Date: March 24, 2023 01:50PM
> EOD- Was being an EQP like
> herding cats?
My BYU wife, my reward for wasting the lord's time for two years in Mexico, and I moved into Lakeview Ward in the Fall of 1968, and before Christmas, I'd been called to be the EQP. I was the only Lamanite in the Ward, and if there were other BYU students, I was not aware of them. Please know that I look very much like what you'd expect a Lamanite to look like.
It was my assumption that the bishop picked me to avoid pissing off half the ward, meaning there were two possible candidates, each of whom had significant backing. By picking me, a totally unknown person who was nothing like them, the warring factions could unite for a common purpose...
All of my charges were older than me, all of them were responsible adults, and most of them were quite well off. And they were all Utah born and bred.
...I was taken to my first porno film by the Elders Quorum.
...They would bring beer to outings and work projects.
...At the end of EVERY social gathering involving the wives, someone would yell, "Okay guys, throw your key ring in the hat and let's see who goes home with you!"...followed by hearty laughter. (Where did that constant and unvarying joke come from?!)
Being the EQP did give me the opportunity to do something very few people have done... I cannot recall the purpose, but the MIA sponsored a trip to San Francisco via chartered bus for the ward youth. I was asked to be a chaperone.
At the naval base on Treasure Island, we toured a number of ships, including a submarine. While assembled in the control room of the WWII sub, listening to the tour guide, I noticed a big button, labeled Klaxon, with a bright, shiny new placard under it: "Do Not Touch."
I touched it...https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:WWII_submarine_dive_klaxon.ogg
(upper left, in black, 0.04 secs, hit the arrow...)
The joy on everyone's faces!! (Except for the tour guide.)
The downside was knocking on the doors of inactive elders, asking for donations to the ward budget. These were mostly adult Whites, who had no idea a Lamanite would be coming to their doors, asking for their mormon money. The looks on some of the faces... It was surreal.
While I didn't believe in ghawd, I did believe in propitiating the ward members, and I think I mostly did. My term in office ended at graduation, Summer of 1970, and I was released with the customary raising of the right hand to the square.
About four years ago, I got a call from my oldest son. He explained that he was at a golf tournament and was wearing a name tag. An older gentleman approached him and said that he'd only seen that last name once before, while living out in Lakeview. My son, wondering if it could have been me, was calling to find out if I'd ever lived in Lakeview. When I told him I had, and gave the dates, he repeated this to the gentleman and then put him on the phone with me.
The gentleman had been in MIA at the time of the San Francisco trip and remembered both me and the klaxon. He'd lived in Lakeview for many years and still had one parent there.
I asked him if he had any idea as to why I, a total stranger at the time, had been called to be the EQP, and I offered up my theory that I was the answer to the bishop's problem of possibly pissing off half the ward.
He seemed quite assured in his response that my theory was wrong; he said that he'd become good friends with the bishop over the years and had heard the bishop mention that my calling was the result of direct inspiration. Naturally, I did not voice my opinion that, yeah, direct inspiration on how to avoid pissing off half the congregation.
Being mormon was 95% fun for me, but I was always just a kid about it, if that makes sense to you.