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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 02:07AM

Time to list the shopworn, banal cliches common to Mormonism!

Prize to any new ones!!! btw, I hate all of these-

‘It will be revealed later’ (WHY Are you asking Now??)

‘It has been decided that...’

(insert church ‘Audit Department’ report)

‘with every fiber of my being’

‘I KNOW that the church is True, and that...’

‘The (Mormon) Priesthood is the Power & Authority to act in God’s name’

your favorites?

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 09:21AM

"flip" and/or "fetch".

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Posted by: cl2notloggedin ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 09:57AM

is calling everyone brother and sister. I find it refreshing that the kids I know in this neighborhood call me Colleen. I'm 64. Even the old bishop who lives 2 doors down, his kids call me Colleen.

Tender mercies is one.

My parents never used mormon speak.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 03:42PM

Calling each other brother and sister is another step toward mind control that is so necessary for the cult to continue to exist

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Posted by: cheezus ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:05AM

I remember when the deacons would pass around the mic to the people sitting in the audience during Fast and Testimony meeting... "with every fiber of my being" and "..beyond a shadow of a doubt" were so over used. Those phrases were rendered useless to me -- no meaning there.

'line upon line, precept upon precept..."

'God needed them on the other side' -- the whole Mormon funeral experience. The entire plan of salvation diatribe.

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Posted by: gemini ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:12AM

my most detested one "it will all be worked out in the eternities"

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:12AM

.....and I say this in the name of the Savior, Even Jesus Christ, Amen

Prayers are always answered, sometimes the answer is no...

Paying tithing is fire insurance so you don't burn in Hell.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:48AM

Yes, that “even” thing. Where did that come from ? I just looked it up. Doesn’t make sense.

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Posted by: cheezus ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:13AM

moisture -- sounds pornographic when they say it

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Posted by: CrispingPin ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:30AM

I say these things humbly.

If you’re truly humble, you certainly don’t tell everyone that you’re being humble.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 12:11PM

That's the one that gets me, cuz, I have the "humblest" brother on the planet. And also, he tops it off with "pure of heart".

Good thing he tells us because there are no other telltale signs.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 02:19PM

CrispingPin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
>
> If you’re truly humble, you certainly don’t
> tell everyone that you’re being humble.

I have a masters degree from the Institute of Higher Humility, which was awarded me at the Institute of Higher Humility. This is no "honorary" degree--I got it summa cum laude.

"I say this in all immodesty."

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Posted by: moehoward ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:43AM

"Strengthen and nourish our bodies..."

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 12:03PM

Using first initial instead of first name

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 01:09PM

At least W. Mitt Romney figured out it wouldn’t fly in Regular People Land.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 12:13PM

"Even the elite shall fall."

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 12:15PM

Family members "on the other side" . . . "waiting for their work to be done."

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 02:15PM

The phrase is "even the elect shall be led astray."

Your Mormonese is getting rusty. No, not that "Rusty". ;)


"The elite" are college professors, rich actors, doctors, unless they have a TR, and people who vote Blue, aka the spawn of Satan. "The elect" who have been led astray are Mormons who either listen to Denver Snuffer, or to "the elite".

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 01:56AM

Yes, “elect.”

Where did I get that “elite” business ?

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 02:18PM

I've always liked the word "Twinkled". I doubt it was ever used "over the pulpit", except by some clueless clown who didn't understand "the unwritten rules", but somebody going for a cheap laugh in MIA might throw the term out.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 03:09PM

???

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 05:56PM

When the world ends, that great and terrible day, if you're one of the good sheep you'll be changed "in the twinkling of an eye". Into exactly what I don't recall.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 07:30PM

I think I’ll pass...

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 07:43PM

>When the world ends, that great and terrible day, if you're one of the good sheep you'll be changed "in the twinkling of an eye". Into exactly what I don't recall.

3 Nephi 28:8

8 And ye shall never endure the pains of death; but when I shall come in my glory ye shall be changed in the twinkling of an eye from mortality to immortality; and then shall ye be blessed in the kingdom of my Father.

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Posted by: [|] ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 05:45PM

"I would be remiss" if I didn't add "magnify your calling"

"sacred not secret"

"Oh God, hear the words of my mouth"

"chosen generation"

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 05:49PM

Would be nice if more Mormons actually would be "remiss" when it comes to their jargon.

