I mean, the church is bogus, I get that. Yet I'm still addicted this hive of unholy blasphemy. It's too much fun. Maybe not as much fun as putting a statue of Baphomet in my front yard to freak out the neighborhood Mormons, but my nerve has its limits.

I can see clearly now, the pain is gone. It's gonna be a bright sunshiney day.

So why do these friggin Mormons and their "church" annoy me so?

Growing up as we did, my "husband" and I, we were just talking about how we got HERE. Really, you can look at it as what a waste of lives. What might have been. My dreams were pretty much destroyed. I've had other dreams come true, but I still deal with HUGE issues over our marriage and the fallout. I will deal with it the rest of my life and my kids will.

And they have my daughter in their clutches. That's a HUGE REASON. I worry about what will happen when she lets the trauma surface as she RUNS from the whole situation, which is why she is still mormon. She actually made a statement to me recently that made me think she doesn't think her dad is really gay, that he is just confused and always will be. I never pursued it.

cl2notloggedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
What
> might have been.

"Of all the words of mice and men,
the saddest are,
'It might have been.'"

(Kurt Vonnegut)

I thought it was Robert Burns who said that.

It must've have been someone before John Steinbeck, because Steinbeck named one of hit novels "Of mice and men."

Robert Burns wrote about the best laid plans of mice and men. John Greenleaf Whittier wrote about the sad words of tongue and pen.

Doctor my eyes by Jackson Brown. That's me most days.

I realized today that Childhood trauma is never actually fixed. It can never be made right. This cruel hijacking of the soul by a self serving cult. Can never me made right. I mean, can it?

God bless the forgiving farmers of Pennsylvania. Too soft to put down a mad dog when it needed it. Maybe we had it coming. The Susquehanna is among the oldest, most sacred rivers on the planet. Who knew of the desecration to come? It's okay. It was my people who let Joseph go instead of feeding the fish.

We're always told we have to "let it go." Why?

Well as in Lonesome Dove. Sorry Jake, can't do that.

Cuz when you thought it was a price you had to pay, you made a total ass of yourself (or in other words tried to live a life of faith), and when you realized it was stupid they swore upon the memory of who you used to be to never let you forget it. Nothing you can do breaks the narratives that your acquaintances are live-action role playing onto you without your consent. Even your most surprising behavior after a period of reflection gets interpreted on the other side as either kicking against the pricks or a call for help. You’re living the hell of pre-mortemly having to hear the celestial citizens practice what they’re going to say to you as a dweller of the lower kingdoms for eternity. Laughing at it is all you can do from losing a few marbles. It wouldn’t be so bad, actually, if these people’s most ridiculous political nightmares became reality just so you can watch them spontaneously combust with apoplectic rage at their lack of certainty and control, feeling hemmed in by a strange culture which both outnumbers them and doesn’t care for their input. Your value as a human being who cares about things that matter is counted as naught and if you are consulted at the eleventh hour, it’s only because some cheesy priesthood meeting just ended and the Mormons are feeling momentarily guilty about the way they treat you, so they’ll give you a token moment to feel human so long as you don’t say anything they don’t want you to say.

It’s a wonder all people do to rebel against this shit is pretend to be a devil worshipper. If the Mormons ever flexed the cultural authoritarianism they wish they could, it would be Missouri or Nauvoo all over again. The stupid bastards haven’t learned a goddamned thing in all this time.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2022 04:16PM by Cold-Dodger.

You are a powerhouse with your words and not even 30. Just getting warmed up, I hope. You would think the church would warn its sales force against indoctrinating the obsessive types.

Besides dealing with Mormonism, you are caught up in a victimhood trend where everyone is vying to be the cool new victim. The cause celibre. But it's disempowering. Even more disempowering than the creepy death cult you came out of. You really do have to reinvent culture, as your elders on both sides have failed you.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2022 05:44PM by bradley.

So is it personal? So what if it is? What if Mormons were the schoolyard bullies I made peace with. I let them bully me with nary a Kip Kinkel fantasy. Okay, bad joke on Kinkel's part, he was legitimately ill.

When was I ever going to learn that you can't be a doormat? That it's not okay to let people wipe their shit all over you? Yes, it's their problem more than yours, but you're enabling them. Just like I was enabling my so called church leaders. They may have amassed a huge amount of lunch money, but these cheap hustlers are nothing but playground bullies.

and cause when you thought it was a price you had to pay. One way or another, I'm so glad to be out.

If I thought there were a CK, I'd be happy to dwell in a lower kingdom. They always treated my family as though we were from a lower kingdom. Come to find out we are "mormon royalty." I didn't know that until I got to this board.

