You chose Jesus over me.

And you broke my heart in the process.

What does Jesus have that I don't have?

The guy can't even give you a hug in this life.

He can't even give you a handshake until he turns into weird handshake guy in the afterlife.

I'm just joking man haha just having a good laugh everyone chooses religion or Jesus instead of being a friend to yours truly.

Just a scientific test that always repeats itself it seems. Everyone choosing religion or Jesus FIRST instead of being a good friend or family member to another human being.

Why does this pattern always repeat over and over i am not really sure. More study needs to be done on this phenomenon.

And with that i close for the night my internet friends haha.

Dude.

I am not defending ziller. Let’s get that straight from the jump.

This is at least the second time I’ve seen you call him out.

If you’ve got an off board beef, maybe it should stay there.

Yes, people often choose religion over friends and family, hence the whole shunning crap. It sux. It hurts. It’s awful.

But

I don’t think these directed posts are helpful to *you*. General discussion about shunning? I’m onboard with that.

Hey Bef! You need to mail me, I have something for you :)

It's probably a huge spider.

I've got no beef. Just a fake narrative joke really making myself laugh i guess. I know he's a fraudster like everyone else its no big deal really. Hell, i was born around fraudsters.

The Ziller character doesn't even exist. Waste of time to have a beef with somethin that doesn't exist just like religion for example it was all a charade so why have a beef with things that don't exist.

You will only get your handshake through the veil.

I don't want it. I asked for it in the past on the board but was ignored entirely.

What's with the fixation on Ziller? Was he your best friend too or is this a one sided thing? Maybe you take your issue(s) with him off line.

My fixation with fake characters and fake organizations goes back to my earliest memories really.

-Being born in a fake religion and knowing it was made up at a young but did not really have a choice at that time but stay in it and pretend it was real for my family's sake.

-Almost from day one also i was up against a fake individual as my my father was a fake character for nearly my entire. Only when i was older when i started to study psychopaths did i realize why this was. Nearly 24/7 psychopaths portray a fake character or even switch up characters to work certain people. All that is fine i guess if i wasn't one of the people getting worked.

But Adam, if you can see a person with your eyes then that means that they are real and have one ounce of good or authenticity within them because they say nice things and beautiful words as the prophets and apostles did and do. Not true, I refer to example A my father. Says all the right things like 'i love you' and such but means none of it because like i said psychopaths do not feel love on any level. To this day my father is the biggest blow to myself as it was real from my end of things but definitely not on his end of things. The religion is the same as my father too and psychopaths literally have had a griphold on religion since forever.

Anyways, do i need to go on. Would it blow your mind that most of the world and most of the operations and the people that run them are fake? Probably. Hell, even you might be fake. Unless you have felt actual love in your life and not just said the words empty as the psychopaths do. Even money is fake and has no value as they are bank notes and say so on them. Is a bank note an I.O.U or somethin then? Maybe. Still buys food for now so thats good.

Anyways, go back to your favorite tv show i am done ranting for now.

Oh, the last fixation of a fake character was Ziller though after all the fakery in religion i guess i still get drawn to the fake characters but i have resisted. Have not really proven that jesus is a fake character like santa yet but best for last. As i can not use the the excuse that Jesus only helps people in religion that worship and pay homage to him as i have resigned and yet am still helped by something outside of all the fakery of the show charade of religion and outside of the fake society as a whole really. I am still baffled that i am helped even being outside of it all. Maybe the guy behind the Ziller character did find a higher power or Jesus. Maybe. Jesus literally is the last thing disprove as i have tried to disprove this fake character for most of my life as religion was disproved at age 7 for me. My whole family of origin was disproved as fake at a later age though. You know, you always wish your family of origin really loved you even though they never did. So i guess i was deceiving myself for a long while with that one. Its a big blow when a son finds out his father was nothing more than a psychopath for most of the son's life. Big blow. The only way to defeat a psychopath and a psychopath run organization is to run away and tell no one from your past where are going and start completely. If you look back at the lds organization or the fake family you left behind then you will never make it. Its tough to not look back and have not doing the best at it i admit. Its hard to not watch all the fake characters on the tv screen sometimes. Like apostles and bugs bunny. Both fake as the other. Even Brad Pitt is fake off camera. Oh well.

