Posted by:
Numbers is a holy Bible book
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Date: June 27, 2023 10:21PM
If annual baptisms fall below 200,000 per year the sheeple along the Mormondom corridor of Arizona to Idaho will have more wonderment on what's going on. What the Church can do in Africa, and almost nowhere else, is follow the pattern of the 1980s (Chile, Phillipines, Peru, and a few other places) in a quiet manner. That's when there was all sorts of "unchristlike" activities going on with baseball baptisms, kiddie dunking, etc. all over the world & the Brethren really did try to reign this in & it resulted in so many of these places seeing their baptism numbers down to a third or less as the mission leaders cracked down.
All they need to do to manufacture 200,000+ baptisms per year is put in place some quiet program in isolated areas where do the manufacturing. Such deception, even in the 2023 internet era, could work for decades.
One idea I thought of was to setup a program of CES coordinators whose job was to go setup seminaries/institutes in very isolated villages & to recruit missionaries in Nigeria, Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, South Africa, and other countries to work as these coordinators. Each coordinator would be called as a District President & report directly to some handler in some satellite office of the Area office. These handlers would simply be trainers & process/paperwork handlers. They'd get private 1:1 training on their duties and then do 1:1 training with these coordinators. The coordinators would be working as "independent contractor" and bonus eligible where they get bonuses for every branch president that gets hired + every new convert that signs up for Seminary/Institute.
The key to getting the baptisms would be those bonuses. How it could be kept under wraps for decades would be through hiring the right people (i.e. looking for people who are Spirit-savvy, not tech-savvy), keeping the paperwork/processes simple, following the processes strictly, and keeping the real dirty work at a very far distance. These coordinators would be the only ones having contact with the branch presidents & its these branch presidents who would be filling out the paperwork & submitting to the coordinators. These coordinators would not have any ties to Utahans, any LDS relatives, and not be internet-savvy & become very incentivized to keep everything hush-hush. In the satellite offices the trainers would be isolated from each other & likewise not have close ties to anyone in the worldwide church.
Suppose you have 4 satellite offices with 5 trainers each over 20 regional coordinators apiece. If each regional coordinator manufactures 250 numbers per month then you could have 100,000 numbers manufactured per month. They only need about a tenth of that amount now to achieve the goal they'd want to maintain.
So, I'd guess they'd have 3 such offices in 3 separate Areas, 12 trainer/handler total, these 12 all work under some admin manager that reports directly to some Apostle & that Apostle is just one of a small handful in-the-know. If each trainer has 15 regional coordinators under them then that's 180 total, and about 100 as a goal for each regional coordinator (and their network of phantom branches) & you'll easily maintain 10,000 per month.
They could do plenty of rotation of districts as they hire around 10 marginal newbie RM's each month and close out their districts when they quit or get canned & just keep it all quiet. Every once in a while they might get some former Zone Leader sneak in who really has a testimony and they just don't seem to have enough faith to get 100 honest converts per month and they don't get the big paydays of the bonus programs. In such cases they'd just quietly remove them from the program when they don't produce numbers. At the same time some other guys will get wise to how it works and just fill out the paperwork as they were trained, watch the bonus checks flow in, and make adjustments as needed. For example, if they are given a goal of 100 new converts signing up for Seminary each month & they report 200 then their Handler could tell them it looks fishy & that one of the Brethren would like to come take a tour of their branches in a few months to check it out & how would they like that. In such cases they'd figure out that they'd better stay with the program and get their numbers back to an expected range.
So, knowing that a game like this is possible is why I think its laughable to look at LDS inc stats on membership, especially convert baptisms. Yeah its always possible that they aren't playing some game like this. But look at what they did with finances using Ensign Peak Avisors.