About ten days ago, my husband was on a business trip. I got an email from my aunt with the lyrics to the song "Bill" from Show Boat. She must have thought they were perfect, as my husband's name is Bill, and it's a sweet, romantic song. I've known that song for some years. Jane Monheit did it for her album, "Taking a Chance on Love", and I've been wanting to do it, too. So I recorded the song and set it to photos.

Bill decided to send it to his very LDS younger daughter, who lives in Provo with her husband and kids, and is recovering from a very sheltered upbringing with her toxic mom. Some of you know that for a long time, Bill and his daughters didn't speak at all. As it is now, the younger one has re-established a relationship with him, but her older sister still lives with their mom and has nothing to do with Bill at all.

As Bill and his daughter have been talking, he's learned about what went on during those years they were estranged. Ex made Bill's daughters drop out of high school and take college courses so they could get loans. Then she took whatever excess money came from the loans and used it to support the household. Younger daughter recently paid back the loan, but has no degree. And after Bill sent her the video I made, it became pretty clear that she hasn't learned basic computing skills.

I think she loved the video and some of the others on my channel, especially since I usually set the music to photos or videos, and for so long, she was completely denied all of those references. She told Bill that she used to have a photo of him that she slept with, but her mother found it and confiscated it, so for many years, she had no idea what Bill looked like. She was told a lot of lies about us, which doesn't surprise me... but apparently, her mother also treated her daughters with Bill like maids (she has three other kids with two other husbands).

The funny thing is, for so many years, the LDS church was used as a parental alienation tool. Because Bill left the church, Ex would tell the girls that leaving the church made him unworthy of them. But then, years later, when the church became too influential over her daughters, Ex decided to leave it. She wanted younger daughter to leave with her, but instead, younger daughter got help and support from the church and some really good members helped her move out of her mother's clutches. Ex let her go to BYU with nothing but her clothes, but it was church members who helped her with everything from giving her sheets for her bed to driving her to school from the airport. Ex's response to that was to overdose.

Anyway... younger daughter now has a music calling at church, so she was especially interested in the videos. She had a lot of questions. It made me feel sad that I couldn't be there to help teach her some of these things when she was growing up. But maybe I can introduce her to things like Garage Band and iMovie or similar, and she can make some videos of her own. I think she got a kick out of the photos in "Bill", all of which show different sides of her dad that she never got to see. Even the ones that show him drinking beer. ;)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PaVbErlfutw

Younger daughter has grown into a very kind, lovely young woman, in spite of her mother's influence. She's a lot like her dad and his mom, another person Ex hated and wouldn't let her get to know. And if she had been allowed to know them, I suspect she wouldn't be living in Provo... or LDS. I am, however, very grateful to the kind church members who helped her when we couldn't.

First of all, Ex is a piece of work. Period.

I'm glad you are able to share with them through music. I didn't remember that song. Lovely. Bill should be flattered.

Bill loved the video! I really enjoyed making it, especially since we're about to celebrate our 20th anniversary.

Ex, too, has made it to 20 years with her third husband. However, she has a very public Twitter page, and lately she's been making some noises that another split may be on the horizon. She tweets actors and authors, and recently posted that the way they set up fantasies could "save her marriage". Or, maybe she's just attention seeking again for the sake of doing it.

I shouldn't care about what she does, but unfortunately, she has a habit of popping out of the woodwork when she thinks things have blown over. A few months ago, she showed up at my husband's bereaved stepmother's house and asked for money. When SMIL refused, Ex went out and bought boxes and postage and gave them to SMIL with the suggestion that she mail her any heirlooms or other things that she wants to "pass down". She also brought my husband's long estranged older daughter and her third daughter with her current husband. No one had seen older daughter in a long time. My husband hasn't seen her in person since 2004. And yes, again, this is *my husband's stepmother*-- not her current husband's stepmother or other parents.

Anyway, I do watch her, because I don't want her harassing the family. She's also kind of fascinating on many sick levels. She never lets anyone go. I would not be surprised if she tried to hit up Bill for money. There was a time when he would have given it to her, too.

Thanks for watching the video. I really loved recording that song, even if I'm impressed by Bill's brain and would never sit on his knees because that would definitely lead to surgery. ;)

Definitely be on guard because she sounds like she could be close to "popping out of the woodwork" again. Sigh. I think every family has one like that.

Thanks for sharing.

I'm so glad his daughter has a relationship with him. I'm sure it has helped her to heal and realize not all parents are like her mother!

My nephew got divorced 5 years ago. His ex has turned his older 2 kids against him. Oddly, the daughter texted my son recently. We are hoping it is a way to connect to her dad, but we are letting her call the shots. I've told my nephew to not give up, that kids are smarter than we think. I hate seeing what it does to kids.

My niece actually said, "Cl2 did it right. She let her kids see their dad any time they wanted and vice versa." It wasn't pretty and also involved me not getting a divorce or child support, but I'm glad my kids have their dad and I need him to help me with them. Nice to have someone to send them to for things rather than it all be on my shoulders like it was.

It is wonderful that you are good to his daughter, too. It is too bad that she didn't have you all these years, but she has you NOW! That is really important.

Just today, we received the loveliest thank you/ Happy Anniversary card in the mail from Bill’s daughter. Her oldest child just turned five, so we got to send presents. One was a fuzzy blanket with glow in the dark stars on it. Apparently, he loved it, because he’s afraid of the dark! I think his mom loves it, too. ;)

I am not “grandma”, but I love shopping for kids. We also sent him a Little Genius game, but that got delivered to a neighbor by accident. She went over to ask for it, but she had on her church clothes and it’s a bunch of guys living there. She said she thinks they were afraid she was going to ask them to go to church! :D

Hopefully, they have handed it over by now. It’s a fun experiment game for little kids. I figured it would be good for a rainy day.

My parents never divorced, but my husband’s parents did. He always had access to his dad. My MIL would never do what Ex did.

Years ago, the one time I ever communicated with Ex, I told her off. I predicted her kids would know what she did. I was right.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/01/2022 01:44PM by knotheadusc.