Many returned missionaries here have written about the pain, disgust and outright miserableness of their missions. Let me say first off that I believe every word of what they say.

However, not every missionary has a rotten time of it. To this day, I can say that my missionary experience was glorious. I had a grande ol' time and wouldn't undo that on a bet. Further, it paid dividends afterward by giving me a leg up due to language skills and evident sales capabilities. I continue to speak fluent Dutch and love the Netherlands.

Almost to a man, all of the companions I had still have like feelings about their missions. I worked for six months as Mission Secretary and had to process every missionary going home. I can only remember 2 that went home because they hated it. Those two were sent to state-side missions that had GA's as Mission Presidents. Dunno if that changed anything, they may have gone completely home shortly after the transfers.

Albeit most of my former companions are TBM, they wouldn't trade that experience for the world. We all had a blast in the Netherlands. We laughed, made fun of our plights, and two of my ex-companions are still very close to me regardless of our differing viewpoints on the church. We did everything fun we could think of short of breaking any major rules. (I had a stash of cassettes loaded with forbidden music! We once hopped a train and not only left the district, we left the country! LOL We took the "hot train" to Germany to see a companion's next door neighbor [anyone remember the point guard at BYU, Scott Runia, during the Ainge era? Well, it was his older brother, Elder Runia (LOL, can't remember his first name)]).

Now, I recognize that the Netherlands isn't Peru or Haiti or some other 3rd World Country rife with disease and other challenges, so that distinction goes without saying. Regardless, some of us had a blast and I'd wager we're the majority.

In summary, I recognize that some on missions hated every drop of it, but there are also some that enjoyed it.

Just sayin'...

Ron

I'm not sure about the majority of posters enjoying them. But those who have, have been vocal. And they've been pretty accepting that those of us who didn't didn't. And vice versa. Maybe a poll is in order?

I didn't mean to imply that the majority of "RfM posters" enjoyed their missions. I meant missionaries in general. One would think that RfM posters would be biased to state that they hated it given the current circumstance. But what do I know?

Ron

Here we can be as honest as possible.

In the church, you are NOT allowed to talk badly about your mission, so those that had a rough time, or hated it but stay in the church are silent.

i think that is my brother's experience. 2 years in Rustov Russia and not a single letter home, not a single word about his mission. you can't get him to even discuss it, no, nadda, zip. it's like he's pretending it didnt even happen.

I served my two years in Nevada Las Vegas mission so it wasn't bad at all. No language to learn, tons of member families to work with, had dinner appts all the time and we had fun on our p-days. Half of my companions worked like they believed in it, the other half were like me and were realistic in our approach to the work and stat craziness. My mission president was a nice guy and most of the AP's weren't nazi's. It was a great learning experience overall.

What's most amazing to me is that I had the most success with gaining converts with companions who were not keeping the mission rules. I think it was due to the fact that we were not depressed, worked to the bone dead tired all the time and 'uptight' from keeping the rules constantly. We came across as being more normal well adjusted happy missionaires to have in the ward/homes of the member families.

Probably those who hated their missions and have left the church are most likely to post here, so we have a natural tilt there. It appears that an American sent to share the deprivations and diseases of a third world country is obviously not going to be thrilled about it and one who goes to a European vacation site is going to have an easier go of it, regardless of success in terms of baptisms.

The other factor seems to be companions. Living 24/7 with Elder Fuckwit, as RaptorJ so memorably put it, has got to be prelude to a nervous breakdown.

It does seem to be an anthropologist's dream akin to a "coming of age" ritual by which a young Mormon male gains mana (respect) and with his juju enhanced, has earned a ten cow wife.

Yeah, barbaric test, forced to repeat the Plan of Salvation 8,000 times and the young man's selection of high quality females is tied into it.


Anagrammy

I have lived 4 years of my life in third world countries. I am still thrilled by the prospect, and I'm American.

Just sayin'

There has to be some cog dis at work too. For instance my dad says that he thinks of his mission quite fondly, but the story he tells most is about having all four of his wisdom teeth out at a Chilean dentist where there was no pain killer/numbing, he had to hold a bowl under his chin to catch the blood as the dentist worked, and all four wisdom teeth had the complex spread roots, and it took a while to dig them out.

So some "loved it!" stories are a result of the pressure to go. Taught that it would be a great experience, spent two years of life on it, well it must have been worth it, right?

My father NEVER talked about his mission except for a few very rare and very brief experiences.

Of course he expected us to go, but his silence is very interesting.

