In twenty plus years of activity with exmormons, I never have. I was just wondering if anybody else has.

Introverted me's post got me thinking. It is so very hard to make that decision to leave, and yet the blooming and the freedom that comes with reality and an adult life is so worth it.

Anagrammy

never

Perhaps it was from "regret"

No. Sometimes when a poster says this, I question it. It takes a lot for someone to get up the courage to embarrass themselves and announce to those they know and love that they are leaving; why would they try and undo it? The "social" aspect? It wasn't that fun, and how much respect are you going to get from the others if you once resigned then go back? Most people don't leave unless they really mean it.

Also, revulsion if ever TBM locals ooze on to my property.

and not a single regret! In fact, these have been the best years. Leaving Mormonism was very difficult for me but once out it was as if a burden had been lifted. Life has been good ever since.

Nope. In fact, the afternoon my old bishop, now/then 1st councilor in the SP, delivered my "out" letter, I was sitting on my porch, in the sun, havin a cold beer. As he handed the "letter" over, with his deep regrets, I offered him and his son a cold one.

Do they still manually deliver those things, or has the volume gotten too large?

I know of people (myself included) who stopped going to Church without knowing the challenging issues - went off to have fun etc, but returned in later life.

I do not know of anyone who left because of factual issues and went on to return.

No. No regrets here whatsoever.

I've missed friends, but it doesn't make me regret leaving.

If you know, 100%, that it's all just a big fraud, then it's impossible to imagine ever trying to be a part of that lie again, and I wouldn't want to be.

But I can imagine some folks who've lost their families, and perhaps even their jobs, having regrets. My heart goes out to the Shadow Mormons.

I suspect that many Mormons who go back are actually Jack Mormons, rather than people who know that it's a fraud. If a crisis happens in their lives, they often see it as a sign and figure they'd better get their butts back to church.

I haven't known any that have left on their own to regret it. Have known some that have been ex'd and kicked out like a dog..work their way back in. They was still treated like lepers.

unworthy Wrote:
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> I haven't known any that have left on their own to
> regret it. Have known some that have been ex'd and
> kicked out like a dog..work their way back in.
> They was still treated like lepers.

I don't consider myself treated like a leper even though I'm not a member any longer. I certainly doubt I would be treated like a leper if I went back completely.

I think my life might have been a lot easier if I had just stayed. I was told to resign because I joined another church. I either had to resign or be ex'd. I don't think the LDS Church is what it claims to be, but I think sometimes I could have just played along -- the rest of my family is Mormon and I still go to sacrament meeting every week just to be with them. I also attend my own church service. Frankly, if they hadn't told me to resign I might have become somewhat active again. More and more I'm inclined to believe "it's just church." I tend to believe that through Jesus' atonement and resurrection everyone (including non-believers) is going to be saved eventually anyway.

...that it was those who "have been ex'd and kicked out like a dog" who were treated as lepers if they returned.

I don't regret leaving as much as missing the fellowship and the opportunities that a Priesthood holder has, such as ministering to the sick, baptizing and administering the sacrament. It is a shame that those things are not real anymore.

Other than that, I only regret telling anyone because of the BS they gave me for it. But in the end, our home is less stressed since leaving the church, and I believe we are actually happier.

Actually, that's an interesting question.

Do I regret leaving the three hour chloroform sessions, priesthood leadership gossip "who done what" meetings? Obnoxious and overbearing pillars of mormon perfection in the flesh? Temple ceremonies so wierd that I had a panic attack during my endowment session at the DC temple? (I'm a guy who has my own buisiness in the coal industry and spends a lot of time underground. Not a lot scares me.)

On the other hand, when I grew up, the church was still in its community stage (1960s-70s), and in rural appalachia, the mormon community was very tight knit. Sometimes (perhaps it is from getting older), I get a little whimsical thinking about the church pot luck dinners with aaronic vs melechezedik priesthood basketball games after, youth conferences at a rented college, dances with live bands, church sports leagues...

Yes, sometimes i do miss the community aspect of the church. But then, I look at the church now - the doctrine that wouldn't hold up a gnats ass, the individual units being molded into a faceless mass of identical segments, with faceless identical people... I think of the obnoxious people, some of whom I referred to in a previous thread yesterday....

So, do miss some of the good times? Yes.