I am going to bed. You can go back to watching Tom Brady winning another super bowl or something for the millionth time and pretend this post never existed.

Lata

You told me in this past that i would need luck to survive in this world and i agree having burned all my bridges to my past but it was all fake support i am realizing from family and religion and major companies when i had a bosses. It is kind of tough to be your own boss but it is definitely worth it if you can pull it off and sustain the discipline it takes day after day after day. The tricky part about being your own boss is not becoming a workaholic and ignoring all other aspects of life like women and dating for example. Having been taught no life skills or social skills by religion or family growing up though i have been having to learn the hard way head on every day about living life and how to behave like a real human. You are definitely not taught how to behave like a real human in religion that was and is for sure. Only taught to be a submissive robot b#tch in religion pardon my language. They don't even want people to be their actual true selves and their true personalities from birth? That was a huge red flag when i was a kid that something was definitely not right in this operation or religion.

But yes, i do listen to what people say to me on here whether hurtful or helpful for either way i do learn something and change or readjust in my behavior in real life or see things in a different way than i was taught(cult training, or mormon brain as they call it). Its hard to counter cult training conditioning or mormon brain but not impossible as i am still trying different things to reprogram the mind and rewire the brain basically from all the years of being programmed by religion and family growing up. Its a big undertaking to try and succeed at this for sure. As the profressionals have said no medication can actually undo what happened to you in religion so it takes actual effort on top of any med the profressionals can give you. So it really is fully up to me and not any profressionals help if i am to succeed in the aftermath of the chaos and drama and trauma from religion family over all the years. I still have a lot of healing work work ahead of me having that said.

Well, at least i listen to people sometimes which is more than i can say for most of the leaders of religion. They are like brick walls literally. Nothing gets through to any of them so yea best move is to walk away and never look back and start a brand new life separate from it all.

>> You told me in this past that i would need luck to survive in this world <<

Hmmmmm, I don't recall telling you or anyone else that. I'm not really a believer in "luck"....we make our own luck. And sometimes stuff just happens, good and bad. Someone wins a huge lottery, was it luck? No, they bought a ticket and that opened the opportunity to win. I recently had covid, was I unlucky? No, I went to an indoor rock concert and exposed myself to a large crowd.

Anyway....I was asking what started your focus on Ziller, the poster, real or fake, it doesn't matter. You said you wanted to be pen pals and seemed to be really fixated on him/her (not sure which Ziller is), etc. Just curious what caused that in you. If the above two replies is the answer, well OK then, no need to respond.

Good luck Adam.

I'm guessing it was a mutual interest in pole dancing videos. ;-]

That, and they both love a good tilde ~ ~ ~ ~

I've just got back from Morocco celebrating my elder daughter's marriage with an excellent Moroccan (19th nationality in the family ;-).

There are women over there who can tilde with their tummy ;-)

Shakira?

You saw Shakira in Morocco??

I wonder if they make Shakira and bake for pigeons? A pigeon is just a small chicken, right?

They certainly make Pigeon Pastilla, it's one of their signature dishes. Meat with sugar... interesting.

Congratulations on the marriage in your family! How wonderful to go to Morocco. That's what I call adding spice to life.

Misplaced post



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/03/2022 07:25PM by dagny.

How cool is that? Cooler than I can imagine, having never been there.

It was pretty cool (as well as pretty hot and humid). Extremely "other". A nice reminder of the world's diversity.

Congratulations, Tom. That's splendid news.

Hahaha you got it dagny. All friendships have to start with some common interest you know?

People may make fun of the pole dancing videos but they seriously helped me through a very difficult period of my life when i finally resigned from religion and 'family' forever.

You know, I had a friend once.

You have a friend in Jesus. ;)

Elder Berry Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> You have a friend in Jesus. who of a sunny day may be seen rambling in lederhosen through the foothills of the Greater Los Angeles Alps.