Catnip, I was totally thinking about something similar about 'Nam when reading an earlier comment.

I think that the Netherlands would indeed be a very pleasant place to serve, as those things go. Did you have much luck with the Dutch? They are such a liberal, accepting, carefree lot that I can't imagine you got very far with them.

Not much. Baptisms per missionary per mission were under 2. membership has hovered between 8,000 - 9,000 for years with average sacrament attendance around 2,500. Through the early 1900's, Dutch converts (as well as most all other European countries) were instructed to emigrate to the US when and where possible.

I thoroughly enjoyed my 2 1/2 years in the old French East Mission . . . an extended vacation in a wonderful country marred only by the requirement to do some missionary work and endure occasional harassment from the MP and other authority figures. Companions and I baptized a total of 22 people (which was a phenomenal number for the mission) all the while not taking any of it too seriously. As far as I know, none of the folks we baptized are still active.

When were you there? I was 1962 - 64. I'm OLD!

69 to 71. Not so much younger than you. Email if you want to talk more - taylorken@aol.com

PapaKen

That makes sense to me. If I didn't buy into the whole "blessings are dependant on exact obedience" stuff I probably would have had more fun. Also if I did have stickler zone leaders and mission presidents.

I can't imagine how much different my mission would have been if I had taken trains out of my area, or listened to fun music, or done anything but spend every minute trying to find people to teach (mostly because of mission mandate). Even my P-Days were spent doing a) laundry, b) shopping, c) catching up on naps I wasn't allowed to take any other day, d) writing letters (this sometime took a really long time, doing it by hand. I tried to get at least 3 in each week), e) cleaning the entire apartment, again by mission mandate. I didn't have time to do anything fun, even on P-Days.

It took me until near the end of my mission to realize that the rebellious missionaries were having the most baptismal success. There was one infamous missionary, whom everyone knew the mission president hated with a passion. This kid would go swimming with member teenage girls, watch PG-13 movies, go to sports events, and refuse to do worthless tracting. He also led the mission in baptisms. The president couldn't stand the guy. Seeing that changed my life.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/13/2011 11:58AM by kimball.

In retrospect, and contrary to what they told us, I actually feel bad about NOT doing stuff that was against the rules.... stuff that was unique to the area and much more interesting. What would/could they have done? And we certainly could have used the break... and it certainly would have been better if we had less guilt trips and micro-management imposed on us.

And it was on my mission that I learned that obedience DOESN'T cause the blessings of heaven to pour down; it's the people skills of the respective person/missionary that produces the positive results.

Learning experience? Yes, I suppose, but it ranks up there with cutting off an arm so you can appreciate the other one....

the most successful missionaries in my mission had girlfriends, watched movies, looked up porn on pday, looked up porn any other day, and so much more. they were missionaries who worked under the prior MP or were trained by missionaries from the prior MP. The same MP who got his mission to baptize over 600 people the month before he was released.

The new MP's obsession with obedience created a new generation of missionaries who, uh oh, weren't baptizing as much as before. Strange... In any zone you'd have the high-performers who tended to be the "apostates" and the duds who tended to be the rules zealots. Their excuse for not baptizing as many? "Well, of course we aren't baptizing the same quantity, our baptisms are higher quality" Even the MP would use this excuse, bringing in high quality recent converts to speak at conferences as anecdotal evidence.

So one day during an office powwow, the MP decided to prove this theory. Missionaries were instructed to fill out a survey on members that had been baptized in their area under both MPs. The survey was a series of check boxes on activity. First the bishop had to answer if they were active or not. Then the missionary had to research their church progression. Priesthood levels up to temple endowment. As his secretary I had the pleasure of nagging every zone leader each week to get their surveys filled out. It got to the point that we withheld their zone's mail until they finished the survey. Surveys magically appeared the following week. You don't mess with missionaries' mail.

After crunching the numbers I came to the conclusion that the prior MP's baptisms had a higher rate of activity than the current MP's. Higher rate of Melchizedek priesthood. higher rate of endowed among those that had been members for at least a year (the survey was done midway into the MP's time). I didnt even have to adjust to account for the fact that the current MP's baptisms had a higher likelihood of being active given that most were baptized within a couple months of the survey.

