Roy G Biv
Date: September 19, 2022 05:32PM
A mormon cattle dog would go around the neighborhood early on Sunday morning running and barking, rounding up all the lazy mormons that aren't getting ready for church....and get them to the church on time.....well at least mormon standard time.
It would be able to sniff out members that engage in self gratification and "point" at them when the bishop walks by.
It would nip the heels of any priest that dared to make a mistake while offering the sacrament prayer.
It would lay outside the building under the "visitors welcome" sign and growl and bark suspiciously at any non-mormon that tried to enter the building.
It would stand by and protect any bishop, scoutmaster, etc., accused of abusing children.
Everyday it would poop on the doorsteps of all those that didn't pay a full tithe that month until they paid in full.
Its fleas would be missionaries, carrying the gospel, infecting everyone they bite with it.
It would do tricks for the left over sacrament bread.
There really isn't much it couldn't do.
Date: September 30, 2022 08:47PM
I know, right!!
Camping under the stars; Laurels serving you dinner cooked by the MIAmaid, with the Beehives set to clean up afterward...
Getting up the next morning and downing that first cup of Postum Cookie brewed up for you galoots, after trying to find an unoccupied portapotty in order to perform your morning ablutions.
Based on all the Westerns I've watched, I don't think there's any lunch service . . . Maybe they'll assign local RS units to bring out sandwiches, and stuff?
Remember, with faith, nothing is impossible, because ghawd would never ask you to do something that you were incapable of doing! You're never tested above your 'break' limit.
What a nice ghawd!