so much of the damage. The Southwest, which includes much of Utah, is pretty much out of water, with none sitting in the wings. We are beset with a bunch of ne'er-do-wells who are poorly educated, and have a great many guns, and are willing to blow the heads off of people like me. All of this is more likely to happen than not, and is very worrisome. I'm not sure whether or not the whole world will get a cold from our great sneezing, but that's likely, too.

It is rapidly occurring to most of the world that we are a problematic people, and that we are witnesses who fail to see our own demise. Chants of "we're Number One!" will not get us anywhere, except shot do death by our own people. And many of these people will come from Idaho and Utah.