I sent mine in 20 years ago. I still can't believe it was so long ago. It's funny, and ironic that my brains were so twisted that it all fell apart when I figured it out. My brain said 'Enough! No More of this!'. I was in for 10 years, then it all came crashing down.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2023 05:12PM by lousyleper.

I had to look it up, and it took me a while to find it. I wrote the letter and sent it to the local Bishop on May 14, 2009. That was 14 1/2 years ago. Wow.

Didn't know in 1983 I could resign. Enjoyed the captive audience in the "court: instead.

I resigned 22 years ago now; it was great to get the letter from SLC confirming that I was no longer a member (still have it; a nice souvenir)

I haven't practiced Mormonism for almost 35 years now -- one of the best decisions I ever made was getting out of that racket!!

Ex probably has it.

I've never got around to doing it - resigning formally. At first I didn't want to remind them of my existence. Then gradually I just didn't care. Once I stopped attending that was it for me. No need to make it formal. But my situation was different, not being BIC, so no Mormon ties.

Dec.4, 2006. Seventeen years ago tomorrow.

And for those who remember ‘Greg Dodge’ from letters back then, I still have mine :)

TG

Hi TG :) I hope all is exceptional with you and yours.

Hi Susan! An exmo life suits me just fine! Great to see you.

TG

I believe mine was from Dodge, but without it, I'm still wondering. I am not going to contact the church to find out.or to get another copy.

I am still on their membership rolls.

Me, too!

We’ll meet when we attend the tithing refund conference!

I walked away in the late 1970s, before we were allowed to resign (one had to request name removal, which was handled as a voluntary excommunication).

I stumbled across RFM sometime around year 2000, and learned here that resignation was now a thing. I sent mine in on Canada Day (July 1, effectively Canadian Independence Day) from the Great Plains, expecting it to arrive in SLC as close to July 4 (Independence Day) as possible, given that there is no mail delivery on the Fourth.

I'm not above engaging in a little symbolism. :)

I don't remember the year for sure - 2003 or 2004. I have the Greg Dodge letter somewhere.

Around 2005 I think. I still have my “You’re out of Dodge” letter tucked away somewhere. I was assisted in the process by Kathy Worthington, who graciously helped so many of us navigate the resignation process back in the day.

I formally resigned early in 2021-roughly a decade after I stopped believing.

I resigned in 2013. LDS members would not stop showing up unannounced at my door. It worked.

I think it was probably around 6 years ago.

My name and the names of my wife and kids still haunt the inactivity statistics.

I like to pretend that this bothers them somehow.

The church thinks I'm dead.

I'm not going to correct them.

22yrs ago

20 years ago. Left 42 years ago. Learned I could resign here on RFM.

  
  

1988… I was 30 years of age

I stopped going in the late 70s. I found out from the EList (closed down for many years now) that there was such a thing as resigning. It had never occurred to me. I was MORTIFIED that I had to have it notarized so I put it off for a while. In July of 2000 we had a Notary come to the house to handle some property paperwork and I thought it was the perfect opportunity. She was very confused. Very nice. Very very confused. She had never heard of anyone having to go to those lengths to get out of a church. Once I made her understand she was incensed and insisted on doing it for free.

I understand why people don't feel the need to resign. I really do. I felt hypocritical working for ExMormon.Org and not making the break official. Plus, I wanted to divorce myself from them on my own terms. I also liked knowing my legal rights when the asshat of a "bishop" showed up at my door and tried to tell me what I was going to do. Fat chance ******.

I would like to take a moment to remember a wonderful, caring, tireless woman named Kathy Worthington. She started Mormonomore.com and helped thousands of people learn their rights and resign. If someone got any crap, Kathy would call Greg Dodge and deal with the problem. She also did many things for the gay community in Utah and helped a lot of BYU students navigate the choppy waters. I miss her very much.

And I must add that Greg Dodge was a good egg. He did his job efficiently and would kick the locals in the butt when they refused to process paperwork. Cricket took him a Christmas tree one year but security confiscated it.

Those people were wonderful.

TG

I quit attending church ten years ago this coming January, but I still haven't resigned. At first, I didn't even think about it because I didn't want to rock the boat with my TBM husband any more than I already had. Now after a decade, I just don't see the need.

From the time I was born until I left the church in my mid forties, the church stole more than 1/7 of my life. It extorted thousands of dollars in tithing from me. I just can't expend the energy or give the church another ounce of power by jumping through any more of its hoops by officially resigning. The church doesn't make the rules for me anymore, even with resignation. I understand why some exmos may want to officially resign, but in my mind, I have officially resigned. As far as I'm concerned, any "choice" that I made at eight-years-old shouldn't require notarized letters or anything official to release me from it. I'm done when I say I'm done.

You pretty well summed it up for my current situation, and presented it well.

So for me its what want2bx said.

Sept. 2012. Bish called to ask if I was certain of my decision...I said yes....he said he'd waive the usual 30 day period for reconsideration ?....and processed it.

