Date: October 17, 2021 12:25AM
If I allow myself to believe in repressed trauma that I’ve forgotten, how do I know whether I’m making up my repressed memories or actually remembering stuff that happened? I guess my family thinks I’m making stuff up anyway.
In my experience, ADHD isn’t the result of trauma, it’s just something that happens and produces plenty of its own reinforcing and recurring trauma if left untreated and undiagnosed to grow rampantly in the right way, or the wrong way.
I’m at a point where I’m managing the traumas and the symptoms pretty well, even without medication. I function a lot easier with it though. It used to whip my ass, though. If I got some aspergers on the side too, that will explain my lonely and traumatic childhood with all the guilt and anxiety and scrupulosity and savant talent that still can’t figure people out to my whole satisfaction.
I’ll look that guy up.
Date: October 17, 2021 11:20AM
I'm sure that people have varying types of personalities and some people are a lot more fragile than others. My son is one of those. His father left when they were 10. This son talked to him on the phone and begged him to come home. He has been through a divorce (didn't want to get married, but her mother died and felt coerced). He has tried suicide twice. He was in the mental health ward for a week or so 18 months ago. It hasn't been pretty. There is such a thing called emotional intelligence and my therapist has talked to me about it a lot. Many with it have a tough time. I'm at this time applying for disability for my son. He will be 36 next month. His father's insanity (being gay and all the drama he has caused in our lives) hasn't helped. Luckily, I got my son out of mormonism at age 8.
But I've suffered a lot of trauma myself. I do know of a repressed memory. I haven't even brought it up to my therapist, which you'd think I would. Next time. I always have so much going on that I forget. There a smell of a lotion I had not seen in YEARS that took me right back to where the events had happened. I live in fear of smelling it again. I was always of that place and I didn't know why.
And in jr. high, there was a group of girls who would go around and pull other girls' slips down. This was in the late 1960s and we had to wear dresses to school and we usually all wore slips, mostly half slips. I lived in absolute fear of this happening to me. I do not deal well with stuff like this (and then being mormon and bishopric interviews, etc.). One day about 15 years ago,my sister and I were talking about this and I said, "Oh, I'm sure glad didn't happen to me." And she said, "BUT IT DID!" I remember where I was at in the school and I can see a foggy picture of happening, but I don't remember every detail.
When one of your experiences is bugging you, think about it. You'll know if you allow yourself, too. It sounds to me like someone in your family doesn't want you to remember. I think the path to healing is being able to acknowledge it to yourself. If I remember, I'll ask my therapist next time I get in. For someone with your personality, from what I've read, mormonism was a horrible place for you to be.