Now I realize, I'll probably never attend the temple again. I wonder if they get desperate for active members they'll ever back off somewhat on mandatory tithing.

I borrowed the term Cafeteria Mormon from Cafeteria Catholic, i.e., someone who attends mainly for social reasons, to be part of the tribe. Although I'm guessing the LDS Church is less tolerant of fence sitters such as myself than Catholics. It has probably got around the ward top brass that brother Cafeteria Mormon doesn't pay tithing, but with the church membership hemorrhaging, and brother Cafeteria participating fairly regularly, and being a healthy halfway decent looking functional married heterosexual male, we best not pressure him.

Lori Vallow is the only Mormon around who isn't a cafeteria Mormon.

IMO.

There was a time I would kill to meet a woman that TBM.

Chad?

I don't think it's possible for them to back track on tithing. The statement in the handbook may be construed to allow net tithing but I think that's as far as they'll go.

Youtube has the lds temple movie free of charge to watch.

http://www.mormonthink.com/tithing.htm

I don't think that the lds church will reduce the tithing obligation. At the beginning, tithing was paid 10% of the excess after the basic needs had been met.

Over 10 years ago when my husband and I were active in the church we decided to reduce our tithing from $600 to $500. Bishop called us into his office if we could incase our tithing money. We shelf was already quite big (why did Jospeh smith marry a 14 year old when Joseph Smith himself was over 30 years old?). We reduced the tithing so that our children could do a sports activity ( once a week a gymnastic class).

As the bishop ask for more tithing money I said "no" right away I didn't know how much money the lds church had but I did know that the lds church doesn't need our money because I had heard that the lds church was one of the richest churches within the USA.

I was always jealous of the neighbors because they did fun things they went out to eat and did sports activities. We make about the same amount of money as the neighbors. Where is all our money going to? Bingo Tithing. It donned on me what if I would reduce our tithing and to fun things with the kids? The neighbors prioritized their families while we prioritized Mormonism.No need for me to be jealous all I had to do was switch my priorities and choose how to spend our money differently.

They can't seem to leave you alone. I have resigned, but they still see you as a missionary project BIG TIME. They were even assigning us ministers and coming to collect fast offerings.

AND since I was inactive and my husband was ex. sec., the bishop asked him to get an interview with me and I turned him down for a while. Then he told me my husband would be one of the next two bishops so I needed to become more active. He never brought up tithing to me. I'll have to ask my "husband" if he did. We also got visits from the primary, etc., about our kids not going and they were going to take them.

My sister went inactive as the ward treated her kids horribly. All her kids left the church in their teens no matter how much she fought with them about it. So she got called in by the bishop and he asked if she had some big sin she hadn't repented of yet and did she need to take care of that. He asked her if she had a porn problem. If you knew my sisters and I you'd be shocked. She just barely told me this and it has been at least 20 years ago. She was in shock. She went back up until the last year or so, and after COVID they'd had their fill. She just read the book Educated and she told me I needed to read it. She said I saw what they did to you in that book. Women have no value except for them to use us. She said after reading that book, she couldn't go back if she wanted to. She's 67.

Just give it time. The bishop will call you in and ask you why you aren't paying tithing or something else to figure out why you aren't.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/07/2023 11:38AM by cl2.

" He asked her if she had a porn problem." Interesting that the bishop thinks of porn when someone goes inactive.

I was lucky enough to never get my endowments. I did baptisms for the dead as a teen, so I did have a recommend at one point.

But I had a hell of a time paying tithing. I was poor, and I had very bad money management skills as a kid (could have used a little help there, Useless Parents!!!) So as a young adult I just couldn't do it.

I was thinking of going on a mission, but I could not get a recommend until I got caught up on my tithing. And that bishop wanted BACK tithing that I had not paid. Each month the bill got bigger and bigger until the point there was just no way I could make it up.

For YEARS I felt guilty about that. Bone crushing guilt. I made myself sick with the guilt. Think depression. And I was so stressed out by it, I killed the nerves in all my back teeth because I ground them so hard.

When I found out the church was not true, OMG, I wonder if the world actually heard the ton of bricks fall off my shoulders! I have never felt a weight fly off like that! I equate it to a christian being born again. Like being caught under the ice, finding a hole and shooting out of the water clear to the moon!

Now I donate to a few charities that I think do good work. I'm not badgered for it, and my eternal life isn't hanging on it.

So, my advise to you is....Don't do it! Spend your money on something better!

Cafeteria--

WHY do you want to get a temple recommend?

This is an important question.

You are to be commended, if you want to please your wife and family. Making them happy is usually worth the sacrifice.

It seems like your motives are mainly social, though. If you are already active, and have a good support system of Mormon neighbors--you will be much better accepted ("loved") if you are 100% Mormon.

Still, it's a personal decision for you. What price are you willing to pay for "friends"? True Friends are more precious than rubies.

I would never return to the temple. Resigning from Mormonism was the only way I could be temple-divorce from a dangerous thug who beat me, and almost killed me. I married another Mormon, and had children. My children did not like being taught at church that they were forever sealed to a stranger they had never met--an abuser, who had another temple wife. None of us, including my husband, could believe the Joseph Smith stuff. My family were instrumental to my leaving.

Your family might be instrumental in your returning.

Actually, there aren't that many social activities in Mormonism, anymore, in our Utah neighborhood. No Scouts, no Christmas parties, ward basketball, no visiting teaching or home teaching, sports (I miss the softball games), no group hikes, no Relief Society luncheons, Priesthood dinners, plays, musical firesides, no more women's book club, etc. I was able to replace--and enhance--all these activities, outside the cult.

We live a Christian life, and about once a month, we attend a friendly neighborhood Christian church.

As for charities, you can find all kinds of worthwhile and rewarding organizations that will welcome your money and your social talents. (I'm active in the kids' schools, and also help "battered women".)

You will meet the nicest people on the planet! >^..^<

Forestpal, I just want to say how much it gladdens my heart to see you posting here again! It sounds like you are doing well, and I am glad for that.