Posted by:
Gordon B. Stinky
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Date: May 21, 2022 05:58PM
I agree that the ritual is meaningless. So, in theory it ought to be easy to ignore, but it's also a slap in the face to the departed who made their feelings known, and to those who share them.
More than that, it's also an implication that the TBMs know better, or have a more personal relationship with the departed, but is offensive for the same reasons as above, if the departed was decidedly not Mormon. Where the relationship is essentially the same (sibling/parent/child/etc), it's sort of "ok"--each has their right to do what they like re. the lost relationship--but it's particularly egregious in the case of a spouse (as in my case). The TBM's certainly don't have any insight into my late wife's thoughts and feelings, and certainly not a better relationship with her than I did. In fact, in spite of their public "mourning" when she passed, and claiming they would miss her, they had actually been shunning her (and all of us) for several years before she passed.
The other "double-bind" sort of thing is that there's really nothing that can be done about it. If you make a big deal, then you look like a jerk. Typical Mormon dynamics.
Anyway, all that said, I have no idea whether or not they've "baptized" my mom, dad or brother, let alone my wife, although given their penchant for the temple, and this sort of stuff, I'd bet dollars to donuts that they have. Re. my late wife, my understanding is that they'd have to get permission from someone who's more closely related, and I don't think they could (her family in Jakarta are staunchly Christian and "anti-mormon"). But I would not put bending the rules past my brother and his clan, and understand that bending the rules is the norm anyway.
I just dread the day one of them claims to have seen her in the temple...