In a post dated early in the
morning (mormoning?) of Aug
31, 2023, in response to a
concern voiced by Messy,
having noticed Elder Berry
has not been posting, EB said:
------------------------------


      "More than a break.  I'm at a point where this site, unfortunately, is now more a liability than a benefit to me personally.

      "My wife and children know I come here.  They know how I feel about the church.  They accept me.  I'm working on accepting myself.  As mentioned, my anger has become an autoimmune response, and I ache for my family to leave the church.

      "I need to focus on reducing my anger, inflammation, and emotional response to the church.  This is why I posted this thread.  Could I just live with it?

      "I don't think I'm able to be as helpful.  Maybe in the future I'll return.  For now and in the near and far future I don't think I can find peace coming here.

      "It has been an amazing ride.  This site singlehandedly helped me pull myself up from my bootstraps when my celestial dreams were crushed.  I will always be grateful for many people here, living and dead.  And this is the way of humans, coming and going as we do.

      "I hope Messy, that you have a great rest of your life.  I've read your struggles and loved your stories of the insensitive and misguided, violent, and abusive very elect.  I hope your mother is doing well and that she has the Mormon end of life that will be good for her and you.

      "Take care and take care RfM.  You will be missed by a soul so divided.

      "P.S.:  We are moving to Utah in the near future, and my youngest is getting married in the temple later this year.  These challenges without RfM will be herculean but I think with less anger, I might be able to do them on my own.  Wish me luck!  Love and kindness to you all, even The Cat in the Box."

I do indeed wish him luck. Hope it works out. Much love to him from Paris.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/31/2023 03:12PM by Soft Machine.

Hoping EB has a happy life of acceptance and less anger ahead. He has contributed much here. He's helped others more than he knows.

Best wishes. You've got a tough row to hoe. We'll keep the light on for you.

EB

You're top notch. I wish you and you're family well.

Thanks for taking the time to respond. I and others appreciate it.

-Messy

I still come here. I'm sorry that your family isn't to the point that you are. You have been an excellent father and husband for them. Sent them all on missions!!! And now the temple marriages.

It was harder on me standing outside than I thought it would be. Not that going inside would help, but she married a wonderful guy who isn't an over the mormon. I adore him as does her father. He is very accepting. Religion doesn't become involved even when we are with his family, who we know very well.

I don't really know that I will ever get over the anger no matter how much therapy I get or how far I'm come with what happened to my life.

Like someone said--HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

EB, you will be missed. I hope that you feel free to drop by for however long for a good vent, if you need it. I wish you well, and mostly, I wish you peace.

He is a sweet man. He will always have a spot on my window seat.

I've been out long enough that the church I despised no longer exists. They don't do pageants or see the BoM or BoA as historical documents. Without that literalism, it's a different church.

I can see EB's point. They feel even more free to exploit the rubes who remain. They can do that because they have so much wealth that attrition doesn't matter. So it's kind of like battered wife syndrome. Members invent reasons to justify the way they are treated.

However, the outside world is not so blind. The church's public image has completely changed. Now they are great and abominable.

It's all my fault. I drove him off this board and back to church.
I accept full responsibility.

LOL. Thanks for taking me back, PHIL.

And thank you all for your well wishing. I reciprocate it.

I think of this as 20 years of therapy, and I have to move on to progress. I hope RfM is around for 20 years more. It will always be a part of me.

You think you'll be allowed to simply leave anytime you "feel like it"?
Many posters have left this board in the past and were never heard from again.

The old saying however it goes---"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference," doesn't really always work to bring peace. Knowing the difference makes it harder, not easier. Knowing you can't change something is not the road to peace.

For that reason I find it harder and harder to watch the news. People say it is so important to be in the know. Is it? What if the down side of knowing is slow working poison?


I wish EB some peace even if it's only a really good half hour with a chocolate cake. I am in awe of EB's high wire walk with such grace and style.

"Knowing you can't change something is not the road to peace."

I suppose that makes us all road kill. Mormonism was the truck that hit me. I hope I at least scratched the paint.

Weick's Dictum

I've enjoyed many of EB's posts. Sad to see him go.