I hope I can cough up a few of the examples of Mormons misusing words by attaching only one meaning to them. Lemme see... Here are a couple before I forget:

VIRTUE -- only one meaning in Mormonism: hymen. "Girls, protect your virtue with your very lives!" Church leaders have seldom even talked in terms of one leading "a virtuous life" (unless it is an object lesson that ends with a sexual message). They seldom even speak of things like honesty as being a virtue. Mormons are consumed with sex, but never acknowledge it. It is just a cudgel used against females, mostly the young ones, and talked about in hushed tones and weird euphemisms.

MODESTY -- The way a girl dresses. Sleeveless blouse? "Immodest!!" Skirt that exposes some thigh? "Immodest!!" Again, it is only aimed at females, and again used as a cudgel, mostly with adolescent and teen girls, but also with women. I think it makes some "leaders" (such as they are) think of going down the hallway and wanking in some toilet stall. And, by God, it's the girl's fault, innit!?

MORALITY / IMMORALITY -- Sex. Basically, only sex. If something is discussed in the realm of the euphemism of morality in the church, the discussion is actually about sex. There are dozens of correct English usages, but in Mormonism, only one use.

Can you thi k of some other such golden words? I'm just a little thick today.

Truth®: Official version of Mormon history or Doctrine.

As opposed to, that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.

schrodingerscat Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Truth®: Official version of Mormon history or
> Doctrine.
>
> As opposed to, that which is true or in accordance
> with fact or reality.

Interesting. The WatchTower Society (WTS) (JWs) refer to their faith as "The Truth". As in "we know the truth" (therefore, nobody else does know or practice it, whatever 'it' is).

Fact or reality doesn't much come into it, in my experience.

You can say you believe but when you call it truth the usual expectation is that there is a measure at least of proof to go along with what you're cooking.

The truth is if I don't work I don't get paid.

I can *believe* that if I go to a WTS meeting I am pleasing God but belief literally does not translate into *truth*.

I can believe that I can walk on water but the proof would be in the pudding on that one or, to be specific, the proof would be the callout to emergency services to rescue a sputtering damsel in distress. As in, my Belief was literally proven to be unfounded, therefore not Truth at all.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2023 05:57PM by Nightingale.

KNOW - not from verifiable evidence or established facts, but from tingly feelings.

CrispingPin Wrote:
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> KNOW - not from verifiable evidence or established
> facts, but from tingly feelings.

Another good one: I KNOW the church is true.

That one confounded me as an outsider. You could ask HOW. HOW do you know? Nobody would ever answer me specifically on that one.

It's sacred.

Oh. OK.

Nightingale Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> CrispingPin Wrote:
> --------------------------------------------------
> -----
> > KNOW - not from verifiable evidence or
> established
> > facts, but from tingly feelings.
>
> Another good one: I KNOW the church is true.
>
> That one confounded me as an outsider. You could
> ask HOW. HOW do you know? Nobody would ever answer
> me specifically on that one.
>
> It's sacred.
>
> Oh. OK.

Many years ago, my then Molly Mormon GF would use the I Know words when we discussed religion. She couldn't say how she knew only that she knew.

She had no avenue to go if the belief wasn't true.

We did break up but years later I still have fond memories of our times together where religion was the main topic.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2023 08:42PM by tumwater.

"I love each and every one of you."

1. You haven't so much as spoken to me.

2. Will you still love me when I'm an exmo?

I never heard the word "know" used in this way until I started visiting this board years ago. I think most Christians would use the word "believe" in its place.

"seal," "sealing" Mormons have used it to mean "bind," "connect" - The American Heritage Dictionary acknowledges that the Mormons have given this word a special (and otherwise unknown) meaning.

"evangelists" means "patriarchs"

Joseph Smith said that "golgotha" meant a "place of burial"

He also said that "sabaoth" (Hebrew "hosts,army") meant "the creator of the first day, the beginning and the end"

RPackham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> ...Dictionary acknowledges that the Mormons have
> given this word a special (and otherwise unknown)
> meaning.

