This weekend I heard a person discussing the fact that they felt their spouse who has passed several years ago maybe finding another woman to love on the other side I have heard this more and more from couples that have been married for time and eternity. "Their spouse may find someone on the other to love them more than they did when they were alive.
I know a couple who have been sealed to their spouses who are getting married that they are concerned that they might end up falling more in love with this new person than their deceased spouse.
I am hearing this more and more from TBM in the Church and wondering why? In my younger days I was told their spouse would be waiting for them. But that thinking seems to be shifting. Any comments.
I wonder if it has to do that people see Dusty with his young bride Wendy and are starting to realize this eternal marriage thing is not cracked up to what it is suppose to be.

Hasn't the church always levied the threat of failing to live a perfect life will result in your deceased/resurrected spouse "choosing" someone else for all of eternity?

The church has always used fear and uncertainty to control the members.

I’m afraid of it happening while he’s alive!

My husband is so beautiful that women try to pick on him right in front of me. Two women in Cosco just offered to take him home. I introduce myself as his “caseworker.” That seems to cure it.

Like Joanne Woodward said of Paul Newman, “He was always prettier than than me.”

All in good fun, of course.

Kathleen, thanks for my smile of the day.

The entire topic is crazy. People actually sit around and think about this?

Sounds like you are calling elderly widows and widowers crazy? I blame the church. It is happening a lot with the Mormons I know who are reaching the end of their lives.

I don't think they are calling elderly people crazy. The subject matter is crazy though. Worrying whether your dead spouse will fall in love with another dead....person?

And yes, it's the church's doing that is causing the trouble for people.

>> I had an aunt who was terrified that when she died her husband who had died much much earlier of cancer was going to greet her with several wives in tow. <<

But how would they be sealed after death? If they could do it in the spirit world, they wouldn't need earthlings to do it by proxy for them in this world. And if they need it done by proxy in this world, how would they let the earthlings know they need to do it for them?

wrong spot, meant to reply to Done & Done below.

You make good points. None of which matter at 3AM when you are wide awake and the demons of your mind are attacking and common sense and reasonable details have turned their backs on you
. Plus they really believed they were headed into that situation--the down side of a testimony. Although, now I wonder, can there be a down side if there is no up side?

No, just you

There seems to be an abundance of craziness to go around. Yes, the whole system is crazy, but any mature adult who continues to believe it is at least a bit sanity-challenged as well.

This is not new. Long ago . . .

I had an aunt who was terrified that when she died her husband who had died much much earlier of cancer was going to greet her with several wives in tow. They had a truly wonderful love story and it was heartbreaking to see her worry.

My step grandmother was very worried that when she got to the CK what would await her with the first wife who had died young there? Very, very upsetting for her.

The Mormon Polygamist Celestial Marriage is a very ugly thing they do to women--and men. Some like to think the patriarchal system is a wonderful thing for the men. It's not. Not for real men anyway.

moehoward Wrote:
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> The entire topic is crazy. People actually sit
> around and think about this?

The LDS equivalent of debating "Can God create a boulder so large he can't move it?" Or, "angels dancing on the head of a pin?"

A serious approach from a never-Mo: I've heard board posters sardonically reference, "It will all be worked out in the CK."

For argument's sake, let's grant them that. Has a responsible LDS apostle, theologian, or apologist ever advanced the argument, "Okay, we're trying to make sense of this with our limited, temporal understanding of celestial marriage and family constructs ("limited sight" doctrine), and we can only go (or see) so far there. But we worship an omnipotent, loving celestial God who was once mortal like we are, and knows what we think and feel. With faith in him, and progressive revelation dispensed through our prophets.

"Don't forget, we'll be purged of sin, human weakness, and selfish agenda, and understand the 'Plan of Happiness (salvation)' perfectly and completely. Thus, we proceed on faith that the Celestial Kingdom will be more inclusive and just than we can humanly conceive, and that our celestial selves and family units will be perfectly matched and mated.

"Elohim wouldn't force people into eternal misery because of mistakes made by fragile, earthen vessels. So hold to the rod!"


Now I don't buy into this. But if I were an LDS authority, that's what I'd promulgate. I'd think it would put to rest a lot of fretting and worrying about who's going to wind up with whom.

I'm sure men don't lose sleep worrying about it the way women do.

If I were TBM and my husband died before I did, I'd probably worry that he might hook up with someone else in the hereafter. Why wouldn't he? Worthy Mormon men can be sealed to more than one woman.