I can still see the look on his face when I presented him with my findings. Of course the results were never mentioned the following zone conferences.

the day before i was transferred i saved a copy of the mission database on a cd but for the life of me i cannot find it. it recorded every companionship, transfer, teaching numbers, baptism names, and a ton more. if i could just see the missionaries' names and who they were with at certain times i would be able to remember so many good scandals. maybe if everyone here fasts for me i'll find it somewhere...

ps. i owe a lot to my mission. i would not be where i am today professionally if it werent for key things i learned on my mission. funny thing is most of those skills came while i was in the office and barely doing any teaching, putting meat back on my frail body with mcdonalds and dominoes pizza while mastering excel, access, and SQL, and staying late at the office to "work" (play starcraft with the finance secretary over the office's LAN).



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/14/2011 04:26AM by batidaforte.

I would've enjoyed my mission MUCH, MUCH more had I gone foreign and had the chance to learn a different language and experience a different culture.

There are positives to a mission, but for me the negatives heavily outweighed them. Tracting all day everyday with abysmal results eventually did me in.

Not the only factor. But the world has wised up about Mormonism, thanks largely to the Internet. Nevermos are NOT interested.

And the church has replaced the fun aspects of the church with duty and drudgery. It has replaced the notion of a young man's feeling “called” to serve a mission with his being practically commanded to do it by church leaders, thereby removing any element of a “call" or choice.

It's pretty tough to sell a joyless church.

Well, I'm interested, but not in the way they want me to be. ;)

Ron, are you BIC or convert?

BIC young men are pressured from nursery age to go on a mission, whether they want to or not, it is a priesthood responsibility. Some or many do not want to got, but they feel they have to. If you're a convert you have more freedom of choice here, you may even have to convice the non-member parents that it's a good idea and if at someone point it's bad, the parents would be glad to welcome the person back home.

Like Anagrammy noted above some may end up in a bad place with nazi companions and a crazy mission president and if this ym or yw has been raised to believe, obey and unquestion leaders and rules, this person may end up 'damaged'. But someone with a fun personality, not crazy about rules and in a great part of the world may end up really having the best two years of his life.

I used to believe that the mission field was the best place to be, I would have served a mission myself if I had converted earlier. Now I am not so sure, after what I learn from RM in the exmormon community and others who are still active I tend to believe that the majority did not enjoy their missions. I think you were part of the lucky minority. Even Pres Hinckley hated his mission and wanted to return home, but his father told him to stay. Someone mentioned members of the Church know to speak only the good and forget the bad, kind of like a testimony 'fake it 'till you make it' deal.

I have a friend who served a mission and constantly speaks of the great experience it was, I've asked her and her husband more details about their missions, and I'm surprised to hear the closer to reality stories they tell me in private, of course.

I had YM tell me "the mission is not what you think it is, and that's all I can tell you", this was the Bishop's son. His words come to mind everytime I read someone post their mission experience here.

I'm glad you enjoy yours,

D

Convert. All of my companions were BIC, as best I can recall.

I can believe that several other people had perfectly happy missions. Looking back, I'm sure my memories are tainted now somewhat by knowing that I basically spent two years selling a lie.

But I don't think that's all of it. I remember being unhappy and struggling my whole mission. The bright spots have nothing to do with the church... Visiting historical locations, shopping in the open air markets, learning to cook different types of food...

I went because I felt it was expected of me. I didn't think I had a choice if I was going to "fulfill" my destiny. I can't say I regret going on my mission, but like they say about hindsight, if I knew then what I know now, there's no way I would have gone but, again, that's hindsight.

Eventually, I'm sure I'll get over it. I did gain confidence and it got me to look at my family in a more subjective light, which are both good things. And, I do hope to go back to Korea and see the things that I didn't get a chance to... Who knows what will happen in the future.

I can say that there were several other missionaries that seemed perfectly happy... Maybe they look back fondly on the whole thing, I can't say that I can...

It's difficult to summarize such a long experience as being either enjoyable or miserable. I'd say my mission was both. I met some amazing people, primarily other missionaries, with whom I'd sit and philosphize for hours at a time. We'd have lively discussions and intense arguments about church history, the literalness of scriptures, the nature of God and Man and whatever else came up. That was great. In one zone we'd all get together on P-Day evening to play Capture the Flag on the beach (a big no-no, to be sure, but that was hands-down my favorite two months of missionary life). One comp and I even saved up our petrol allowance to drive hundreds of miles into the bush to hike a mountain. That was amazing.

Then there was all the politics, proselytizing-by-numbers, micromanagement, false accusations, banishment to backwater towns hundreds of miles from other missionaries, tracting in the heat of an Aussie summer (it became so hot, at times, that our shoes would stick to the pavement), constant rejection, a violent Tongan companion, and mission presidents who either distrusted or downright loathed me for no good reason.