Lol. Maybe he can forgive a stripper for her sins when she touches his lederhosen.

I'm sure Jesus is very forgiving, particularlyl in his relations with women.

I just hope the women are willing to forgive him.

THAT is the more dubious proposition.

Jesus may be the only person that actually likes me unconditionally. I disproved many things in my life such as most religions and other operations out there but i could never disprove Jesus because who the hell has been helping me since leaving religion and family of origin forever. Only someone that has been through the same hell on earth as me could be able to help me this much and this far. Only one individual i could think of that could possibly know me this well and understands what i survived in religion and under narcissist 'parents'. D@mn that Jesus that is everywhere and knows exactly what people to bring into my life to give me a real family.

Real friends are hard to find and i am being serious. Most people can only count a true friend on two fingers or even one. So you have to be a friend to yourself first and foremost ahead of any outside friendships.

A wise approach.

Have to admit being a good friend to myself has not been easy though. Work in progress the whole loving myself thing haha.

You know how it goes with me haha. There is no ex-mo guidebook on how to live after resigning you know haha.

None of us have answers. It's always a work in progress.

You deal with some unusual problems, but you're taking your time and figuring a lot of things out. That's rewarding to see.

That is really a relief and good to hear that its a work in progress for a lot of people and not just myself. I don't feel so alone on this unknown road in a way.

Was hoping old dog had all the answers.

Nobody has all the answers, Adam, not even The Dog.

Life is a work in progress for everybody, by definition.

I often think it's so too bad that we "live and learn" but then we inevitably die, hopefully at a ripe old age. Just when we're a lot more wise and experienced than when we started out. The best we can do is try to stay on the right side of the line (not losing sight of where the line is) and that we pass on our lessons learned to the upcoming generation.

It's good to talk about it so we can share and learn from others. It takes effort and patience and time.

We're all struggling in our various ways. The best I ever hope for is that at least the problems and issues change so things don't get too boring.

It seems you're on the right path. Good luck in your trek. Keep talking it through.

Trek is actually a great word i would say as i have been watching a lot of star trek lately. Right now i am watching the original Star Trek from the 60s!!! When old dog was a young man maybe haha.

Well, i will call this journey a trek from now on i think. Trekking the unknown and exploring where no man has gone before possibly in this vast universe where there is no time or space. Was watching a trek episode tonight and kirk says there is no unknown just things that are already there that have not been discovered yet. I think thats what he said. It was a great line i thought.

If only i had a solid mentor throughout my life i think i would be doing a lot better at this point in life.

I often wonder what I would have been like if I had a solid parent. Watched Charlie Brown last night and realized the kids were just left to themselves in the 60s. It showed Lucy bring Linus back from the pumpkin patch at 4am.

I know exactly what you mean EB. On both counts.

I was definitely left to myself A LOT growing up. Nobody parented me i will just say it straight up. I am learning now that i have to re-parent myself at this age which really is tough. Even learning that i need to nurture myself as i was not nurtured either. How do i nurture myself if i am not a woman you know? My mother was very butch and a bully. Zero nurturing from that one haha. Was watching the sonic the hedgehog movie for the first time the other day because i wanted to laugh having jim carrey in it and sonics complete loneliness struggle really got to me. I have had that loneliness feeling despite there being people around for nearly my entire life. But sonic made friends and gained a couple of parents so it was all good that actually liked him in the end. One of sonics bucket list things was to "make a real friend" which is one of mine i think as i had tried to find real friends like with Ziller for example. I am learning though that i have to learn how to be a real friend also from my own side of things which has been hard. I really don't know how to be a real friend or at least i have forgotten how to be a real friend. Thought i knew how to be a real friend in my younger days but maybe i didn't and i wasn't as good of a friend as i thought.