The Mormon church creates so much angst, especially for women!

I know a widower who is worried his wife is now with someone else.

If he's TBM temple married, why would he worry? Only men can have multiple partners in the next life. Women can only be sealed to one man.

Of course Joseph Smith sealed himself to the wives of married men he sent far away on missions, so maybe your friend is worried that Joseph or someone else is hooking up with his wife and he will have to share her. Crazy Mormons.

Correct. Priesthood has precedent.

My TBM brother jokes around about not calling his sweetheart from the grave. She’s struggled with weight issues, among other things, so this is probably very upsetting to her.

Well, what if she goes first ?

This actually happens a lot, my neighbor who was in his 90s and in the temple every week, before he died was picking out his plural wives and trying to decide whether to approach them now or later, I think he decided to wait for the next life.

Maca Wrote:
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> This actually happens a lot, my neighbor who was
> in his 90s and in the temple every week, before he
> died was picking out his plural wives and trying
> to decide whether to approach them now or later, I
> think he decided to wait for the next life.

:D

Maca Laca,
Your neighbor's behavior is called stalking, whether it's now or in the after life.

He died before it became BYU-I. He was the bishop of the ward for 9 years and he had picked one of the women in the ward as his FIRST WIFE and he told his actual wife that she would be #2. He did get picked up twice in his 80s for stalking. He owned apartments and they were rented by girls and he became friends with them. He was a sick man.

I can just see the CK now as all we women get to share our husbands. Well, I already do. ha ha ha ha ha ha But with men. Hey, can I pick the men he is a plural husband to? Gays are my best friends.

After reading through this thread, I actually read ALL of D&C Section 132. OMG! What a sleeze-bag old Joe was! Not to mention it’s SO repetitive…just like the BOM. It ALSO qualifies as “Chloroform in print.”

Yeah, he was just a sick, twisted, conniving, narcissistic horndog. It blows my mind that people still take him seriously.

One of the benefits of growing up in a standard Protestant church was that we believed in faith, not 'works', as the means to attain Heaven.

This took away any concern you might have about not being worthy or your reward. But also, I don't recall any discussion at all as to what Heaven might be like, let alone who would be there and how we would all relate to each other. Never any thought about relationships between people, it was all about general proximity to God, and freedom from pain and misery.

Unfortunately I lost my faith before I got old enough to start being concerned about the experience of life after death...

oldpobot Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> One of the benefits of growing up in a standard
> Protestant church was that we believed in faith,
> not 'works', as the means to attain Heaven.

Thank you for this, oldpobot.

Call me dense (because I obviously have indeed been dense about this subject), but I didn't realize this--and I DID go to a whole bunch of different Protestant churches--Baptist, Lutheran, Congregational, First Christian, etc.--when I was growing up because neighbors would take me to their services.

On the other side of the equation, my important (and lasting) religious education as I was growing up was Hindu/Vedanta (from pre-school age through, mainly, elementary school), plus--just as soon as I got to junior high--Judaism because many of the kids in my junior high classes (and increasingly in high school) were Jewish (not just Ashkenazi, but--as turned out to be pivotally important--Sephardi too, of the California Conservative and California Reform varieties).

"Belief" as a replacement for "works" just never made any sense at all to me so the concept never actually penetrated...not really, not until I read your words here.

Thank you!!

No worries Tevai.

Belief is better than works, because you only have to achieve that state once, and are not required to do anything to maintain it. Catholics top it up at Mass each week, while also seeing all their friends and family! And no need to pay 10%.

However, it does leave you fairly high and dry when your rational brain wins out and you admit that you can't face praying to an invisible, inaudible, spiritual entity for the rest of your life.

I still can't get my head around the idea that Mormon widows need to worry about how many new fit young wives their dead husbands have taken out on Kolob, or wherever they 'live'. Very funny if not so sad.

For Christian sects where faith is primary (I would count Catholicism in this number,) it is thought that works are a product of faith. So it's not faith *or* works, but more a question of what comes first.

My Protestant sect believes in salvation by Grace, not works or faith specifically. This could raise some interesting thoughts or discussion.

You present a view that may well be the norm is some versions of Christianity, particularly what might be termed mainline churches. Certainly the belief that salvation comes as a free gift through grace is the position of much of Christianity and that you are not required to constantly "reachieve" it. Positions can vary from, say, Baptists who believe in eternal security (once saved always saved) to others that very definitely preach what is termed a "back sliden" condition. Either way, protestants in general do believe in works but only as the means to demonstrate what I will call spiritual condition rather than as the means to earn that condition in the first place.