For me it was both good and bad. I'm grateful for all my mission taught me, although I'm completely disinterested in doing anything like it again.

homo sapiens maximus Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> For me it was both good and bad. I'm grateful for
> all my mission taught me, although I'm completely
> disinterested in doing anything like it again.

Wow, this was spot on. Aside from one or two details in your full post (violent companion and mission president relationship), this is pretty much how I feel. It was both bad and good. I went because I believed wholeheartedly in the restored gospel. I struggled and struggled and it never crossed my mind that it could be anything other than the fact that I was somehow unworthy.

On the other hand, I met some great people. Learned a language I still use. Learned to tolerate and accept those who believe differently from me, saw some amazing sites, lived in a foreign country, learned responsibility and so on.

I never served, but my two youngest brothers did. One in Texas and the other in San Diego. Both of them enjoyed it, even years later they said they had a good time (aside from the normal complaints I think anyone has in that situation - calls home, food, etc...).

Mission was ok. A little cold for a Cali boy. All in all it was alright and a good learning experience. Worst thing about my mission was my companions. Some were cool. Some were dicks. My Dad didn't send much money. Just enough to survive. It would have been more fun if I could go out dining and see more of the country. The people were nice, but you got to see their bad side a bit being a mormon missionary. I went up there later on a vacation and had a great time - nightclubs, dining, sightseeing. Met up with one of my old converts and had a beer with him. He was no longer a member, but I was still a pretty good mormon at the time. I would like to go again. All in all I'd probably do it again except I would have gone on a date with this cute girl I met in our area. My companion wanted me to do it (a cool companion) but I chickened out.

Congrats Ron on getting to go to an exotic mission. However for the future Morgbots the opportunities for exotic missions is going down. Just look at all the mission closings in Europe/Japan/Pacific and where the missions are getting created and you'll see what I mean. Instead what the church is doing is opening up more missions in the central areas of Zion where the mishies are getting numbers by hunting down kids that are 8 years 11 months old whose parents are inactive and then they get them dunked after their 9th birthday when they'll be technically a "convert baptism".

You got to serve in the Netherlands Amsterdam Mission and learn Dutch in an era where you had no idea about Facebook, Twitter and mobile phones.

Junior (who lives in Flagstaff, Arizona) gets to now go to the New Mexico Farmington Mission and learn New Mexican and give up his Facebook, Twitter, and mobile phone for 2 years. The big thrill of his mission as far as travel is concerned will be going to the MTC in Provo, Utah for 3 weeks.

Another thing about the future is that the ranks of exmo(s) is going to die down. As our former religion dies down in numbers then so will the numbers of exmo(s). If anything I'm predicting that the day may come within my children's lifetime when there are more fundie Mormons than mainline LDS Mormons. The mainline LDS FP/12 won't like that ;)

I loved my mission. I did not let following the rules consume me. I also met some great people. My mission president was awesome. Gave us permission as ZL's to listen to whatever music we wanted, so long as both comps agreed on it. I learned a lot about the culture, and made some good friends. I would not do it again though. Mormons look at me crazy when they learned that an Atheist loved his Mormon mission.

I actually enjoyed most of my mission to Australia. The friends I made is what made it worthwhile. I had a reasonable MP and good ZLs and APs. I would have to say that I matured in those two years. I was exposed to an array of personalities, Utah hicks, overzealous BIC boys that aspired to high callings, crazy Aussies, depressed 19 yrs olds.... the list goes on. I met thousands of Aussies and for a few minutes on a door step, I was given a quick glance into their lives. Where else could a young man get that experience from? I never was much of a rule breaker, except the time we made a batch of root beer (which Australia did not have in the 1970's) and I started selling it for 80 cents a bottle. The MP told me to stop. I did learn how to "sell" on my mission and have been using what I learned to this day.

I Loved my 2 years in a 3rd world country. Yeah i fell ill a couple times, but the experience was awsome. If I went stateside I Probally would have lasted about 6 months. As I stated a couple of times before, it was more like a six month mission followed by an 18 month vacation. THANK GOD for local companions!

For those who were sent to 3rd World countries with poor/absent water quality, little/no access to medical care and returned to the USA seriously chronically sick and underweight, well, more bad news.

Almost all of the anti-protazoal medications formerly available in the U.S. are no longer available. If the missionary contracts a disease they might have access to medication, but likely it is an adulterated drug, ineffective and the parasites are resistant to it.

