I think that I was. In fact I think Mormonism is probably one of the most of not the most FOMO religion in existence and possibly in human history.

Nevermind missing out on 72 virgins, not getting to sing praises to Jesus forever, or nirvana, its missing out on becoming God, having billions of wives, ruling untold numbers of humans within galaxies of your own making.

I guess at the end of my teenager rebelling instead of just continuing the angry self destruction I didn't want to miss out on being able to succeed at Mormonism. It took a little while and the hardache of reproducing more Mormons and the heart wrenching pain of knowing the founder of Mormonism abused teenagers and being suicidally depressed to realize that I had no fear of missing out on the dreams and schemes of Mormonism.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/19/2022 06:01PM by Elder Berry.

but I'm an older lady and my brain isn't telling me what fomo is.

Fear of missing out

Thanks. I just heard this from Russell Nelson's young adult fireside.

I heard an almost 100 year old man say it and had to figure it out.

Like I didn't get married until I was 27 and all my friends were married young? My marriage didn't work out and I only had 2 kids?

I see all the stuff on fb about the mormons who were the bad kids and now they have these sweet little mormon lives and I'm like WTH? I just talked to my therapist today and we talked about this idea in terms of who got married when, etc. He said, "Now you were very independent, right?" "Had a good job, earned good money, didn't act like you needed a man?" He knows me well. Without an exmo therapist, I don't know how I would have made it to 64 without completely losing my mind. I did lose most of it.

I realized somewhere along the way how boring my life would have been if it had been all mormon. Sometimes it gets a little too exciting for my tastes.

Yes, I think so. It was surprising how quickly that turned around and disappeared once I knew it wasn’t true. I expected to feel a lot more grief than I actually did, and I’ve never really missed it.

I’m probably thinking more about the fear of not doing enough, the mormon hamster wheel /carrot on a stick. But certainly there was anxiety about not missing out. For me it was being in YSA and fearing that if I didn’t attend every singles social event I’d never meet my ‘eternal companion’. It was quite exhausting and a very anxious time. I didn’t anyway, as it happened. The cult/culture of mormonism perpetuates fomo because if you don’t do enough, you might not make it. The reality, of course, being the complete opposite. Sometimes doing nothing and realising you are worthy of good things regardless of what or how much you do is beneficial. Plus, there are no rewards in mormonism even if you are deemed worthy, at least not in my experience.

When I was a TBM I accidentally said, in defence of someone who left the church “maybe he feels he has done his time”. It shut down gossip, but I realised I’d just made a reference to prison. Awkward.

I guess you were not really TBM?

Well, I felt I was, but I hadn’t realised how exhausting the whole thing was feeling
Edit: well that’s got me thinking. How are we defining TBM?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/20/2022 09:21PM by Third of Five.

I was never truly TBM. I know redundant.

TBM in my opinion is all in, follow the prophet he knows the way believer.

I know many people who are beyond TBM including my own sister. She is a polygamist. I don't think you are TBM and one of those. I guess I'm using a corporate definition. Like a MLM believer.

It’s interesting to look back at that time. I started questioning things and started researching stuff for about a year before I finally lost my testimony and went inactive. But up until then I did believe in it completely. My experience in church gradually became so negative that eventually I had no other reason to go, other than believing in it.

But I’m guessing I had some cognitive dissonance going on though. I grew to disliking the behaviour of members, and as an introvert who likes privacy, I was never okay with all the boundary violations, which meant I “rebelled” in some instances. Just as one example, ignoring messages on my answerphone demanding/ordering me (not asking) to return calls with unnecessary stuff related to callings when I was super busy with the necessities of life.

I surprised myself by comparing mormonism to being in prison. Should have been a wake up call, but I shelved it for later. As we know, the mormon church teaches that if you’re not happy, it’s your own fault. That manipulation is quite handy for them.

Edit: I think I know what you mean. I shelved stuff that I wasn’t okay with, as opposed to being “all-in” and defending problematic stuff. I used to joke about polygamy by saying I’d never allow my husband to be shared in the afterlife. Somehow I actually believed I’d be able to stop it by putting my foot down. I don’t quite understand the way I used to think(!)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/25/2022 06:59PM by Third of Five.

I understand your thinking. Mormon women who can't tolerate husband sharing have very understandable responses.

As a husband believer I detested polygamy. Sex with multiple partners is understandable but in my overly idealistic mind I only saw myself a real partner with one person.

Mormonism undermines this one to one idealistic coupling of humans. I guess God didn't like being upstaged by on primary relationship.

The older I got in Mormonism the more God intruded.

Being an eternally horny God sounded good to me but I never believed the Mormon church had the golden ticket to get me there. I just hung around to keep family happy.

I wasn't a FOMOMO. I was a MONOMOMO

What's that?

A “Mormon no more” Mormon.

I guess a little too obscure.

Cool. Thanks.

been called a "MOFO." Does that count?

LOL

Missing out on what? Never could figure out what Mormons thought they just had to have or be part of.

I'm not a FOMO. I'm a foamer.

Oh yeah, the fear of missing out was the #1 motivator for my parents and therefore me. I eventually realized I wasn't at all interested in the things I would be missing out on if I wasn't a super good Mormon. I was in my late 20s, maybe even 30, when Mom, distressed I was still single, asked tearfully, "But don't you want to marry a good LDS girl in the temple, have a family and be together in the Celestial Kingdom?" I said nothing but was thinking, "No."

I was always so sure that everybody else was seeing angels and having visions and feeling the promptings of The Spirit to tell them that God approved of them and their every decision in life. So yes, it was all FOMO for me also. I knew it was because I was so sinful and polluted.

All I remember is a bunch of cheesy events with the same food. Then a few devout couples would walk around telling everybody "Isn't this fun?"

Families can be together forever. If that isn't the definition of fear of missing out and a recipe for family rivalry I don't know what is.