Yes that's a pretty good summary of the doctrine that I grew up with in the Methodist faith. We were expected to good works, but we were pretty much guaranteed our spot in Heaven so long as we could say that we believed.

I felt sorry later in life for JWs I knew - the best they had was the 'Hope' - that they were good enough to be counted amongst the limited number (144,000) that made it into Heaven. Talk about pressure.

I also grew up Methodist, and that’s what I remember.

If any of it is for real, what a person says probably doesn't matter a great deal. An omniscient god would know our hearts.

My horoscope says old lovers will come back into my life today.

I hope they’re not calling me from the grave.

My former mother in law was always picking out her secretly sealed to lovers and flaunting them to her husband. No matter how wonderful a man he was, he couldn't hold a candle to Jesus himself (her number one secretly sealed to lover) or to Dieter Uchtdorf (also her secretly sealed to lover). I've heard that Dieter has many secretly sealed to lovers in the mormon church. That's probably why the old codgers at the top demoted him. They couldn't stand the competition. Nobody wants to be the secretly sealed to lover of Bednar.

Devoted Exmo Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Nobody
> wants to be the secretly sealed to lover of
> Bednar.


Maybe another priesthood power broker.

I think you're on to something, maybe?

We'll never second a knowing it will we?

I know I don't want to give it a second thought.

If by some remote chance my two late husbands made it to the Celestial Kinkdom (whoops spelling mistake, but appropriate), then I would happily let some other women have them. However I guarantee no woman would want to keep either of them after a few years.

I love celestial kinkdom. It is the only place with penis and vaginas.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2022 12:06PM by Elder Berry.

I got married in the temple back when we disemboweled ouselves. Lucky we didn’t agree to our own frontal lobotomy. Liposuction would have been ok.

They might add breast augmentation as a reward for keeping covenants.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 04/22/2022 02:41PM by Elder Berry.

Then there's a lot of covenant keeping going on in Utah. Or something...

There's a lot of plastic in Utah. A great place to look for a plastic fantastic lover.

One piercing per ear and all the silicon you want.

I have never comprehended the idea of marrying again if my wife passed. Of course we are in our 50's and we have had a long and great marriage. But the idea of "dating" just makes us both want to upchuck. I would rather stay single and enjoy exercise, friends, good books, and my grandchild. The complications of a new marriage are as unappealing as having my throat slit, or wearing temple garb.

HH =)

So if your husband has to elevate you to godhood, is that permanent, or does your (now dead) god husband just turn you back into an incorporeal spirit?

Mormonism is so wonderfully logically inconsistent :)

No, you just find a man with more priesthood. He can add you to his.

A friend of mine was sealed in the temple to her husband. He died six months later. Her current husband is the father of all her children. She is desperate to be sealed for time and all eternity to the second husband and father of her children. She cannot be unsealed from her first husband and therefore is scared that she cannot be forever with her current husband.

All so stupid.

Why spend time worrying about what the future might hold in heaven? IMO, it is not marriages in the temple that assure us that everything will work out OK.

Please excuse the spelling: "K Say Ra, Say Ra--What ever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, K Say Ra, Say Ra".

----

That being said, (and I may have told you-all this before), after their death, my father came to me in a vision and asked me to fix things up for him, as my mother was ignoring him, and she was surrounded by other men who obviously were interested in her company.

I responded to my father's request that I couldn't "fix" things for him, as she was free to live the life she wanted--and that (as we both could see) other men thought more of her than he had during their life together.

BTW, my father hadn't been faithful to her prior to his death, and had enjoyed the company of one of the women who worked with him...of which my mother was aware at the time (as he came home late every night, tipsy, while she read until he did got home.

I can still hear their dialogue: Him: "Now Gracie...", and her response "Don't you Gracie me...I know who you've been with", etc., etc.

They had seven children during their marriage, two girls, and four boys--four of us whom are still living.

I enjoyed the Doris Day version of the song, and it wasn’t until I learned Spanish that Que será será is the Spanish translation of What will be, will be.

"IMO, it is not marriages in the temple that assure us that everything will work out OK."

Well, many Mormons believe that a sealing takes care of things and why wouldn't they? Mormons try to fix the dead in their temples.

Haha :)

That, EB was the most brilliant comment I've heard on this site.