Yo Mo soccer moms who carry topical anti-infective gels in the van, good for you. That scrape may not become infected. Your adult child missionary could possibly die or live in a weak, sickly state for the rest of his life. But, hey, you'll still brag about him no matter how damaged he is upon his return, physically and emotionally. You really don't want to think about that part, mom, do you? Only about the glory "my child the RM," not (never a squeak, or a whisper, he or she will never be the same. I sent a healthy child there (and gloried about it and absorbed all the kudos), got a very, very ill child back (and continue to swell with pride). And his health is gone forever.

On behalf of those who served in Peru, Argentina, South America and general, hey, thanks mom. You, as usual, were more concerned about YOUR IMAGE than your child's life and health.

Well, I can't say I hated my mission. There were highs and lows. I was lucky enough to be in a Scandinavian country. Cold, though.

Really damned cold.

But, the summers were nice.

Not much luck converting anyone.

Few dinners with the members, there weren't that many.

I just remember ringing doorbells, being rejected, and wobbling back down the street, with these Russian looking hats on. We were not allowed bikes, nor cars, so, off to the bus for us.

I had a few comps that were iffy. Hi guys, you know who you were! Most were good guys.

As most of you know, I'm a nevermo Brit living in France. I first came to France at the age of 21 in 1981 (for my studies). Then came back for good in 1983 (for love, among other things, and yes, we're still together ;-)

I also currently have a son of 23 doing a business internship in... Peru, loving the place and, from what I understand, likely to set up home there at the end of it.

Sure, it can be hard at the start and it's not everyone's cup of tea, but a year or two away from home or in a foreign country can be really exciting once you find your way.

France is a good example: once you get over the surprisingly large cultural differences, it's a fascinating place to have a fantastic time, whatever your interests, but selling Mormonism in France is pretty much a no-no, because most people are rather suspicious of religion for simple reasons stemming from the country's history, and they're even more suspicious of wacky religions!

If you're a missionary, you're also unable to take advantages of many of the things which make a stay in France such fun (think wine, women and song, not hymns).

In any foreign setting, if you're a missionary, you're also deprived of another major source of interest: finding out how differently people think and live outside your own country, because you arrive there (at 19-21) with a "lesson" for them. This obviously makes "social exploration" more difficult!

I feel very strong sympathy for all you former missionaries because of what you were forced to miss out on due to Mormon complication.

I hope you at least came away from it with a foreign language.

If you did, a return visit to your Mission country might be fun...

Love to all

Tom

I was in Japan and have noticed a pretty high percentage of RMs from there who go inactive. Of the 10 mishies who were with me and entered the MTC I think about half are no longer active. One I have stayed in touch with resigned a couple of years ago.

I thought it was a difficult mission. Others really liked it, I was really sick of it and very homesick by the end. It took me a few years before I wanted to even think about anything Japanese. Now I have better feelings and have an interest in Japan, but for years and years I just tried to forget about it.

Back in my day the the general perception was that some missions were plum assignments and some were the dregs. There were differing opinions, though, about what it meant to be called to good or bad missions.

One school of thought maintained that the best people got assigned to the best missions as reward for their righteousness.

An opposing school of thought was that the most spiritually valiant and hard working missionaries got sent to the hardest missions, while those with weak testimonies got sent to places where it was relatively easy to baptize, so the positive experiences could build their testimonies. Oh, and missionaries with the right connections also got the easy missions.

Since I more or less intentionally failed the language proficiency test they gave back in my time, I was assigned to an English-speaking mission. So I felt like I was being punished for being a slothful underachiever, even though I got my wish of not having to learn a new language.

Further evidence I was being punished was I was being sent to where it was hellishly cold. Aw man, I knew I shouldn't have masturbated so much or touched a boobie that one time.

And it was a mission where even the highest baptizing missionaries seldom broke out of the single digits.

But once there, I learned were were among the most elect, chosen for a particularly difficult job, one that weaker missionaries couldn't handle. At least that's what we told each other. Our MP never missed an opportunity to tell us how worthless we were.

I went on a mission to Italy back in the day of only one mission there. We were thinly scattered and the rules were not tough, anyhow. But being thinly scattered meant that the MP couldn't interfere that much. I did have one very bad district leader who thought he was God's gift, but we've all had at least one of those. I had a good time and learned a lot. It was a gentler day for missionaries, and a lot more rewarding for a young man or woman. Of course, in the end one can only speak for one's particular mission. But I had a series of good comps, at least one of which became famous, and a good time was had (with reservations) by all.