Warning: This is a 10-year-old article.

"In 2008, personal and professional circumstances brought me to Weber State University in Ogden, Utah. As I began to teach my usual rotation of courses using the BDQ [Behavior Description Questionnaire,] I noticed a striking trend with my students along the Wasatch Front—occurring with undergraduate and graduate (MBA) students, and with males and females. The preference for the avoidance style of conflict resolution was surfacing at a significantly higher rate than I had seen in the Midwest and Texas.

The first time this trend appeared, I was inclined to dismiss it as a mere statistical anomaly—an outlier unique to just one class. However, by the third semester, the pattern was clear and unmistakable. There was something different about this student body. So I began to systematically collect additional empirical data that would allow me to confirm and explore what leads my Utah students to prefer the avoidance style....

....In other words, the Mormon students who grew up along the Wasatch Front overwhelmingly trend toward passive-aggression in their response to conflict resolution."

https://sunstone.org/passive-aggression-among-the-latter-day-saints/

What has been your experience with passive aggression among Mormons in Utah and the Morridor?

Mormons are very big in “the spirit of contention is of the devil.” Civility in disagreement, especially about religion, but it spills over to general behavior, is the exception, not the rule.

The rule is passive aggression with intermittent explosions of hostility, though they are generally tamped down rather quickly. With a return to passive aggression. At least that was my experience.

The movie Fargo had a lot of Mormony passive aggression. It made me wonder how much of that aspect of Mormonosity stemmed from the Scandinavian cultural background of so many early converts.

Now there's something fun from my Swedish heritage to brag about!

But does it make sense? Is there something in that culture that predisposes people to passive aggression as opposed to, well, more direct ways of solving problems?

I have no idea and couldn't even speculate.

All I know is I got my cankles from my Swedish grandfather who had a weird accent.

Heck, my Swedish relatives couldn't figure out their biggest problem: having a kid every 9 months and 10 minutes.

> . . . having a kid every 9 months
> and 10 minutes.

I'm aware of at least one elderly gentleman on this website who would be astonished that it took a full ten minutes.

Pee break

Well, I guess we all have to work with what we've got.

Comes from the bland diet and too much time inside.

Get outside in the weather and eat more Spicy food.

Dealing with Facts as they exist rather than as one would believe or prefer them to be is the best way to move forward/ resolve situations

So that might partially explain the above bc I believe Mormons are challenged - deficient in dealing with Facts..

I wonder how that works in Mormon oriented business situations…

I'll use my mom and her long time "assigned" home teacher of 15 years. My mom still doesn't understand that friendship and fellowship in the Mormon church is not natural and genuine but forced and assigned. Despite having people come into one's home and talk about family, interests, and this and that; it's nothing more than a "boring" chore or nuance to being a priesthood holder.

This ph holder finally found a way to drop my mom from his assigned duty (she's a widow). He drove my mom's SUV on his property and crashed it into a tree. While he was willing to pay for the damaged door (the SUV slid into a stump in an effort to pick up donated firewood) he was livid that my mom reported the accident to her insurance. He was even more floored that my mom didn't want her vehicle repaired at an alley mechanic but a reputable repair shop. He paid for insurance deductible, but then tried to cancel the check after my mom deposited into her bank account.

My mom was called into the stake center and met with one of the councilors. She was told that due to her selfishness and stubborn pettiness that she would not have a home teacher until she agreed to stop her legal proceedings against an honorable holder of the priesthood. Moreover, her legal action had caused undue gossip and back-biting that the stake president had no other option but to assign this ph holder to another ward. She was asked to consider writing him an apology letter for causing him distress and to apologize to the ward during F/T meeting.

My mom refused and then told the stake presidency what really occurred. He listened and wrote some notes about the mishap. He excused himself and apologized to my mom about the entire matter.

My mom still sees the ph holder at ward functions. She says hello and he walks by her. He walks past her and says hello to a person standing behind her. That's his passive aggressive way of dealing with my mom.

Good for your mom! She refused to be intimidated.

Bishop, I will write him two apology letters: 'F' and 'U'.

That the men are the ones with all the power and that they are the head of the home, let alone messygoop's mother. She was to do what the priesthood leader said and then the stupid person in the SP office called her in and tried to pull the same thing on her. A widow!

I was taught to follow my leaders and look where it got me. When my dad kept asking did I know he was gay (I was told not tell my parents and this was after he had left me) and I wouldn't answer for many years. When I told him some of what they told me, he was furious. He said now I understand.

Everyone always thought my dad was the head of the household if you look from the outside in. My mom got by using passive aggression to be the boss. We didn't figure this out for a long, long time. My sister is the one who did. It worked for her.

Many mormons or those raised as mormons are passive aggressive.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/13/2023 11:02AM by cl2.

I think that was true for many women back in the day. They didn't really have much power, so they used what they had. My mom was WWII generation, and she would give the silent treatment if she was unhappy with me. What she never really figured out was that, being an introvert, the silent treatment was never a punishment! lol I could always wait her out.

Back in the day when basketball was a part of mormon men's sports, I overheard one man tell another man to "back off or you will need four new tires to get home."

This is very common in authoritarian regimes.

Look at cultures like Japan, where the Samurai had carte blanche to behead any peasant on a whim. Peasants learned how to resist in covert ways. I see the inefficiency, incompetence, foot-dragging, and backhanded compliments.

Mormons live in an authoritarian world, where they must obey the whims of out of touch geriatric leaders, bishops who ask intrusive questions, and "priesthood" holders. They learn ways to resist without being obvious.

Another reason not to hang around Mormons. I've disfellowshipped most of the Mormons I once knew. I still have a few Mormon friends who are actually genuine people in spite of their religion. I think many of them don't believe the nonsense, but stay in for family or business reasons.