One of the most important things about being a good friend is finding people you have things in common with. Not things you think you should like to do but things you REALLY like to do. For instance, I really love animals. I have made some good friends over the years doing different animal related things :)

Still kind of figuring out what i really like to do. Never was completely free to figure out what i really like until i got away from the control and grip of religion and family. Religion tried to tell me what i should like and how i should
be but it never resonated with me the whole time. I thought the whole thing and experience in religion as a whole was very strange. I do like going to the bikini bar though i admit hence why i thought ziller and myself had this in common and maybe could be a foundation for a friendship of some kind. I was not very mature when i first came on to the board as everyone knows. I am a work in progress still but i do think i have matured a tiny bit. The friendship i wanted was coming from an immature place and a lonely place as i have been a loner since my exile or exit from religion and family of origin.

It took me a long time too. My whole life there was someone that needed me for something and of course, I had to make money. I was in my 30s before I got any real ME time. I have always been a heavy reader and that is where all my extra time went. Even now I am trying and learning new things. I try things, suck at most, find a few I really enjoy even if I still suck. I am loving learning Ukrainian and have made a few friends. I suck and I doubt anyone would be able to understand me IRL. When I say who, xto, it sounds like a cat with a hairball. But we use translators and muddle along. Don't be afraid to try things. Don't think that being good is success, sucking is ok too :)

Best advice ever. Life is to try.

There are a lot of great comments on this thread. I also appreciate Adam trying to explain what his journey (trek!) has been like.

"Life is to try" is a pretty darn good motto to get us through the day. I finally figured out at some point that life is what happens as you try to discover what the whole thing is all about. The smart and/or fortunate ones see that early and relax and enjoy their time as the days go by, no matter what curve balls get thrown their way. Some days will be good, some not so great but hopefully on balance the good overcomes the not so much.

I was relieved and happy to finally see that you don't need all the answers before you can just relax and enjoy the good moments.

I've taken some time to try and think of something amazing to advise you, Adam, but find I've got pretty much nothing. Other than try to relax, give out at least as much as you get, if not more, and increase the numbers and types of your pursuits and experiences so there's a better chance of landing in a place that's right for you. It's not what others expect of or for you, as in the religion of your early years or a vocation your parents may have tried to push on you (not you literally, perhaps, but it's an example of what happens to some people) but something that interests you. If it's something that helps you make a living that's an extra benefit. I'm fortunate to have always been interested in medicine, since my earliest memories, and I've been able to support myself in various ways in that field. But in addition to enjoyable work it also helps to have outside interests in other fields to achieve a reasonable balance and widen one's opportunities to create a meaningful and rewarding life for oneself.

Sometimes stuff just happens and commands our attention to excess as time marches on. I occasionally remind myself to be the one that grabs the rudder and steers the boat to places I want to go rather than just floating along aimlessly while the years fly by. IOW, be intentional about one's interests and goals rather than just being carried along on any wind that happens to blow by.

If you are still interested in religion (you speak of Jesus) maybe you could check out some information online about the teachings of various different faith groups. I'd strongly suggest sticking to the mainstream ones and avoid the offshoots which I strongly doubt could add any benefit to your life at this point. I wouldn't leap into involvement in any specific one. No matter how pressing your questions feel, just take deep breaths and take it slow. Nobody should exert pressure on you to join or do or promise or perform. If you feel that happening it may be a good idea to take a step back. Don't get consumed by another entity, especially one focused on fundamentalist-type religion. I think quite a number of various churches are still doing online services due to the pandemic (at least here in Canada) or else a hybrid of some online, some in person. Checking them out online, while not giving you the comfort of meeting others in person, could be a good way to start without posing any risk that someone will come on too heavy with you in person, expecting something from you or over-promising something that sounds enticing but may not be in your best interests at this point.

I think it may really suit you to keep the concept of balance in mind, in every sphere of life, work, home, friends, hobbies, activities, and church if you want to include that. Find the middle of the road and linger there a while.

