I had sex with a few females prior to dating my future wife, the best looking girl/woman that I was ever with. My thought at the time was, I'm giving her 3-4 weeks to have sex with me or I'm done. Well, we starting having sex, and since she wasn't a total psycho, I married her. I probably would not have gotten married if we didn't have sex.

Don't you want to figure out she's not a psycho before you have sex?

Or did the HG vouch for her?

Well, a psycho can actually be fun in the sack.

It's the aftermath you have to worry about.

You must have overwhelmed her with your charm.

Oh my!

This will never get old. Bless you for providing the reminder.


I don't understand the point of coming here, talking about an unhappy marriage like this? Do you want to be given permission to divorce her, Cafeteria? Based on just what you've said here in this thread and a few others you have made, you seem fixated on sex and dissatisfied with your wife.

You wouldn't have married her if you hadn't been thinking with your junk? For her sake, let her go. Let her be with someone who actually wants to be with her. There you go. Permission granted.

I agree with you. I wanted to ask why he was still married.

Sex is a contributing factor, what really creates that hellish ride into adulthood is lack of grey matter and controlling our emotions until we get out of our twenties.

Hell, if I had full grey matter by the time I was 18 with a healthy dose of logic, my life story would be on a whole different level.

Alas, we humans would be better humans if we were not humans.

Well said.

Last night I was watching PBS and they were highlighting the upcoming Ken Burns film "The American Buffalo" which will be shown on Oct. 16 - 17.

Seeing what humans did to the buffalo and indigenous people was hard to watch, and I only saw small pieces of the film. Made me feel bad for being a human, the species that destroys everything around it until it's all gone.

Lot's of species do that. Think of bacteria in a petri dish.

The irony, what differentiates humans from simpler life forms, is that we can see that we are destroying our own environment and yet can't seem to stop.

I'm reminded of a woman I saw in an emergency room (I was there with a friend...) who was seated in a wheelchair with a small canister labeled 0₂ in her lap, with a tube running from the canister to the nasal inserts that were dangling from one ear strap, smoking a cigarette...

Sex made my wife have a baby.

>> Well, we starting having sex, and since she wasn't a total psycho, I married her. I probably would not have gotten married if we didn't have sex. <<

I wonder how she feels about sex and marriage with you.

Based on your post about drooling over girls at church and this one, I feel sorry for her.

Wanting the forbidden sex was definitely a factor when I was looking for my "eternal partner" at BYU. We got married without knowing each other very long. I lucked out but not everyone does.

At any rate, thank you for addressing my question.

What was the question you asked?

Genuinely curious. Maybe next time, if you want your intent to be more clear, try a question mark and one of the big W's. Things like What, Why, Who, Where, and How.

Well, most folks here aren't fond of the Mormon Church, with reason, and at times that feeling extends to people who still attend.

I think that one of the major beefs many feel is the hypocrisy they note in church, with leaders and members alike.

There's also a strong distaste for the church (understandably), the oppressive rules and especially the imperatives held out as ideals that nevertheless become onerous expectations and even demands.

So any hints of those characteristics or anyone being active in a church that has hurt people here and continues to do so to their loved ones and friends and even to strangers can certainly cause strong reactions. Being seen as supportive of the Mormon Church here isn't likely to make for the friendliest of visits.

And in general posting something that comes across as creepy isn't the best move either, especially connected to all things LDS, an organization that has plenty of baggage, past and present, in the creep department.

If a poster can find a way to make their point without seeming salacious or coarse that helps. (Big duh I know).



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 08/17/2023 07:01PM by Nightingale.

I know three former bishops and one current mission president who were having premarital sex. The Mormon youth bang each other. More than anyone would care to admit.

The church is a joke. Joseph was banging and very possible Heber C Kimball and Brigham Young had affairs on their missions in England. Churches are full of hypocrites.

It certainly does.

I mean, people can make some really funny faces when engaged in the act.

...but science has learned to do so without being all icky, an' stuff...

What about when a male studderer has sex with a female epileptic ?

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> What about when a male studderer has sex with a
> female epileptic?

Is he "speaking in tongues?"

I've told this before here on the phorum, even if long before. This whole subject makes me feel a bit queasy. When I was a recently returned missionary at BYU making plans to marry, I found that my wife-to-be had been having sex with other guys at BYU just to see what she was, or had been, missing. The blow was devastating . We re-started our relationship again from the beginning, taking up too much of my time. But I really loved her, and finally agreed to marry her. After the marriage, I found out even more bad stuff, and came very close to annulment. But now we've been married for 53 years. You wouldn't think I'd still even think about it, but the wound was too deep. And I find myself wishing that I hadn't gone on my mission at all, so I could have been having my own sexual experiences. Truth is, I was too into the church to have done that. Now that I've resigned my membership (2009), she has thoroughly taken over the Mormon role, and goes to enough church for three or four people. I wonder if she ever remembers that she rejected years of church, primary, young women, etc., at least once to have promiscuous sex with a total stranger. It was dangerous behavior, especially at BYU. I do sometimes find myself still wondering why I did marry her when I found that she didn't want to to go into a lasting relationship without experimenting on the side. Like I said, the wound is deep and troublesome, and I've never truly bounced back. I hope she has.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/17/2023 01:18PM by cludgie.

You know, I started writing about being released directly from the mission field to the Y and how I met my temple bride, but there were so many details between the release and meeting her, that it deserves a book...