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Posted by: Humberto ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 09:56PM

"Temple worthy".

Barf.

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Posted by: A Local NLI ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:21PM

I'm going anonymous for this because one or more might be identifiable from the original citations. Sometimes by stake high council in sacrament meetings.

patriarchal pronounced patri-article
performed pronounced pre-formed
soothsayers pronounced sooth-slayers
heinous pronounced HEE-nee-us

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 12:14PM

Ensign pronounced N-sine.

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Posted by: squirrely ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 10:24PM

Holy edifice

I have been edified

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 11:14PM

The Licked Cupcake

The Peeled Banana

The Nailed Post

The chewed Gum

The Shattered China

The Petrified Popcorn

The Plucked Petunia

The Tainted Well

The Goopy Kleenex

The Stained Sock

The Pregnant Chassis

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Posted by: A Local NLI ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 11:18PM


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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 11:42PM

The en-Zine' magazine.


Where did that come from ?

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 11:49PM

All the pseudo cuss words I heard the first day I was at Ricks. WTF?

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 04, 2022 11:59PM

I’ve heard this mis-quote in church a few times:

‘Music to sooth the savage BEAST’

Actually: “Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast. To soften rocks, or bend the knotted oak.”
- Wm. Congreve, 1670 - 1729

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Posted by: onthedownlow ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 11:58AM

When referring to an ugly BYU coed...

"She's a sweet spirit"

and:

"Persevere to the end"

and for the young men during a chastity lesson:

"Keep your rocket in your pocket"

and finally, for every day mormon dinner gatherings:

"Please pass the green jell-o"

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 02:25PM

    After the funeral I attended in Utah in September, the RS put on the luncheon and I feasted on funeral potatoes.   I seriously consider them to be addicting...or maybe it's just my personality?

    I passed on the Fruited Gelatins and instead scarfed down mormon brownies, which are better than gentile brownies.   As to why they are better, I am of the opinion that it's the yearning and unfulfilled dreams leaking into them that draw one towards them.

    I had so many on my plate at one point that I am sure I was scratched off many of the potential invite lists being created.   I left right after the funeral and finished off the last one between St. George and Mesquite.

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Posted by: onthedownlow ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 12:35AM

oh yeah, funeral potatoes with soft hot butter rolls with ham. I slather on the potatoes in the roll with a piece of hot ham. Best roll sandwich ever!!!

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 01:09PM

One of the valiant.

Special.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 02:01AM

My ex was “one of the valiant.”


……unless he saw a spider.

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Posted by: Elder Brother ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 02:18PM

"The covenant path"

They really overuse that one lately and it gives me the creeps.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 05:58PM

Every time I see or hear "it's that time again", I right way think it has something to do with Tithing settlement.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: January 07, 2022 06:05PM

. . . or certain annual medical procedures. . .

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Posted by: auntsukey ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 08:13AM

"My dear .....Brothers .....and Sisters.
I come before you today..........." blah blah blah.

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Posted by: Tyson Dunn ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 02:26PM

I tried editing one of Monson's April 1991 conference talks and got it down to 40% of its length, and I suspect most LDS talks could be chopped while retaining the gist of the message.

Tyson

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 02:36PM

A cultural meme about there being no new jokes, and so when a joke is told, someone might say, "good ol' #202"

Surely someone could do the same with all Mormon conference talks...

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: January 10, 2022 04:52PM

Perhaps it would be service to humankind to leave the extraneous words in and get rid of the gist?

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 07:32AM

This gets my vote. Brilliant.

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Posted by: Dorothy ( )
Date: January 13, 2022 07:48PM

Did, "I would be remiss if I didn't..." get mentioned yet?

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 12:24PM

For some reason I'm fixated on the narrow choice of adjectives in 'EllDeeEss Living' titles: "Remarkable", "Fascinating", "Surprising" -- words that describe things that the vapid or misleading articles don't.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 12:58PM

Oh, another one! "Challenge" has become "invite" during the RMN regime.

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Posted by: Brother Bacon Sandwich ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 10:40PM

In the vein of "sacred not secret"...