Also, maybe join a club or other community group that focuses on an activity or hobby you enjoy. Think of your three main interests, say, and spend time pursuing them. A photography club, for instance. (Is that still a thing now with cell phone capabilities?) But folks really into photography still use actual photography equipment. I only mention this because of my lifelong fascination with it. It's amazing to think of how photography started out and where it has developed to in the 21st century. (Haha, that's my little joke for the day: photography/developed, hahahahahaha - I know it's rude to laugh at one's own jokes but I crack myself up sometimes). Also it's on my mind because I've recently spent absolute hours sorting my piles of photos into a life story for my sister and her daughter as a Christmas gift this year. I have photos of great-grandparents and others way back when and it absolutely amazes me. Not just that I can view their faces but that the photos were taken back in the beginning of time and have survived so they could become my cherished possessions. I have a picture of my beloved mum as a mere babe (so amazingly lovely) and others at celebratory times throughout her life up to a week before her unexpected death. It's comforting to see and remember that we were out at one of her favourite places just shortly before her passing and we were having a good time in the sun, looking at the boats, enjoying a pint (well, Mum's was a shandy - mostly 7-Up for her).

So, yeah, I love photography!

Try a bunch of stuff and see what sticks, Adam. Branch out and learn a good few new things. Take a class, read a non-fiction book about a topic that intrigues you, meet new people around a common interest. I'd strongly recommend pursuing activities and relationships not solely based on religion. Give yourself some time and space to decompress from the toxic religion that has marked your life and don't rush into something else before you get a taste of what it's like to take a breath and look around and CHOOSE what you are interested in and what you want to get involved in, if anything. If you feel pressure from someone, walk away, would be my advice.

Another benefit to checking out a group centered around a common interest is it's easier to find friendly people who have something in common with you from the start without any ulterior motives like getting you to join a church. Avoid pressure from anyone to do anything. Look for ways to self-improve, like learning a new skill. Take it easy. Answers will come. Wisdom even, as we live our lives. It takes time though.

In the immortal words of Sus: Try stuff! Relax! Enjoy!

So continuing to learn and try different and new things that you have never done before or was too afraid to try is key I think you are telling me here.

Friendship just happens. You can't force it. The secret is to expect nothing from anyone. Want nothing from everyone. All relationships come with deal breakers---such as those who choose Jesus over you. Your beginning of this thread is profound and artistically expressed. Everyone is always telling me Jesus loves me, well, except for Jesus.

People don't want what's best for you. They want what is best for them and want you to bring that*. It is a lie that it is better to give than to receive. That is why the Mormons have $100+ Billion and you don't. They are proof that money doesn't buy happiness as well. Ever see such sour people as the G.A.s?




*The more you experience in life the more interesting you become--especially to yourself. That is what the good people want from you--someone that brings something new to the conversation.

That is also what you should want from yourself. We are born empty vessels with propensities. Like a cookie jar that needs to be filled. Except with humans there is no end to the things you can stuff inside. All of which all becomes raw goods for forming the final you. Some stuff in the jar used and some not but all at your disposal. That is why Susan's advice "to try" is gold. You end up with more to work with.

“That is why Susan's advice "to try" is gold. You end up with more to work with.”
Such a good sentence. There is a song that goes “if you have the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance”. I hate to admit too many times in my life I didn’t even try. When I was about 25 years old or so now I am 43 anyway when I was 25 or so I was interesting in weightlifting but I never even tried. Why? Because I had question if I could do it or not so I didn’t even try. When I was 30 a friend of mine ask me to run a half marathon with her and again I didn’t even try. Susan I know you wrote that for Adam to read but THANK YOU you have inspired me to try.

subeamnotlogedin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> There is a song that goes
> “if you have the choice to sit it out or dance I
> hope you dance”.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RV-Z1YwaOiw

That's the song!

I see what you are saying.

Anyways, have a good night lottie. Good talking to you.

Hi Ziller, have you read this post?

Mostly likely not. When some claim to have found Jesus they get a superiority to others complex just like what happens in mormonism and the leaders get a superiority to others complex to those of lower rank for example to just the normal active member. It is a big weakness to be sure but it definitely happens and they feel they are above the rest. Don't believe the real Jesus wanted any of this or even a religion for that matter. I believe most people don't get Jesus at all when they claim they found him and saved them from alcoholism for example.

Just my two cents as i think most people don't know the real Jesus at all. Even i don't. And that is all i will say for now to close this thread finally.