It will be 90% of the content of the previous conference with even more Jesus added. We are gathering Israel by staying on the covenant path will be the same ol focus.
What won’t be mentioned is anything that makes the church look bad. It’s all your fault and you need to repent.
We can only hope they don’t use the phrase Christ-like living. I find the phrase extraordinarily annoying, and the accusation that “you’re not being very Christ-like” even worse.
They are two of the blunter tools in the Mormon guilt-trip tool bag. I would be delighted to see them gone. With the current program to convince the world that Mormons are too Christian, I fear they are here to stay.
won't be spoken: "you are released from the bondage/discomfort/inconvenience/bulk of your garments in daily life; however, you should wear them in the Temple to remind you of your covenants made there."
the use - substitution of ‘do you strive to be honest?’ Instead of ‘Are you honest with your fellowmen? (should be “with all others”) in the TRIQ was a mistake that was attributed to an unidentified computer hacker; computer data security has been improved and there will be no future similar incidents…
We have horded your excess tithes and offerings for years and now get a nice return in the financial markets.
Since the returns from the markets and your annual giving is greater than 10% to God's only true church. We have received inspiration that your obligation has been reduced to 5% in these times of high inflation and costs to enable you to feed your families and follow the advice of Christ to help our brothers and sisters.
I predict I won't care what they say, because what they consistently FAIL to DO speaks louder than words.
They consistently FAIL to edit out the racist verses that make Mormon scriptures far more blatantly racist than any other scriptures on the planet, because racism and white supremacy, is the basis of Mormonism.
We have 100 billion dollars tucked away so you're all getting a refund check for last years tithing, your kids missions will be paid for, and your kids can go to the BYU of their choice for free.
If you own a shell company, we'd like to talk to you about working for the church hiding our assets. Great pay and very little effort.
Stop having so many kids, the world is over populated.
If someone you're ministering to doesn't want any more contact, just leave them alone and don't bother them.
If what the church teaches gives you the feeling of a bad spirit, you can disregard whatever we say.
Beer and wine isn't part of the WoW so go pull a tab or pop a cork and enjoy yourself.
Coffee is good for you so enjoy a few cups a day.
Feel free to laugh as long and as loud as you want.
ChurchCo is an organization that tells you that you shouldn’t sleep nude with your spouse, but you can cheat & lie as long as you’re cagey about it!
Have a problem with sexual abuse done by a leader? DON’T CALL OUR HOT LINE !!
All our policies, decisions & actions are open for member comment before they’re finalized, including financials. 100% financial & policy transparency!
When any of our leaders makes a mistake, we’ll apologize, correct it, and make it right for all concerned.
As leaders, we promise to Do Everything we tell members to do.
We won’t accept favors from members tendered with expectations of any extraordinary privileges
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/17/2023 02:40AM by GNPE.
“We have been increasingly aware that Christ’s gospel was never one of exclusion; therefore all worthy females may have access to the blessings of holding HFs Priesthood…
We trust local stake presidents to fully implement this directive in their stakes no later than 4/1/2023.
10. Could the Relief society make sandwiches for the conference? 9. You can now pay tithing with Venmo. 8. Please join us in prayer for the Daybells 7. Receding waters in the Great Salt Lake is a hoax 6. Josh Weed has been called to head the singles ward 5. Easter will now officially be called the Egg holiday 4. The term, “what the heck is going on here?” will not be allowed at Boy Scout campouts 3. A new Fire Side for Seniors will be hosted by Donny and Marie 2. Age limit will be set for LDS president to 126 years old 1. Young LDS girls will now be allowed to pet on the first date
* Plural marriage will now be allowed on Earth as it is in the Celestial Kingdom.
* Joseph Smith was greater than Jesus Christ.
* Warren Jeffs is practicing true Mormonism.
I should note that some of what I've written above was/is practiced in the LDS church of yesterday/today but the leadership doesn't want it spoken about because it doesn't want the negative publicity.
~Brothers and Sisters we are pleased to present a comprehensive report of church finances. This report will also be posted online for members and other interested parties to review.