Do I miss the doctrine, rituals, the angry, Old Testament God that they worship, the idiotic old men who think two earrings in one ear and sandals in church are the path to apostacy? When I pass the Second ward building and remember the sexual abuse I suffered there as a boy? Any regrets for leaving???

Not for a second.

Once my shelf fell down, I was outta there.

Yes, I went through the stages of grieving; there were and are many Mormons I love—and many of those relationships vanished overnight. But regret? Nooooooooooo! Instead, relief to be free of the cult, and joy in the new freedom to live an authentic life!

One of my closest friends in high school left when we were in our mid 20s. A few years later she said she regretted leaving, and then went into why.

But when she was done, I asked her - "yeah, but do you regret leaving the beliefs behind," she said no.

IMHO, she was confusing "regret" with "miss" or some other word relating to loss of something familiar.

She missed some of the social aspects where she found comfort. She missed feeling cozy in her Mormon world. She had a firm set of boundaries given to her, and I think they made her feel safe and secure.

I think a lot of her regret was just her uneasiness during her transition period. I can't blame her - the world outside Mormonism is a big, scary place due to all of the opportunities presented to us. :) I think her identification of regret was just how she interpreted the unsettling feelings of new options.

Thankfully, we're now a few years past that conversation. She's now doing well and I haven't heard her comment on "regret" in quite some time.

Interesting thread - I needed to read this.

I kinda missed singing hymns at first. I'm not religious, but I have a spiritual side to me, and singing hymns (SOME hymns, not all) was kind of nice. The egotistical side of me liked teaching lessons and giving talks, but I'm well over that now. I think I just liked having a forum and some followers.

I never really cared for many Mormons, so could never depend on them for people to hang out with.

Cludgie! You have a forum and some followers here! I am a big fan...

Anagrammy

YES JoD3! If I had to plan an exit I would not tell anyone what I was thinking when I was just having "doubts". The way they attacked me for just thinking a little out of the mo box-I never even said I was going to leave. That alone is what actually gave me that final push out. I guess in a way they did me a favor.

It's an interesting question... Do I regret it now? Now that I have allowed myself to see past the blinders and see the truth... Not at all.

When I first went inactive, there was some regret, or maybe it was just missing the built in friendship. Now, I can see that they weren't really friends, if they were "real" friends, then we'd still be in contact.

Again, looking back, not a single regret, except maybe I wish that I had started doing real research sooner and called it quits faster.

The only regret I have is that I didn't leave sooner!!!!

I don't regret leaving the church, but with my wife still interested in attending life has become much more complicated. I've told her that I will not allow our children to be indoctrinated into believing that the criminal Joseph Smith was a prophet, that the BoM (or the Bible) is the inerrant word of God, or that religion or any institution contains a "fullness of Truth." She's not happy about this, but her involvement in the church has less to do with its truthfulness and more to do with social convenience, so we've more or less worked out a tentative compromise. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier just to fake it, to pretend to be TBM, but I've never been one to keep my opinions to myself and I certainly won't let my kids grow up believing in things I know to be false. I won't allow the church to fill them with guilt for doing things that are healthy and natural, and I will not let them teach my children to condemn others for doing the same.

The universe outside the church makes so much more sense. Why would I want to go back to the confusion?

and just yesterday my husband and I were discussing what a huge relief and blessing it has been in our lives to be done with the whole thing!

Regret leaving? Never!

One year at BYU, I lived with another girl from California. She was very active at BYU, but didn't have the money to finish and transferred back to a community college in CA. I lost touch with her but a couple of years ago, we reconnected through Facebook. Several years after I knew her, her mother died suddenly and she left Mormonism because as she told me, she was going through a really rough time. She totally stopped believing in the church, became very liberal and lived an very non-Mormon lifestyle, according to her. Then one day she realized that leaving the church was the biggest mistake of her life (again, her words) and became active again. She clams she is really happy and from her posts on FB, she seems very active - not in a nauseatingly TBM way. Just that she posts pictures of her YW activities and invites a lot. The funny thing is, she posts a lot of very liberal, out there quotes too and I wonder how she can reconcile two very different thought patterns.

I have run into someone some years ago that vacillated back and forth and couldn't seem to make a decision and stick with it.
They left and went back, but I don't know the final outcome.

I have heard of folks who have left and been exed more than once, and baptized more then once though. I think the most I heard of was three times.