Otherwise unknown - LOL


> Joseph Smith said that "golgotha" meant a "place
> of burial"

Otherwise known as {{ahem}} Calvary

The Mormon usage of the word "seal" originated in biblical terms meaning "power," or "authority," or "imprimatur." It was a king's signet ring, his royal "seal," and it was used to "seal" a commandment or a contract and, by extension, the covenant between God and his people. Thus

Revelation 7:2: "And I saw another angel ascending from the rising of the sun, having the seal of the living God; and he cried out with a loud voice to the four angels to whom it was granted to harm the earth and the sea."

John 6:27: "Do not work for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give to you, for on Him the Father, God, has set His seal.”

1 Corinthians 9:2: "If to others I am not an apostle, at least I am to you; for you are the seal of my apostleship in the Lord."

My guess is that JS was familiar with that word and adopted it into the Mormon lexicon whence it evolved into sealing a container or the like. It would be nice to know whether he originally knew the difference: whether he meant "seal" as in giving the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval in the biblical as closing or binding things together in the modern Mormon sense.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/02/2023 08:25PM by Lot's Wife.

As in, "LaDellia, how about we let it soak overnight?"

how about brother and sister? I always found that ridiculous and I refused to say it and I hoped nobody called me that. To me they are making it a more intimate relationship than it is. She isn't my sister whoever she is.

All the kids in my neighborhood call me Colleen. I'm 66. The 6 year old next door calls me Colleen. All 6 of the kids do. I succeeded in life in this one area. I have 2 sisters. That's all.

That brought back a memory from long ago. My parents had hired a repair guy to fix our dishwasher. My younger sister was waiting for a friend’s mom to pick her up for an activity. When she drove up, my sister said “Sister Smith is here!” Later, the repairman made a comment assuming that we were Catholic.

Seminary: A seminary, school of theology, theological seminary, or divinity school is an educational institution for educating students (sometimes called seminarians) in scripture and theology, generally to prepare them for ordination to serve as clergy, in academics, or mostly in Christian ministry. (Wikipedia)

In Mormonism, seminary is early morning classes before high school.

Priesthood is one of the most abused words in Mormonism.

Deacon: A deacon is a member of the diaconate, an office in Christian churches that is generally associated with service of some kind, but which varies among theological and denominational traditions. (Wikipedia)

In Mormonism, a 12 year old boy.

Priest: A priest is a religious leader authorized to perform the sacred rituals of a religion, especially as a mediatory agent between humans and one or more deities.

In Mormonism, a 16 year old boy.

Elder: In Christianity, an elder is a person who is valued for wisdom and holds a position of responsibility and authority in a Christian group. In some Christian traditions an elder is an ordained person who serves a local church or churches and who has been ordained to a ministry of word, sacrament and order, filling the preaching and pastoral offices. (Wikipedia)

In Mormonism, a boy over the age of 18.

This reminds me a few years back, as my son was about to start at BYU, parents were invited to go along for orientation.

I thought "Orientation" was going to be about things like where to park, where to eat, where to get books, and such.

Nope, orientation consisted of a 90 minutes with a few speeches and lame skits to explain the "Honor Code". And so I thought "OK, honor code must be about being honest, not cheating on tests, studying hard, etc.

Nope, Honor Code was about NOT HAVING SEX! Or you get kicked out. And how to rat on each other if you find out someone is doing it. We got to share that pleasant experience with our son. I dreaded the thought of him having to endure being there for next four years.

Surely the campus regulations of men's hair length and no facial hair were mentioned!!  As well as, women can't wear pants, dresses have to be a certain length, and nobody can chew tobacco!!!

What I never learned, not that I cared, was how the 'Enforcers' were selected...