Jan. 2009

The local bishop, a friendly middle school maths teacher, wanted me to reconsider. But when I did resign, he wanted people to stay away from me because I had too much damaging information that I had exposed in my 21-page screed I gave to him. Ever notice how little Mormons know about their own religion? Hm.

When I told him to process the resignation, he held it for 3 months. Finally, I told him I'd sue him personally if he delayed it.

Later found out he moved out of the area. Fear... Fear of the truth?

The guiding principle regarding resignation from a religious organization (including la iglesia mormona) has its cornerstone in the Oklahoma State Supreme Court's decision in GUINN v. The CHURCH OF CHRIST OF COLLINSVILLE, which was handed down on January 17, 1989, with a rehearing denied in May of 1989.

If you're into details, the court's decision can be found at https://scholar.google.com/scholar_case?case=14957090786981708632&q=guinn+v.+church+of+christ+of+collinsville&hl=en&as_sdt=2006&as_vis=1

The point that the case settled is that a resignation is effective the instant it is received by an appropriate agent of the the religious organization, which includes a bishop and SP or, in the old days, Greg Dodge.

Thus, your resignation was effective when an appropriate official received it, not when you received "confirmation."  What, they're going to say you can't resign, or you didn't do it correctly?

What the resignation does, thanks to the Guinn case, is make it actionable, as in, you can sue the bastards if, after proper receipt of the resignation, they do anything that indicates they have any kind of (mystical) control over you.

This was the major point of the cited action: Mariann Guinn, a single woman and member of the defendant's religious organization, was fooling around with a man to whom she was neither plighted nor married.

When the elders of that church, who are also named as defendants in the action, found out about it, they told her to quit it. She didn't, and they confronted her again, telling her that they were going to advise the congregation of the church regarding what a tawdry slut she was for making Jesus cry due to her being so bawdy naughty!.


She wrote a letter and delivered it to them prior to the meeting where the elders planned to out her as a wanton hussy; her letter to them specifically stated she was resigning, and thus, she opined to them her conduct was no longer any consideration of theirs and should not be bruited about to the congregation.

But the elders of her former church very mormonishly decided they weren't subject to such a silly attempt to hide her venality, and one of them took the stand and described her misdeeds.

This was in a small town, and she suffered a public backlash, being labeled an adulterous harlot; smelling salts sales skyrocketed, and she walked around wearing a metaphoric Jezebel sign!  Ach du lieber, y quelle domage!

So she sued. The trial court agreed with her position that her resignation made the church elder's revelations to her former congregation pure gossip, which they had no 'right' (obviously they had the power...) to share, and having done so, they were responsible for her suffering. (Don't get me started on rights v. powers!)

The jury agreed with the fallen woman, and she was awarded $205,000 in actual damages and $185,000 in punitive damages, to which the trial court then added $44,737 in prejudgment interest. Nice haul, huh?!

On appeal, an appellate court reversed the judgment on the basis of the perceived standard that temporal courts held no sway over religious institutions.  But obviously, the state supreme court felt that what the court of original jurisdiction had done was fine and dandy.

This court verdict is why you hear stories about people attending their Court of Love, and just before the SP hands down the verdict, the guy hands over his letter of resignation. SPs know that they HAVE to stop any further action; they can't hand him the excommunication decree because of the Guinn case.

Well, physically, they can, but that leaves them potentially liable for whatever damages a plaintiff could allege he suffered and get a jury to agree with, not to mention the money it would cost the church to respond to/defend the case.

So... The instant one can prove that an appropriate official of the mormon church received notice of one's resignation, it is effective. If you mail your resignation with proof of receipt added to what you paid to mail it, that's good enough.

Why the church ever started (condescendingly) mailing out 'confirmations' of resignation is suspect, but they are apparently getting away from the formality of days gone by.

And then there's the notion that ghawd never revealed to the prophet just what to do with regard to a member's desire to resign! It's obvious doctrine that if one doesn't follow the gospel path, one is not going to the highest degree of glory.

With this in mind, why resign; ghawd already knows you're not of a mind to follow his commandments...  Well, obviously, the point is to create a buffer between you and what church wieners think they're allowed to do in terms of saving you from the consequences of following their orders.

Although turning the garden hose on church representatives still remains a viable option.

https://mormon-alliance.org/casereports/volume3/part1/v3p1c05.htm

Mr. Hancock and his wife requested "...our names be removed from the rolls of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints."

The SP refused and excommunicated him.

He then sued the church.

The result as reported above:

"About the end of January 1985, Kenyon Udall of Thatcher, Arizona, then Regional Representative, called Norman. Their fathers had served together on a high council and he offered his services as a family friend, saying, "I want to help straighten this out." Norman initially received this offer coolly since he assumed that Udall was acting as go-between for Turley and Oscar McConkie, the Church’s attorney in Salt Lake City. Norman was willing to discuss the case with him, however, and, when Udall asked to come to the house, willingly made an appointment. Norm was then preparing to file his response, responding to Turley’s motion and providing more details about the seriousness of the invasion of his privacy. As a sign of good faith, he showed this document to Udall and told him his plans to file the amendment the next day.