I had an old friend die--well I had 2 die within a few weeks of each other. One was a good mormon lady who was so good to me. She struggled with mormonism, too. The other one was my age and in my ward growing up and she died a fine specimen, but her 3 sons are not mormon, but it has sent me into a tailspin also to remember the times I was friends with her.

So glad to be OUT, but why did we have to suffer through it? And if there is an afterlife, I do believe we'll get the last laugh as we got out.

"So glad to be OUT, but why did we have to suffer through it?"

That is the $64,000 question, adjusted for inflation. Life is suffering. Yet man is that he might have joy. Weighing the wisdom traditions against Joseph's fool's paradise. I would have to go with suffering. We all have our long and winding road. Don't leave me standing here, lead me to your door. And for God's sake fire that Phil Spector guy. What if it was Mormonism led me to the fabled door?

I'm a big fan of The Who, whom I discovered after a childhood protected from such influences. What was this amazing new sound? It was only later that I appreciated Townshend's mysticism. Who is the object of The Bargain? I'd pay any price just to win you. Win who? The inner knower? The inner infinite? Is it about the being within being? Because then I will suffer anything and be glad.

I'd call that a bargain, the best I ever had.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2022 07:18PM by bradley.

Here is the answer to your $64,000 question adjusted for inflation.

Earth is a stage and we are all actors in this large production each time we chose to reincarnate. We all chose it. We also chose to learn it was false and leave it we didn't have to do chose either! I suspect it was more of a group choice because we do reincarnate in soul groups with people we love. Just think of the experience not only for yourself but extended family ---- some approved others didn't. Some chose to accept your decision other chose to work to see if you could continue a relationship.

What did we all get out of this was an 'experience' to be used for learning. What school other than an earthly school could you go to experience this type of learning???? The question is did we do whatever we did showing love and respect for others and maintain loving relationships or did we live a life of complaining and blaming others, and regretting and never being able to let go of the church? There are other questions and could add up to a whole semester worth of credit toward graduation.

Let it go unless there is something positive you can do about it!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/02/2022 12:09AM by spiritist.

Oh hi, I hoped you would join the party. Just in time for Kumbaya, I see.

You happened to catch me in one of my "f--k evil with a big stick" moods, but you are right. Evil always brings its own stick.

We will never pass this way again. The Mormonism we grew up in is gone. Maybe I've mentioned my late DW. We had to separate, but she was a special one. She died the first time on the Salt River in Arizona. NDE, heaven, the whole nine yards. Didn't tell me about it until later, but she asked me for all of the money in my wallet and gave it to the river guide who saved her. She also repeated the words of another guide back to him, the one who said to give it up, she's a goner. Dude turned white as a ghost.

She also worked geriatrics and accompanied many through death. Maybe the NDE primed her. A common theme is to hear music. If you hear music and see dead relatives, it's probably your time although you could possibly pull through. In any case, when you do cross over you will be guided by two deceased relatives.

What I didn't see as a Mormon was thet life is a precious and wonderful gift. I let Mormonism take what was mine and sell it back to me. Oh really, you're gonna do that? It really is a case of the blind leading the blind, and they both fall into a ditch. Look on the faces of the GAs and show me the love. That kind of GA is long gone.

In case you hadn't figured it out, you were always good enough. There was never a moment you weren't.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/01/2022 11:29PM by bradley.

bradley Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> So why do these friggin Mormons and their "church"
> annoy me so?

My annoyance derives from the fact that they get away with it.

When something I accepted, or even believed in, later is debunked, I’m beside myself that the con still continues. It’s as if I think that since I can see through it everyone should also be able to see through it, whatever “it” is. LDSinc happens to be a very large “it”.

I read this lyric in an article about the English singer Sam Fender and the phrases are still circling the cerebellum. Apparently the still small voice haunting me won't leave me alone and wanted me to relay this:

"I was far too scared to hit him, but I would hit him in a heartbeat now."

The line refers to bullying and how years later it still eats at you no matter how well your life turned out. The Mormon church bullied us.


The fists I got to the face as a kid I have been able to forgive, almost treasure--because I did hit back.

The Mormon church? I didn't even know I was being bullied by them. So sly. So under the radar. So clever as they teach you to bully yourself. And they cheat you out of the total peace of it being in the past, because, part of it is still there, and that urge to hit back is still there too.

No reason to let it go. But I'd say it's good to take the residue out of the draws of your mind, dust off, look at those remnants straight on and askew, in the light, in the dark, and put it back in a new compartment in a new order. This time we tell it where to sit and how to behave.