I have received the sudden and very sad news that long time RfM poster and board moderator Tevai has recently passed away.

Tevai was an interesting, friendly poster as well as a fair and helpful mod. She enjoyed a full and productive life which she shared with all of us here, to our benefit.

Tevai last posted on May 2 and, true to form, she wrote about deep issues that were important to her and revealed her thoughtful nature and endless compassion. Tevai came across RfM around 2004 and said she found it much more interesting than the Mormon boards so, fortunately for us, she stuck around and participated regularly. Eventually, Tevai became an RfM moderator. In carrying out those tasks she was always reliable, helpful and considerate.

She was well informed and engaged, knowledgeably discussing major social issues that were important to her such as civil rights, ethnicity, racism and gender identity, expressing pleasure at what she saw as progress in the hard fought battles for recognition, equality and personal autonomy. She was also interested in and knowledgeable about various religions.

Tevai was generous in sharing pieces of her full and interesting life with us. In particular, she described her conversion to Judaism and offered compelling insights into her journey. She was always eager to learn about any subject and we benefited from her in-depth analysis and knowledge in many areas. She expressed excitement at reading something new from fellow posters, including the likely useless fact that the Queen of England was a Druid, as well as the existence of Morris dancers in the UK, just some of life’s little details that Tevai was always so delighted to learn at RfM. Tevai had been involved with the entertainment industry and often shared intriguing snippets about some of her experiences with the glamour and glitz of that world.

Tevai had a joy of learning that was a delight to observe. Her own words give us a glimpse into her dynamic presence and inquiring mind. In January this year the poster GNPE asked “What are our favorite diversions?” to which Tevai replied:

“Learning and exploring things and subjects and peoples and places I am (or have just become, for whatever reason) interested in.

“For most of my life I have been going from one thing to another after something catches my attention. Could be a passing reference in a commercial, or a book or other publication, or it could be something someone says (not necessarily directly to me, but I heard it).

“As a result, I have (since I was about ten years old) accumulated an expansive and eclectic collection of books, periodicals, discarded scripts, and handouts from various sources. … I continue to pursue answers to the questions that continue to come up in my own life, as I continue to learn.”

Tevai’s joy and humour were evident in her response below to the poster praydude (an exmo married to a Jewish woman) who once wrote:

“I tell my wife that the Jews must take pity on us and that to marry a mormon is a way of doing Tzedakah.” "(Tzedakah in Judaism refers to performing deeds of justice – commonly viewed as charity or philanthropy)."

Tevai replied, with delight:

“I am truly laughing out loud. This is one of the funniest things I've ever read on RfM.

… because of your post I will ALWAYS remember that marrying a mormon [would an exmo like you count?] may VERY possibly be an important form of doing tzedakah.

Thank you, praydude! I will remember this post always.”

Tevai loved many activities, hiking among them, and she couldn’t resist collecting trash along the way, doing her bit for the environment. Her partner said that Tevai “always told me to leave an area cleaner than it was before we got there and that we should leave other lives better than they had been.” That is a succinct and admirable life motto and undoubtedly Tevai achieved it.

SL Cabbie, a former poster who is now also sadly departed, remarked once about leaving the Mormon church that “No matter how pathological the relationship, the separation represents a loss, and losses must be grieved...” to which Tevai, a nevermo, replied “Absolutely true” in her usual insightful way.

A number of years ago in a good-bye thread to our poster Eloher, Tevai wrote “Know just how much you made the world a better place for a bunch of people you knew in person...and for us all. You will be missed by so many.”

Tevai’s own generous words to a poster she called friend can be echoed back to express how so many will feel about her loss. Tevai, you indeed “made the world a better place” and will be “missed by so many”.

We will remember YOU always, Tevai, for your compassion, insight and joy of learning and sharing and helping.

Tevai’s partner said that “For many years she found [RfM] to be the most interesting place in town. Thank you all for making her life happier.” It is lovely to know that Tevai felt that way. I’m grateful for all the times I responded to Tevai’s posts and interacted with her on the board, and sorry for times I meant to but didn’t do so. I also very much regret now not having the opportunity to connect with Tevai in person some day, as I had always hoped.

I’m sure we all greatly appreciate Tevai for giving her time to be a helpful moderator and for her warm, friendly presence at RfM, showing kindness to all.

I wish to extend most heartfelt condolences to Tevai’s partner who undoubtedly is deeply mourning his great loss. I hope he knows that the thoughts of many are with him and Tevai’s family at this most sad time.

Thank you Tevai. For everything.

“Yehi zichra baruch” - “May her memory be a blessing.”



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/14/2023 09:47PM by Nightingale.

