I thought my dad had unfriended me on facebook, so I looked on his page. I noticed that in his interests that third and last on his list is "patriarching", not "watching my children grow up and have families", "enjoying my grandchildren", "being with my family" etc. Very telling.

When he found out that I knew he had unfriended me he said it was because it was not "productive" to have 3rd parties join into our religious debates. (I am interpreting that as he finds it threatening to have a debate with people who he doesn't feel that he has authority over.)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2010 04:38PM by persephene.

You are interpreting correctly. Sad that a man could be that way. He is into power. Remember there are many men who can substitute as a Dad and they would accept you for who you are and not have conditions attached. So sorry that your Dad is an A__.

Somebody should remind dad that the D&C says in it somewhere that those who exercise unrighteous dominion over others lose their priesthood.

>>It means ruling over everybody else just because he's an old guy. How fun for the rest of us!<<

Well said!

Maybe you could remind him that the truth stands on its own and only lies want to hide in the shadows?

Or, maybe you can just ignore him.

Sorry about your Dad. I have one that's an arrogant piece of work too -- he's finally mellowing in his old age but it took about 15 years of me not really speaking to him (not refusing to speak to him, just not seeking him out) and the suicide of my younger sister to finally get it through to him that his nasty behavior isn't going to be tolerated by everyone.

If I were you, I'd block him.

He needs to be ignored for a very long time.
He gets too much attention for being a jerk.

I never heard of such a thing.
Is he trying to say he's the patriarch of his family (kids and grand kids) and he's the only one to give his opinion as it's the only valid one?
Sounds like it's his way or the highway.

That's insane. If he doesn't want to engage in debates, than he should just not comment on your posts that express opinions differing from his. If you were the one beginning debates on his posts, he should have asked you to refrain. Blocking was like electronic shunning, meant to send you a message about your views. I'd block him, in case he decided to change his mind, and I probably would not be ably to treat him any better than icily. That's just wrong.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/31/2010 05:48PM by maria.

Boy, seeing adults act like 15 years olds on face book is so telling about the maturity level of people.

I agree, block him and give him no information on your life.

I would unfriend him in real life.

As in "a discussion involving opposing viewpoints" ? Seems to me you're just what his little "religious debates" need! An opposing viewpoint!

Sounds like his purpose on Facebook is to engage in religious debates, but only with people who pretty much think the same. Not much of a debate there. Block him and be sure he knows you did.

That's just asking for it.

So, who usually started the debates: you, your friends, or your dad? I can see why he'd be uncomfortable with others joining in, especially if he wasn't the instigator.

Don't post. It's that simple. Although I do get a kick that he essentially doesn't want to be exposed to any other points of view.

He's acting like he's 15.

1. I posted some of my views and he argues with them. I didn't comment on anything on his facebook.

2. I'm not going to block him or unfriend him in real life. I'm not looking for a father figure. I don't seek him out. I really don't care. I'm over it.

3. He's not going to change. If I argue or ignore him, it doesn't matter. And like I said I'm over it.

Family or cult, which comes first? I'm sorry you had that happen to you. Of course, his explanation is lame because if he didn't want third parties becoming involved in religious discussions then why doesn't he simply not engage in them. It takes two to tangle. And why is he so worried about third parties anyway? I think he's more concerned about losing arguments and being shown that he's wrong and not just by you. So, that's the real priority he's showing: winning arguments are more important than family relationships.

a little painful over the years, but it will be better for you in the long run. (((HUGS)))

Funny how quick Mormons are to de-friend when they keep ending up on the losing end of debates.

I'm sorry your dad's a prick. Sounds like he and my dad would understand each other. A few years ago, my dad helped my little brother do a school project talking about our family values. What was #1, love? Nope, patriarchal order. :0)

And there are no debates or discussions about Mormonism. It's a social network and those that I know, use it that way.
And that's the way I think it was meant to function.

I like the way you are handling the situation, persephene!
At first I suggested you block your father, but I think you have a better idea. Don't play his game. :-)

Thank you so much for helping me to understand my place in your life. As a third party, I understand that our family must also be the third party while you and your church are the first and second. Honestly, I am pleased to know that you still lump me in with the rest of the intruders (mom and siblings) rather than dismiss me outright.

I want you to know that since childhood, I have always associated your example with how true the church was.

because of their rude and disrespectful treatment of me on FB. Religion can turn people into jerks.
There finally came a "last straw", and I just unfriended them all.

I got the same crap from my DL. First she went on face book and said really rude things about me. I was very hurt,but mostly mad. Then she unfriended me. And blocked me looking at her blog. She is also teaching her kids to be rude to me. and DS,because of the dynamics in the home,goes along with it. Haven't spoken to him in 5 months. I'll just mention a few things DH and I have done for them.1)gave them $15,000 to get into their home.2)Paid for them to fly out to visit(But my home is off limits now)3)Sent them money about a dozen times to help with bills.4)Sent them $400. when they went to Disneyland. Plus I went to Michaels and got all kind of crafts etc for the kids to do on the way down. 5)I went to the birth of baby #1 and stayed for a week to help-with baby#2 she was on bed rest and I flew out to take care of baby#1.6)Have given them more gifts than I can count. I was sending the kids packages at least once a month.etc.etc.etc. So,yea I can see why she hates me.....

By modeling that behavior -- they see their Dad being rude to Aunt BadGirl, so they think it's OK for THEM to speak to me that way too.
I had to nip it in the bud.

Now they want to be friends on Facebook, so I send them this little ditty:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7MuwPlOiNQ

I also subscribe to as many not-so-friendly-to-mormons groups as I can. Most seem to get the hint fairly quickly.

Timothy