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Posted by: Twinker ( )
Date: November 25, 2023 09:27AM

by Bronnie Ware

Has anyone read this book that was recommended to me?

A review:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3377309/#:~:text=1)%20“I%20wish%20I%27,myself%20be%20happier”%20(p.

Spoiler:
#1 “I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 25, 2023 10:13AM

#1: it’s not courage, I’m just lazy!

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Posted by: Happy_Heretic ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 08:42AM

I, too, am a self made man. Shouldn't have hired such cheap labor.


HH =)

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Posted by: SwissMed ( )
Date: November 25, 2023 10:16AM

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3377309/#:~:text=1)%20“I%20wish%20I%27,myself%20be%20happier”%20(p.

I have no idea what mostly might have influenced me to get out of Mormonism while it was still an approved word.

The greatest regret I might have is giving them all that rent-free space inside my head!

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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 26, 2023 02:47PM

I wish I had spent more time with my kids. Knowing what I know now, is that when he boys were little, they knew I was dad. One of them crawled all the way into the living room at about midnight, scared from a bad dream, and I was up.

He crawled beside me, I picked him up, and went to the couch, and we both fell asleep. We woke when my ex came in, and put him back to bed.

Bonding with your kids in such a way, is how I did it. The kids never made that connection until we both fell asleep. Being close to 'Dada' was what I miss most. They (all three) bonded to me this way.

Bonding. I wish I had bonded with them more.

And! No, I'm not dying!



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/26/2023 03:10PM by lousyleper.

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Posted by: moehoward ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 11:50AM

I think a lot of us feel some guilt about not spending more time with their children when they were young. I had to work, probably too much. And I try not to think about daycare. I have 7 grandchildren now and I ALWAYS have time for them.

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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 12:07PM


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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 12:43PM

But I'm glad they really didn't see mom and dad fight much. It was mostly in our room we fought. We were loud when yelling at each other.

They were crying from hearing it though, every time we came out.

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Posted by: Lot's Wife ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 03:29PM

That is very hard on kids. I'm sorry you all had to go through that.

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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 04:02PM

Believe me, arguing about beliefs with your spouse is hard. We both resigned, but she didn't receive her 'officially out' letter. Makes me wonder if she even sent it in.

My view was knowledge first, and of course she said faith first. I told her that I wasn't trying to be an intellectual, but she didn't take that view.

She is pioneer stock. It was interesting. I dragged her out. I wish I let her choose. She was there when. I got the M Priesthood, and she was there at the endowment.

I think we agree that we are not and never were compatible.

It's any reason that Spencer W. Kimball said that you should marry in the same religion. Mormonism, of course.

Apparently, Mormonism is the only thing that can be good for both spouses. What a crock.

Also, it was difficult for her, because she felt unwanted when I said I needed to be alone. In the end, I had chosen Buddhism, as it calms me.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2023 04:26PM by lousyleper.

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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 27, 2023 04:32PM

One would listen to soft classical music, The next would play with his little brother. They wanted peace. Peace and quiet. No fighting, nothing.

All of them preferred it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/27/2023 04:34PM by lousyleper.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: November 28, 2023 10:51AM

Monday Morning Quarterbacking. In this case, a list meant for helping the younger ones to up their game and achieve a regret-free old age. Not gonna happen.

I notice the two top regrets on the list focus a lot on quantity. I'd say Quality is the ace for ending up with the memorial gems you want to dominate the screen during life's final denouement.

There are a lot of choices to make in early life that often come with limited information as you are making said choices. You can't win. Finally in old age you have enough information to be able to see how your earlier choices fit into a bigger picture thus allowing you not be cheated out of your share of regrets. Good to forgive yourself if at all possible. I find it impossible. And forget about forgetting.


I do have a carefully curated list of regrets but they have nothing to do with the top 5 regrets listed. I never wanted the regular ones. My advice to the young is this. There is never enough time or resources to do all you need to or want to do as you dodge life's unexpected slings and arrows. Life just doesn't work that way. Go for quality. The brilliant serendipitous moments I treasure last about 11.5 seconds each leaving a glowing warmth. The regrets won't shut up.

And. Working a lot---what many say is too much--- made my life worth while. So, to each their own. Accomplishment should not be devalued.

The best chance any of us have is to work hard to see The Big Picture.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: November 28, 2023 06:09PM

Easy peasy:  Don't die!  That way, there's no planning or reflection needed.

And if it turns out you aren't successful in avoiding death, what's the worst that can happen?

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: November 28, 2023 06:29PM

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> And if it turns out you aren't successful in
> avoiding death, what's the worst that can happen?

You wake up and you're only in the telestial kingdom?

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Posted by: lousyleper ( )
Date: November 28, 2023 06:36PM

Bah. Handshakes and tokens will bypass security, and then we can roast. But we've been successful at the temple. Fool everyone in the celestial kingdom? Definitely possible!

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