A couple of weeks ago a link either on here or reddit led me to a church talk video. I don't recall the context, and I'm going to botch the retelling, but the dude was referring to some super spirtual experience he'd had and he said something along the lines of, "I been counseled not to talk about this kind of experience." Barf.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 11:13PM

Are you sure it wasn't a story about getting caught auditioning an almost 15-year-old bride?

Kirkland - McCostco often counsels some of the faithful to not discuss that kind of experience, yea, even including the famous mormon non-disclosure-agreement.

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Posted by: Kathleen ( )
Date: January 12, 2022 11:34PM

Pay tithing on your gross —-and you’ll reap gross blessings.

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Posted by: dwindler ( )
Date: January 13, 2022 08:25AM

THE...ONE...and ONLY...TRUE,,,Church!!!

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Posted by: Anziano Young ( )
Date: January 13, 2022 09:43AM

My candidate for Most Overused Mormon Cliché of All Time, as excerpted from my (unfinished) memoir: "I know."

"There is a script for bearing one's testimony from which Mormons seldom if ever deviate. 'I know the Church is true.' Spoken with quiet authority, and sometimes just the hint of tears forthcoming, for greater emotional weight. 'I know Joseph Smith was a prophet.' The founder of the feast, indeed. 'I know the Book of Mormon is true.' The keystone of our religion, Ezra Taft Benson called it. 'I know __________ is a prophet.' Fill in the blank with the name of the current Church president. Rinse and repeat.

"Sometimes 'know' will be replaced with a statement of belief, but the standard from is an assertion of certainty and not faith. It is trained into us from a very young age. Attend any fast and testimony meeting and you will be guaranteed to see at least one preschool-age child escorted to the pulpit by its parent and prompted to bear their testimony in the accepted manner: 'I know the Church is true. I know Joseph Smith was a prophet. I know the Book of Mormon is true. I know __________ is a prophet.' Even though I cannot remember it, this was my first experience bearing my testimony, as it was for all my siblings and now is for those of my nieces and nephews being raised in the Church.

"Like vines covering a brick wall that will dig their way through the masonry if left unchecked, Mormonism has reached its tendrils into my life. It wasn't just through bearing my testimony, either. All the songs we sang and learned by heart in Primary, the Church's Sunday School program for children, were designed to cement our faith, to shape it into an unbreakable monolith. The lessons we were taught, drawn from stories in the Book of Mormon, gave us black-and-white answers to simplified moral conundrums. My father would recount the same stories to us every night before bed: of Nephi obtaining the brass plates by beheading the evil Laban at the command of God ('Better that one man should perish than a nation dwindle in unbelief,' the justification went); of Abinadi rebuking the decadent and evil King Noah and then burning alive in the fiery furnace; of the Stripling Warriors who had not taken the vow of pacifism their parents had going to war in their place; of Samuel the Lamanite preaching repentance on the city wall of Zarahemla while arrows flew around him. The obligatory prayer before every meal reminded us that we were never far away from church. The hours of church every Sunday and Church activities during the week kept us dependent on the cultural grip of Mormonism, as much a social outlet as a religious organization. All this was designed, expressly or not, to make us consider faith in Mormonism a given, indeed to replace 'faith' with 'knowledge.' Lacking the ability to question, to express doubt at all, we could state with the confidence of 5-year-olds, 'I *know* the Church is true,' when no such knowledge is possible. Even as an adult, finally learning to question the truth of it all, the thought of leaving the Church gave me a sinking feeling in my stomach. How can I *know* it isn't true? If this is all I've ever known, or more accurately *thought* I've known, how could I possibly leave it?

"The answer turned out to be, only with great difficulty. Three years after coming back from the MTC, I was having dinner in my college's cafeteria with a friend and another student I did not know when the subject turned, somehow, to the Book of Mormon. Mormonism, this person claimed, is a cult, and I found myself arguing otherwise--quite heatedly, in fact, to the point that I apologized to my friend as we left. 'I don't know what came over me,' I said, and I didn't. I had no reason to defend Mormonism like that. No reason, that is, other than years of conditioning to unquestioningly accept that the Church is true, Joseph Smith was a prophet, the Book of Mormon is true, and __________ is a prophet."

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Posted by: Rubicon ( )
Date: January 14, 2022 04:24AM

If you don't like attending the temple, attend more often until you do.

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