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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 03:12AM

Some of you know that besides singing old showtunes, I'm also a writer, of sorts. Some time ago, I ran across a YouTube channel by an ex Mormon who calls herself Exmo Lex. I used one of her videos in a post I wrote, so I get her videos suggested to me on YouTube.

This morning, I decided to watch one of her most recent videos. It was about how she discovered that her family was calling her a "Jezebel" behind her back, and doing their best to undermine her efforts as a parent, trying to raise her kids outside of Mormonism. She thought things had been going well, but then she discovered that the "niceness" was just a facade. Really, her family thought of her as akin to a woman with no morals.

I'm not LDS, but I could sort of relate to her. My family is religious and conservative, and I haven't felt like I belonged in years. They've never called me a Jezebel, although I do have an uncle who called me a "liberal nutcase" (which I'm not-- I just don't agree with my uncle's politics). I'm sure other stuff has been said, though. I just don't feel like I fit in with my family anymore...

So I could understand Exmo Lex's heartbreak on one level... but not having been LDS, I don't understand the other side of it. I'm sure people here could relate to what she says, though. My heart goes out to her. It feels like such a loss when you see your family members for who they really are, and it turns out who they really are is far from the image they project.

The church does so much to tear up families. It's so sad that Lex's family doesn't see her for the beautiful, intelligent, and obviously thoughtful person she really is. They should be proud of her, instead of calling her names behind her back.

Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/24/2021 08:11AM by knotheadusc.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 05:30AM

It’s sad for her too, having hopes that Mormon craziness wouldn’t ruin her relationship with her inlaws.

I’m happy to have Mormonism in my rear view mirror, but this makes me want to stop, throw it in reverse, and run over it a few times.

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 08:50AM

her sister-in-law sent her a card while she was in the hospital saying something about my mom has good kids even if they don't go to church. My mother was crying over that card. The way it was stated was really horrible. I talked to my mother about how good-hearted her kids are and how they are hard workers, too. Then talked to her about my aunt's children. One was sent home from his mission for having an affair with a married woman. THEN he had an affair with a 16-year-old girl that was in the SS class he was teaching. He has cheated many times on his wife. But he gets back into the church somehow.

Her oldest son had to get married and now is a "spiritual giant" (sarcasm).

They are all active in the church though, so that makes it all good.

My mother died a few weeks later.

My parents were very supportive of me. They had seen what i had been through. They always loved the 3 of my siblings who went inactive in their teens and also all their grandchildren. My daughter is the only mormon among their grandchildren. My mother, who was more mormon than my dad, told me I could be spiritual and not be any religion. They would never not love their children. My oldest brother, who left the church as a teenager, had a brain bleed at age 42 while majoring in Russian in college. He was in the army in Berlin in the 1970s and translated Russian and German to English. They nursed him back to health, taking him to speech therapy for months. My dad gave him his IV antibiotics for the infections he got in his head. He had to have three brain surgeries.

If my family called me a Jezebel it would be as a joke and we'd all laugh as that is how we are. My sister and I and my niece are all Jezebels I guess. I wear the badge with pride. My parents didn't try to get my kids into church, although I found out my dad told my daughter just after my mom died to keep going to church. Then he died 2 months later. I am pretty sure that if my daughter keeps going to church, that will be why. My dad was a good man, but he wasn't all that religious, so I know it all had to do with my mother just dying.

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Posted by: valkyriequeen ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 11:09AM

IMO, most humans have an appalling lack of self esteem. This opens the door for organizations like TSCC, or other organizations or individuals to prey on those that they think are weak.

In the Book of Mormon, King Benjamin tells people that they are worth less than the dust of the earth; no wonder TSCC tells people they are worthless.

I remember my dad telling me (after an incident at school where I had been bullied) that anyone who tries to build themselves up by tearing someone down, is the one who has the real problem.

Some of you know that our daughter went to New York and some other states as a front line worker last year. When she returned from New York, her moron husband, instead of welcoming her back, taunted her saying: "you think you're a hero. Well, you are nothing". He has been awful with her for a long time, always putting her down.

We told her that she left one cult (TSCC), and is involved with another (him and his family). We're trying to de-program her and get her self esteem back, which is another story. Their move to another state didn't happen because she didn't want to be alone with him, away from family and friends.

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Posted by: Hedning ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 11:32AM

"you think you're a hero. Well, you are nothing". WTF ?

It seems like society and in particular Utahns have decided it's OK to be nasty mean and demeaning. This is a problem you can draw the links to the influence of extreme right wing in your face politics and making people believe they have the personal freedom to bypass the norms of social behavior and responsibility for our fellow humans that bind us together as a nation.

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: August 25, 2021 01:47AM

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: August 25, 2021 07:54PM

Spot on.

The orgy of nihilism over the last four or five years achieved little more than permitting its enthusiasts to violate the norms of civil society and shout from the rooftops that which common courtesy had previously forbidden.

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Posted by: schrodingerscat ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 12:23PM

My Nazi TBM MIL told me that me leaving the church was more painful to her than watching her husband die. (He died a horrible death from Agent Orange exposure in Vietnam that gave him esophageal cancer that ate his throat from the inside out.)

I told her that was insane. That it was just her ego talking. She just wanted to be able to brag about her UberMormon family and didn’t want to admit that nobody in her family even believed any of it anymore, except her. I told her that her husband admitted on his death bed that he didn’t believe any of it and the only reason he pretended he did was so she wouldn’t divorce him.
Ironically my Nazi TBM Wife was threatening me with divorce and Bishop with excommunication at the time if I breathed a word of my doubts to our kids.
I told her not to let the door hit her in the ass on the way out and told the Bishop to go to hell if he thought he could deny me my freedom of speech in my own home, with my own wife and kids.

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Posted by: pollythinks ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 05:05PM

I really appreciate the fact that my family's motto is, "Live and let live". Several never go to church, but that doesn't put them in an "ignore them" status. They are all good people--and that is what matters.

I remember once when my daughter's husband (not LDS) was lectured to by his son (about 7 yrs old), that his father wasn't "worthy", or something like that, because he wasn't LDS.

Fortunately, I was in the room with them at the time, when I empathically set the kid straight by mentioning all his father's virtues (feeding and clothing the kid, and taking such good care of his family, etc.)

My husband, who has now passed, used to be the "fix it" man for us, and even the neighbors when they asked him for his help.

Now my son-in-law is my fix-it man, who willingly--without asking for an award--helps me when ever I need it.

I still remember when, recently, he was up on my roof fixing my air conditioner for me. How many men can do things such as that, let alone be willing to do so?

I used to baby-sit for them when they had somewhere over night to go, and didn't want to take the kids. However, now the kids are old enough to take care of themselves, or married and not living at home.

PS: They had a big dog that laid next to me (on the floor) for sleeping, who liked my face to let me know he liked me. He loved to greet me, but wasn't happy when I tried to leave, so he would guard the side gate, and growl at me.

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Posted by: knotheadusc ( )
Date: August 24, 2021 05:32PM

My husband’s daughter used to be pretty hateful to my husband for not being worthy… but I am happy to report that although she is still devout, she has become a completely different person. She has empathy and kindness in her heart….

And she recently told us it was she was like my husband, rather than her mom. And I can attest that she’s right.

Religious people are not better simply for being religious. A person can be absolutely awful and be a religious person. Or they can be an atheist and be amazing.

I know this. I wish others did.

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Posted by: Greyfort ( )
Date: August 25, 2021 02:50PM

Oh, wow. That's sad. I didn't know that had happened to her. Like you, I'd thought that her family was somewhat supportive, as she had thought they were.

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