Suffice it to say that she told me, in 1967, that before she joined the church a year earlier, she'd eloped with a boyfriend, and got married by a justice of the peace, but then the two sets of parents convinced the crazy kids to annul the marriage.

In 2016, a couple of months after her funeral (which I didn't attend), I was visiting our oldest daughter, the still-TBM, and there were a couple of her funeral programs on a bookcase next to the dinner table.  In glancing at one of them, I noticed photos of her on the back page, one of which showed her in a full-on formal wedding gown.  I remember my head jerking back, in that typical 'what the fungus!' reaction many of us have when a window of reality shatters ...

Turns out that she and her high school boyfriend had a traditional formal church wedding and that a couple of months after being married, he divorced her.  I went 46 years believing her lie, a totally unnecessary lie...

Oh yeah, I never asked her to marry me; we met on Halloween of 1967, had our first date about 10 days later, and at Christmas, sitting in her parent's kitchen after a day at Disneyland, she told her parents that we were engaged.

My dick said, "Hey, sounds good to me!"  And since in our early 20s, men pay way too much attention to their dicks, I just shrugged my shoulders and went along with it.

Heterosexual RMs who try to *appear* to be faithful to the church are dumber than tree stumps.

Cludgie, as painful as your experience has been, my very strong feeling is that if someone feels the need to explore or experiment, the time to do it is *before*, not after marriage. I've heard too many stories of husbands or wives who stray after marriage. Your wife chose *you* and honored her wedding vows. I hope that you can take comfort in that.

I don't think she *chose* me. I left out huge parts. During 1969 Christmas break, she had a bad vaginal infection, and went to the doctor. He explained that since she had been having lots of sex, she had that common infection that some women get after marriage. He -- quite unethically -- told her mother. My wife was, of course, mortified and horrified that her mother knew. So when the guy came to meet her family at Christmas, she went out and broke up with him. He was very angry. But obviously this shows that she was serious about this guy, while always saying she hated him. "If you hated him so much, why did you carry on a sexual relationship with him for weeks?', I asked. "I don't know," she said. "I just did. But it didn't mean anything." There in just a couple of sentences she said the two most common things that people say when they are found to be cheating.

Fast-forward a bit, she tried to tell me about it in clumsy ways while I was still on my mission. I didn't get it because I'm not a mind reader. Then she was suddenly engaged to a grad student who was 10 years older than she. The wedding was scheduled to take place in the Logan temple, but four days before the wedding, and after two wedding showers, he called it off. Her mother had to stand at the chapel the night of the scheduled reception and wave people away.

Toward the end of my mission, I got a nice card from her, explaining everything that happened about her supposed marriage, a bit of small talk, her signature, and a tiny P.S. saying "I still love you." Of course she did, now that everything disintegrated. I told her I was not interested and had moved on. Truth is, I WAS interested and hadn't moved on. When I arrived at BYU, a friend said that he had something to show me, and took me to a house in Provo, and out steps my former girlfriend. She ended up telling me lots, but not all, of the story. She told me how much she hated the guy she was having sex with, and was now happy she didn't marry the other girl. Fast-forward lots, I had to completely re-evaluate her. I still loved her, and no, I hadn't gotten over her. Yada-yada-yada, something happened and we got married in the LA temple, the most butt-ugly of the existing temples at the time. She didn't choose me, see? Quite the opposite: When her world was pulled out from beneath her, she got desperate and went back after me. I am both a victim and a blessed individual. But when she says something dumb, I go after her. I can't tolerate her banging on about things that aren't true and affect me. For instance, her best friend got married, and then joked about getting the same common vaginal infection. They both laughed, and then my wife said, "That happened to me, too, we we got married." I hate that kind of thing.

But "choose me?" No. It was more me choosing her, and deigning to marry her after enduring a lot of embarrassment. I was a cuckold before even getting married.

This would and did wound me a lot and it will continue to wound me. My husband used to bring home his boyfriends to meet me or I'd find out he had a new one when we'd have a strange charge on our credit card. I found out before, too, as I've said a million times. After what we were taught and what I believed was right, this was one of the worst blows of my life. And we did separate and we now share the house together. We see other people than ourselves!!!!! I will never forget the night he told me he is gay. I was actually standing in his apartment looking out the window at the Logan Temple. I still remember the thought "I'm not my mom's little girl anymore."

My boyfriend has had many sex partners. I dated him at Thiokol and he told me about the prior ones in case I'd be able to get over it. He told me 18. I didn't marry him. He got divorced 19 years ago and I contacted him. He used to brag about all the hot chicks and then I found out who some of them were. Hot, my ___. I told him it didn't make him look sexy or hot by telling me these things because I wanted to do what you said you wanted to do. I told him I'd go out and have sex with a bunch of guys and then we'd get back together. Of course, I won't do it. It isn't me.

My "ex" has had over 1000 sex partners and he doesn't know most of their names. I will never understand either one of them.

I do know that they wanted someone who was not having sex with a bunch of people. They both thought they deserved a virgin when they married. Go figure.

I understand. I'll always be in pain over this issue.

Cafeteria Mormon Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My thought at the time was, I'm
> giving her 3-4 weeks to have sex with me or I'm
> done.

That's a pretty quick timeline even for a non-Mormon.

Just sayin'.