When I left the Mormon church, literally all my Mormon ward friends and neighbors shunned me. The shunning continued for over 12 years, until I left Salt Lake. But there are still good people in the world!

I was visiting family in SLC, so I drove down to Provo to attend a group reunion luncheon, held every 5 years, at a friend's beautiful house. I hadn't attended a reunion for 10 years, though we have all kept in touch through Christmas cards, e-mails, twitter, and Zoom. (I don't do Fakebook.) Back in our BYU days, we were just enjoying life, and our freedom of living away from home. We weren't rebellious, but believed in equality for women, and were at BYU to get our education, and prepare for a career. We definitely did not fit the stereotype of the perfect, compliant Mormon woman. We were active in student government because we wanted to make a difference, and it was more interesting and more social than Young Women's, or church stuff. Most of us were from outside of Utah. Marriage, for most of us, came later, after grad school, law school, the military, etc. We shared a love of learning, music, reading, tennis, hiking, Two are my first cousins. One is a childhood friend from California. Several of us were bridesmaids for each other.

It was a fun time, but we all agreed that our real education started after we graduated from BYU, and went off to other universities. These women's stories are amazing, and worth telling--but there's not enough time and space to tell them here. We were all GOOD Mormons--no drinking or cheating or lying--and our integrity mattered to us. All eight of us who got married in the temple, got divorced because of the husband's infidelity, and my husband beat me. My second Mormon husband cheated on me. The two non-Mormon marriages are still in tact.

We did well as single mothers. Amazingly, our children are good people, and successful in their lives. (This is the truth, and not bragging). There were adversities, of course, but not coming from our children. Only one divorced woman got child support, and the rest were the sole support, as I was. Only one woman is still an active Mormon, and her kids have had problems with drug abuse. She told us that one of her sons recently committed suicide, which shocked us all to the core.

After listening to these honest catching-up stories around the room, It hit home with me that the Mormon cult was directly associated with most of the heartache in our lives. As of now, half of the divorced women in the group are happily re-married to good non- and ex-Mormon husbands. Aside from brief mentions of Mormonism, their stories were of happiness, adventure, success, challenges met, change and growth. It's fun to live long enough to see where people end up. Sometimes goodness prevails!

Sorry to ramble. As a germ-phobe, I was surprised that I went to the luncheon without any thought of covid, or any decision about whether I should wear a mask. I always carry one in my pocket, out of habit.

I was the last one to arrive, and was greeted by a room full of smiling, beautiful faces, and hugs all around. After all the hugs, and it was too late, someone smiled and asked me, "You are fully vaccinated, aren't you?"

Though we avoided political discussions, in our communications, I had just automatically assumed that these intelligent women were in the same place I was--governed by logic, reason, and love. I figured that they had, separately, gone through the same journey in changing political parties as most of us had gone through in changing religious affiliations.

I took a chance of commiting a major faux pas, and blurted out, "Of course I'm fully vaccinated, and I know without even asking that all of you are, as well--and I'm anti Trump!"

They laughed, and said, "Good--we can all eat together, and talk freely!"

It was impressive that each of us had struggled, separately, to arrive in the same place. We were the same people we always were, except we took our same hearts and same goals and put them into a different framework, that better suited our principles.

Know what I mean? WE didn't change: the world changed, and we adapted, accordingly. That's what makes us survivors. I'm so proud of my friends!

We didn't talk much more about politics or religion--there's so much more going on in our lives. And my first post-covid hand-cooked meal made by someone else tasted great!


"We can eat together, and talk freely." What a beautiful concept, is it not? >^..^<



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2021 03:58AM by forestpal.

I'm glad that many of your college friends (including your two cousins) are smart, reasonable, and no longer buy into the LDS mythology. Now, keep an eye on that Delta variant...

I agree with blindguy. It's so nice to hear that most of your college friends have left LDS Inc. Unfortunately only one of my close TBM friends is out. I've had to cut off one TBM friend several times because of her constant chatter about the Temple, the adversary, desire to serve a mission, etc. Too triggering for me and I just can't take it anymore. It would be great if she would see the light but alas, she's so entrenched in "the church" she'll never break free. It's too bad because her life has gone down the toilet, thanks to LDS Inc.

Funny that you mention that of your group of college friends only the ones who married ex or nevermos have not divorced. Same with my friends. Of my mix of very good friends who are both Mormon and nevermo, only the nevermos have not divorced and seem to have happy marriages. All TBM friends had very ugly divorces. Interesting.