Posted by:
Nightingale
(
)
Date: July 19, 2011 01:19AM
On Ron's Sheri Dew thread, NormaRae said:
"I know she [Dew] dated Dallin Oaks during the time between his polygamous wives, so obviously he didn't ask her [to marry him].
http://exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,232398,232966#msg-232966I didn't know they had dated. Isn't he a lot older than her? I'd think it would be kind of embarrassing for either one of them to break up at that level (of leadership in the Mormon Church). Awkward.
I met Sheri Dew once - the kind of meet where you're in a crowd and she says hello and shakes your hand. I was at an RS meeting in SLC one day. I thought she was a great speaker, motivational, inspirational even in that context. She was attractive, funny and came across as warm and friendly. Or maybe it was just me, doused in the Spirit - or something. I used to pretty much think everything was great so usually enjoyed whatever I was doing.
I know that others here know her and about her much more than I do but that was my impression of her - true enough, only based on one meeting though.
Some are (inevitably) speculating that she is lesbian, which may explain why she is unmarried into her 40s/50s in a church that pushes early marriage. My guess is that she is a strong independent woman and it's just really bad luck for her that she is a member of the Mormon Church, that doesn't as a rule uphold such qualities in women. I don't find that a majority of men seem to like independent women (in my experience anyway). It's as if independence is not comfortable or predictable and therefore not as desirable - I'm not sure. But that's even more so the case in Mormonism, where obedience is a high ideal. If you are an obedient female you get married young, breed multiple children and look after the home. Sheri got on with her life which to date hasn't included marriage.
The fact that she has been given the high (female) callings she has is quite remarkable, given her single status, in a church full of very old men at the top that value the obedient homemaker ideal, which she is not.
But really - my question is about Dallin Oaks. She dated him? Really? For how long?
In JW land, where I dwelled for a few yrs back in the day, they are very strict about dating. Basically, there is no casual dating allowed. The principle is that a guy isn't even supposed to ask you out unless he is seriously interested in you as a potential wife. You are both supposed to decide within three dates whether you have that level of interest in each other or not. If not, you are supposed to stop dating. If so, you are supposed to proceed quickly to marriage (just as with Mormonism - where early marriage supposedly precludes pre-marital intimacy). JWs are far more strict in this regard than are LDS, apparently, as there is little to no opportunity to be alone where temptation can overcome you. There is no hand holding allowed unless you are very serious about marrying each other and chaperones are strongly encouraged in order to help you stay pure until marriage. You're not allowed to kiss even until you are engaged and even then only "chastely".
But wait - this is about Sheri Dew. I'm not usually a gossip-monger but this one intrigues me. How would they have met? How long did they date? Who decided to break up? Was the other party broken-hearted?
Is there life after Dallin Oaks?