Volunteer in your community. A great way to meet people, do something constructive and often you meet people that are good people and care about others. Join a community sports team. Take a class in something you are interested in. Cooking, auto, woodworking, computer skills, see what your community center has to offer.
I never really considered the church part of my community. Most my real friends were non-members. I just put up with the church thing to not disappoint family. It’s easy to make friends outside of the church social click. Just be friendly and outgoing. You have to make friends and if you are the type of person people like to hang around you will find a couple.
I just started doing things I enjoyed and being around people I enjoyed. Some that I had things in common with and others that brought new to my life because I had nothing in common, but, there was something there;something fascinating.
Flying by the seat of your pants is usually how you get really lofty. That was easier, as I said earlier, in the 70's before offending someone became a crime worthy of incarceration.
I went to the church because I thought I had to. At this point, 4 of my 5 siblings are out. My oldest sister just left. My younger brother is disabled and the church seems to work for him. The mormons are pretty good to him. He has a lot of childhood friends who still watch out for him and take care of him. Here my mother was so concerned about what would happen when she died. He has done amazingly well in the 14 years since she died.
My siblings, my "husband," a few of his ex-boyfriends. I have a lot of people I deal with daily who are exmormons. My son likes to talk about it the most and I took him out when he was 8. BUT his twin sister went back and he so hates the mormons as has caused problems between them. I've never needed a lot of people around me, so this is enough. Otherwise, I live AMONGST the mormons on every side. Most of the recent bishops lived very near to me, like next door, 2 doors down, on the other side next door, 2 doors down. I don't know how they all end up being my neighbors.
Finding things you enjoy and can help in the community.
I helped start the soccer association in our city nearly 30 years ago as were leaving Mormonism. There were no girls teams. As a founding member of the soccer board, we created the first community girls teams and I coached a U12 girls team of which my daughter was a part. This group of girls stayed together, with me as coach, all the way up to the first year of college. I have been to their weddings and now see their children and spouses around town. A fellow coach has become a life time friend.
Music. I stupidly gave it up due to the demands of the cult. Now I play in numerous groups and get called on to play 4 or more musicals a year. I have had to turn down requests lately to play as I am getting too busy. It is a great way to meet new people. It does not have to be music, almost any art becomes a wonderful opportunity to find community.
You just have to get out there. There are few people more introverted than me. Push yourself a bit into some discomfort, if necessary, to make a new community.
Eric K Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I helped start the soccer association in our city > nearly 30 years ago as were leaving Mormonism. > There were no girls teams. As a founding member > of the soccer board, we created the first > community girls teams and I coached a U12 girls > team of which my daughter was a part. This group > of girls stayed together, with me as coach, all > the way up to the first year of college. I have > been to their weddings and now see their children > and spouses around town. A fellow coach has > become a life time friend.
Love this--and wholeheartedly agree.
I've coached kids sports, girls and boys, for years. I used to tell people that my new religion was sports and my chapel the fields of the local leagues, for the values taught to children in such venues are much closer to real religion than those of religion itself. And yes, the friendships with children and with fellow coaches last for a very, very long time.
I'm not a big investor, but I go to crypto meetups. I've met a few people that are like-minded when it comes to personal freedom, politics, and health.
One of the guys formed an online workout accountability group. That's been a great way to build rapport, community, and camaraderie.
98% of my friends are non Mormon and the other 2% are inactive so I still have coffee with the same people...same beer crowd too. And not many Mormon hot rodders either...my other passion