It's not a pleasant memory, but my brain can dredge up scenes in the old JFS Fieldhouse of 'monitors' pulling male students out of registration lines with instructions to get a haircut and of having women kneel, to make sure their skirt lengths were long enough.  If the hem didn't touch the ground, off you went to go home to change.

Having to do that could really be a very severe penalty if the subject you were in line for had a limited number of classes.

I used to idly wonder why they never got around to polygraphing suspect students...

Worthy

Dictionary meaning:

adjective,wor·thi·er, wor·thi·est.
1. having adequate or great merit, character, or value:
a worthy successor.

2. of commendable excellence or merit; deserving of one's time, attention, interest, work, trouble, etc.:
a book worthy of praise;
a person worthy to lead.

Mormon meaning:
A sexually pure tithe payer

I'm not worthy.
Not pure and not a tithe payer.

I Know [I THINK] this (cult of Joseph Smith personality) 'church' is true (or false) and that the book of morons was made up and exists solely to lead people astray and take their money - and [all] their time - and have them chasing after a stick while a carrot whips them up for tithing settling & temple cleaning as their eternal happiness clearly vanishes and is banished! Aye men?

HONESTY - You only lie for the Lord.

ELDER: A spotty adolescent oik.

PROPHET -- A CEO, not a man who makes any predictions or shows evidence of inspiration.

KEYS -- Special powers from God that only the prophet has a full set of.

SWEET -- 1. Easily manipulated or 2. Lacking in physical attractiveness.

Good one!

RELIEF SOCIETY: Relief from what? And is it even a society?
GENERAL CONFERENCE: A conference is supposed to reflect a variety of views, often with Q&A afterward.
FIRESIDE: What fire?

Invite or invitation

Using these words implies that there's a choice on the part of the invitee. But in Mormonism, it's just a way that you're told what to do.


"We invite all members of the ward to sign up for tithing settlement."

Translation: If you don't sign up for tithing settlement this week, the ward executive secretary will call to tell you that the bishop has two openings available and will ask which time you would like.


"We invite all families in the ward to participate in cleaning the building."

Translation: Open the "ward cleaning" email. Take a look at the spreadsheet and notice that all families have been assigned a time to clean the building 8 times this year. If you can't make it, find another family to take your place.


"We invite everyone in the ward to partake of the blessings of paying generous fast offerings."

Translation: Every month, we'll send two twelve-year-old boys to your house to knock on your door or ring your bell until you answer. They'll hand you an envelope with your name on it where you can put a generous sum of money. The boys will stand in your foyer and watch as you complete the task.


During the middle of sacrament meeting years ago, my daughter who was sixteen at the time, was "invited" by a member of the bishopric in front of the entire congregation to come to the stand and bear her testimony. She had no prior warning that was going to happen and felt like she had no choice but to do what he "invited." It was a painful several minutes for everyone while she slowly walked to the front and then stuttered and stammered through her testimony. It was an awful thing to do to anyone, but to do it to a teen is really unforgiveable. My daughter has since left the church, but still says that incident makes the list as one of the most embarrassing and traumatic moments for her.

11, 12, 13, almost 15, 15, 16

Excellent.

Eternal

Idiots!

No beginning
No end
Only middle

The only thing eternal is the ["eternal") moment!

Mormons are taught, and believe, that eternity starts the moment you die.

That is too late to think, be, act, live!

"Eternity" = future moments

Eternity = give tscc money and time NOW
Eternity = promises of future promises

Eternal Companion

"Oh God." - Al Bundy

NAME REMOVAL. They want to scare you by making it sound like the biblical reference to having one’s name removed from the Book of Life. Plus requesting name removal makes it sound like they are in charge of the process, not you.

We already have a perfectly ordinary, well-understood word for terminating your relationship with an organization - resignation. By coincidence, this last week was the 49th anniversary of Richard Nixon’s resignation. Note how silly it sounds to say that Nixon sent a letter to Henry Kissinger requesting name removal.

Anti-Mormon