  
  

Thanks for updating us, NG

What sad news.
Thank you for this lovely tribute, Nighty. I've been wondering if she was OK since her husband died. She wasn't around a lot after that.

I liked especially when she talked about where she lived since I lived in that area a long time too. She took an interest in us all. Thank you for all you did for RfM, Tevai!

That is a beautiful tribute Nightingale. I’m so sorry to hear of Tevai’s death, she truly was one of the most interesting members of our RFM family. I always found her to be sincere and thoughtful, and seemed to be genuinely kind. What a loss for us all.

Thank you, NG, for sharing such sad news in such an empathetic and sincere way. I have often thought you and Tevai had much in common.

She is missed by all of us

She is definitely missed.

Truly sad news indeed.

Very sad news.

Her memory is indeed a blessing. We will miss her many talents here.

I am very sorry to hear of that. I had been thinking that it was a while since she last responded to a post, although she could go for long periods of time without responding.

Thank you for the lovely tribute, Nightingale.

This is such sad news. She was such an interesting person and I looked forward to getting to hear more of her stories. I love that she was a trash picker upper. Thank you for letting us know and writing such a sweet memorial.

Beautiful tribute to a beautiful soul, Nightingale. She came across indeed one of the wisest, kindest people on this board and I always read what she wrote.

Adieu Tevai.

Sad news indeed.

Oh, no. How sad. I'm very sorry to hear this news.

My condolences go out to all who loved her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2023 09:08AM by Greyfort.

This is a huge loss to our little community. She did so much even with her declining health. Her husband wrote an email to us on how much the people here meant to her. We have met so many wonderful people who post and moderate on Recovery from Mormonism. She was great. A sad time for us.

So very sorry to hear of Tevai's death. She was a brilliant defender of her faith; and was always tolerant of those of us who are more...err.. confrontational. She is a huge loss to the board. She was a light. May she rest in peace.


HH =)

Condolences to her family and friends. Rest In Peace, Tevai.

Sad news indeed.

Thank you Nightingale for the heartfelt tribute.

Such sad news. She will be missed.

So sad to hear of this news. She was a supportive friend on this board.

Condolences to all of her family and friends.

“May her memory be a blessing.” says it all. I know it will.

I am sad to hear about this. She was always kind and supportive. All of the best good vibes to her family and friends.

I wish for her to come back as a very much wanted child loved beyond words.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/15/2023 03:49PM by Elder Berry.

Most excellent!  I heartily upvote!!!

Sometimes EB drops empathy bombs that explode all over the place.

A great tribute to a great person.

Lot's Wife Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Sometimes EB drops empathy bombs that explode all
> over the place.

I know. That one got to me again today, just like the first time all over again.

Very sad news. I'll miss her.

Thanks for letting us know about this, Nightingale. What I'll remember most about her was when I mentioned the town of my birth (Tujunga) once on a post, she knew where that town was. Not all that many people, both on and off of this Board, knew that. Tevai, rest in peace--you did a great job here on Earth while you lived!

So sad. Thank you for posting this Nightingale. Tevai was a light here and I always looked forward to her unique perspective on everything. Condolences to all who loved her.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/16/2023 04:43PM by Lethbridge Reprobate.

Rest in peace. She was a good soul and greatly added to the forums here.

This is very sad news.

I've been thinking of Tevai all weekend. Someone I never knew in person but wanted very much to maybe meet some day, someone whose participation and contributions here I enjoyed immensely.

My eyes are welling up re-reading all your heartfelt comments here.

I'm imagining T off somewhere discovering all the secrets of the universe, which would delight her very much.

I hope she knew even a smidge of how well thought of she was by us.

Our great loss indeed. Tevai had so much more to write...

She seemed like someone who really enjoyed helping people understand. She even gave much grace here that confused people. She saw the higher purposes people could have reached for. I don't know that her knowing how well we thought of her would have made her happier than she was here in this space for helping.

I was very sad to read this. Tevai and I "met" on Exmo-social and communicated by email quite a bit in the early 20-teens. Occasionally we'd talk on the phone. I learned a lot about her life and although she was a part of the Hollywood scene (albeit behind the scenes), she was very private and valued her anonymity.

She was a writer and lover of books. She sent me a story she wrote which I'll have to dig out and read again. One time she was telling me about this great chocolate company she loved and sure enough I got a box of those chocolates in the mail. She had a mystical outlook on life and loved her (parentheses). LOL. She wrote crazy long emails.

Over the years we lost touch somehow and now I wish I had reached out more. I just looked through some of her emails that I saved and it makes me sad. I hope she went peacefully.

RIP Tevai. You were an amazing human being.