Udall asked him to "hold off a couple of weeks" and assured him that he’d seek out a way to resolve the difficulty. When he began negotiating a smaller settlement amount, it was the last straw.

"I don’t want your dang money!" Norman burst out. "I want to get your attention."

The light went on for Udall. "I’ll see what I can do," he promised. He later told a reporter, "I was afraid at first that he was out to hurt the Church, but he didn’t want that. ... He’s excited about [John’s mission]—just as I was when my son was getting ready to serve. I don’t think he has any hard feelings about the Church."

Norman gave him a copy of the amended complaint, and Udall sent it on to McConkie. Five members of the Quorum of the Twelve and Robert D. Hales, now an apostle but then president of the North American Southwest Area, approved a compromise: in exchange for dropping the suit, Norman’s cause for leaving the Church would be listed as his own request and his name would be "removed"; he would not be "excommunicated." Just a few days later, Udall called jubilantly to say, "We’ve got it worked out with McConkie."

Norman asked his son John to accompany him to the meeting with Turley in Phoenix. Turley showed him a newly written letter from Duane Bearer and the other members of the stake presidency announcing: "The decision of the court is that your name be removed from the records of the Church as you requested." The rest of the letter was essentially identical to the first and it was dated 4 March 1984, the date of the original court. In an almost-humorous piece of stage business, Norman signed a letter dropping the suit, then each man picked up his respective letter, simultaneously extended it to the other with one hand and took hold of the extended letter with the other, then simultaneously released the first document. The court ordered the case dismissed on 21 February."

As a result, the church changed its policies and no longer requires excommunication to formally leave.

But *stare decisis* was not established in terms of court action.

I don't have any evidence, but do have a huge amount of doubt regarding attempts after that date and prior to the Jan. 1989 finding by the Oklahoma Supreme Court.

Even after the court date, per LL's report, his bishop, in roughly 2003, refused to acknowledge his attempt to resign by not sending the letter on to SLC.  But of course, "legally" he was out the minute the bishop read it, and the bishop's action was actionable.

The bishop's action was an example of the conceit some dentists, lawyers, businessmen, etc., take upon themselves when called to be a shepherd of a mormon herd.


I doubt that I'm unique in refusing to resign in order to frustrate some member of my progeny dead-dunking me and then recounting to a no doubt rapt audience at F&TM about how they felt my spirit leap for joy...

I would no doubt allow it, because it would make them feel good that mom and dad are together, and that would be a family again.

But unfortunately, there is Matthew 22:28 killing it off. I don't doubt that I will see my kids again, but the family we use to be will not exist.

Maybe it will provide my kids something to do in Heaven. We'll see!

Perhaps that potential leaping of the spirit felt by ones progeny was due to the vibes being received from your floating essence to the cracking open of a beer can.

Which raises the question: In the CK, are there twist-off caps on bottles or lift tabs on aluminum (or gold, who can say?) cans?

Who knows for sure, but I have no doubt that whatever is opened in the CK will be promptly turned into Wine because we all gotta be just like Jesus.

Aye, and there'll be some Scots plenty pissed off if that's the case!

March of 2015 i received my Dodge letter. I requested resignation in December of 2014.

I found out about resigning on this website. Met an exmo group and they helped explain things. I sat next to Dave the Atheist at the restaurant. Great group. Didn’t know i could resign until then.

and I'm too lazy to do right now. I saw it about 1-1/2 years ago. It has been at least 10 years. I resigned because my daughter kept arguing with me about going back and I wanted to make a statement. I sent it around the middle of January and the bishop came by to tell me I was out on my dad's birthday.

I knew the bishop well and I knew he wouldn't give me a hard time about resigning. He brought me a cinnamon roll and he told me, "I'm not going to try to talk you out of this. I've seen some of what you've been through in the past few years." (He lived 2 doors down and our daughters are really good friends from the age 2).

over you. I was soooooo mad when I found my wishes had not been respected. I think he was scared of being sued, and because he violated the rules in the Church Handbook of Instruction.

Got my Greg Dodge letter in 1998. 25 years ago. He was a very nice fellow. I chatted with him twice. Had to threaten a lawyer to get the bishop to get things done.


HH =)

Reactivate then the exmormons will come to their senses. What!?!?!! Having to deal with people that will do something when told that we will sue.

What is wrong with these people?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/08/2023 12:42PM by lousyleper.

Took off the G's and bought real underwear in 1997 because I was gay and sick of trying to overcome it, so I embraced it. That was 26 years ago.

Found out TSCC was a steaming pile in 2006. 17 years ago.

Thought about resigning, but didn't want to hurt my parents; the thought I might "come to my senses" and "return to the fold" seemed to bring my elderly mother comfort. Now both my folks have passed, I thought of resigning, but ultimately decided to not give TSCC any more power over me. I am OUT. They want to keep me on their records, what do I care?

"Now begone! before someone drops a house on YOU!"