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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 25, 2023 07:26PM

Mormon puberty is what I experienced. "Mormon Puberty"...  Probably a couple of you shuddered! 

Mormon puberty probably hits harder than regular puberty, and this likely the case no matter what country you're mormon in, thanks to the gifts of revelation and inspiration.  

Along with regular endocrine system puberty and its effects, we got to add mormon puberty...  Deacons and Beehives, Teachers and MiaMaids, and the coup de grace, Priests and Laurels.  Every Tuesday from 7pm until they kicked us out of the 'cultural hall', for eight hormonal years!

Having a woman of your own was/is a highly prized goal, especially in the mormon church, and practicing how to please, attract, and hold a member of the opposite sex (accept no substitutes!!) were things that the Aaronic priesthood was made for, although it was surely unintentional back in the day.

I will grant you that mormonism is not the only religion that tries to tame hormone-induced physicality, but there are some extremes reached by mormon leaders which are varying combinations of terrifying and horrifying!  

I've remarked at various times here that after I finally (FINALLY!!!) fell from grace, that when I confessed it, all my bishop cared about was, first, was she was mormon, and second, had I repented?  I blessed the sacrament the following Sunday because my answers were 'no' to the first and a 'yes' to the second.  Yay! for winning at bishop roulette!

One of my grandsons made it into the MTC before confessing something that got him sent home, with a path marked out for him to attain 'forgiveness,' which involved checking in with his bishop on a weekly basis, except for the week the rest of his family went on a quick vacation, during which time, having been left home alone, he had to phone his bishop every evening.  
It was well over six months of this before he was allowed to resume his mission.  So essentially, he 'wasted' three years of his life.

You know what would help?  If the female bosom wasn't held to be "sacred" and had to be kept a "secret"...  Also, it might help if the David statue was on the nickel, the Thinker statue was on the dime, and the Kiss statue was on the quarter. https://theancienthome.com/collections/nude-male-sculpture-statues/products/the-kiss-statue-lovers-sculpture-by-rodin

I'm accepting nominations for smutty Fine Art for the quarter, fifty-cent piece, and the 'silver' dollar...



When he was a teenager, how often did Jesus Christ get laid?

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: March 25, 2023 07:47PM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

Hormones - the curse of humankind. Or the blessing. Take your pick.


> One of my grandsons made it into the MTC before
> confessing something that got him sent home, with
> a path marked out for him to attain 'forgiveness,'

Excruciating. Poor kid. Penalized for being young. And a male. And by all means, let's make it as public as possible.


> It was well over six months of this before he was
> allowed to resume his mission.  So essentially,
> he 'wasted' three years of his life.

Time too precious to waste, unfortunately. And you can't get it back.


> it might help if the David
> statue was on the nickel, the Thinker statue was
> on the dime, and the Kiss statue was on the
> quarter.

Pretty funny, EOD.



> When he was a teenager, how often did Jesus Christ
> get laid?

Good heavens. I didn't see this line until I was at the end of my response.

That's the kind of thinking that could get you exxed, PDQ, EOD. Or worse. Oh wait...


But. Lightning rod stuff.

Eyes. Bleeding.

I didn't see it. I didn't see it. I didn't see it.

Over and out....

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: March 25, 2023 08:43PM

TBMs in the know are okay with Jesus' dad, Elohim, doing the Vegas 'quicky' wedding thing and then humping his teen-blushing bride, Mary...  So they'd probably be fine with boy Jesus falling prey to his ghawd-like hormonal teenage imbalance!

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: March 25, 2023 08:46PM

Jesus, you KNOW the doctor told you not to take all those pills at the same time.

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