Thanks for all your help.

Summer: I'll you know how I'm doing on the general ed requirements for the degree!



Edited 4 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2023 12:35PM by lousyleper.

Best wishes to you, LL. I'm sure you'll enjoy your learning spree. SO much more interesting than same old in moism.

So I figured this place would be good for safety, in I've been out for twenty years. I've avoided this phase of my healing from Moism, and I share something very personal to me, anthem I say God,and everyone freaks out.

I don't get it. I have been lurking for years, and yet, all this anger and stuff like that has not changed. I get it, the church wronged you, all of you.

I lost a wife, and my 3 kids through the process of getting out, This whole process has been hard, and it's going to get worse tomorrow when I have to relive the whole thing over again? The phone calls, the funerals I was not allowed to attend, the shameless pursuit of money for my second son's headstone!?!?!?

Everyone is so friggin angry when anyone has an experience like I had? Why are they angry? I came here looking for support in prep for tomorrow's appointment, and I get anger thrown at me.

Tomorrow is going to be hard enough, but coming back here after lurking for years, and finding that your support network that you were hoping to have, isn't there... All there is, is anger.

I gave my soul to that place, and it took me 15 years, having bouts of anger too. My children taught that love, no matter how much you love, should be cherished.

I get out of that place, and start living a completely different life, *my* life.

I am sick of hearing about black and white. What about the different colors outside the narrow spectrum?

Did I miss something? I haven't seen any anger directed to you on this board. You are more than welcome to post here, but if you decide otherwise, we wish you the best.

For a good while. Like I told LW, I've been venting to just shut down, I started whining. I need to grow a backbone. This whining towards my family has to stop.

When I told people the experience I had, ome said I was still indoctrinated , and that I was still under the influence of the church, 15 years later.

I had a very soothing, very calm experience. I put it in the cog dis thread. I've ignored my chance for complete peace, or so long. I have forgotten what peace is.

>> When I pointed to an experience I had with my son.b. It went quiet

The people who post on this board (including myself) are distinct individuals with our own lives, own problems, and own concerns. Getting no response doesn't mean that people are angry or upset with you, or indifferent to you. It just means that they have nothing to say at that particular time. They may be considering a response for later. Or they may let someone else handle it. They may simply be listening. Or they may be working, eating dinner, watching TV, or reading a book.

I don't say this to be unkind, but the board members here are not at your beck and call. Even your therapist is not at your beck and call. You may not always get the response or type of response that you are looking for. When I start threads, they sometime take off in a way I never expected. Or a thread that I considered a good, solid topic falls to the ground with a thud. Such is life.

People here will do their best to give you a friendly ear, but it's a two way street. In any event, do as you think best, and good luck to you. Confronting life's sorrows and challenges is not the work of a day, week, or year.

LL, I don't think people are unhappy with your presence here. One person said some things but then apologized. Such misunderstandings inevitably happen.

You are welcome here, now or in the future.

I just am stressed about today. She wants to talk about me and my anger towards people in my family. To a great degree, I've been whining to my family.

Now, I'm going to tell my therapist about the experience that I mentioned in the cog dis thread, towards the end... My brain kept telling me I was not ready for RfM.

All the best LL. Hope it goes well.

My case manager is missing in action, and my therapist might be replaced, because she may be a Mormon. I don't want to shatter her testimony if she is.

>> ...my therapist might be replaced, because she may be a Mormon. I don't want to shatter her testimony if she is.

You don't need to worry about that. If your therapist is acting like a professional, it shouldn't be an issue.

Having said that, some Mormon therapists are okay, and some are not. It might take more than one try to find a therapist who is a good fit for you.

However this new one seems somewhat disinterested. She looks out the window, while I am talking, but she hears me. I want a psychologist that is able to tell me what's going on in my brain.

It'll be funny, because she knows I am taking a Psych. class.

Psych 101 just gives you the bare basics -- a grounding in the field. I had that under my belt, along with courses in child psych and educational psych when I began my teaching career. Even then it took me a number of months to recognize my first student with autism. I had to slowly piece the clues together. Nowadays I can see it more quickly. Schools have access to not only trained counselors, but also psychologists, and by referral, psychiatrists. I know just enough to make a referral when warranted.

Good luck today with your therapist appointment today. I hope you receive good guidance.

Your therapist might not think being on social media, or a place like this is good for you. Remember we are all just a bunch of random people who don't know you. It seems like we unintentionally might trigger you in one way or another. This place requires thick skin because people don't agree on many things. Most of us mean well but are not qualified to help you much. I know you are sensitive. Maybe your therapist will have suggestions about the best way to process things.

You are doing a good job focusing on classes. I hope that career planning and goals will help you become all you want to accomplish.

I realize that experience redefined me on a fundamental level.

I actually felt different, charged, and calm. I was having conflicting stuff going through my head. What came easy, like plot, character development was hard for me, even though it was easy when I did it before.

When things were over, I felt I touched the face of God subconciously, and that experience, I cry every time I think about it.

I feel like I whine because, I want it to come back.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2023 12:32PM by lousyleper.

Hopefully I will feel centered at least. Thanks to one member, I can't remember their name but thank you.

I am sorry for your loss about your second son. Sometimes I am worried about writing the wrong things so I rather not reply at all. Sometimes it feels to me that if I would write something wrong I would make the situation worse or I would make the person feel more sad. Not knowing a person everything can be misunderstood. Even though I have good intentions I am not qualified to give advice. I can write about my own journey leaving Mormonism if that helps you I am not sure? I personally had bad experiences with an lds marriage therapist and she talked my private business in ward council. She broke patient confidentiality. Again that is just my own experience and I would never say to you that if you have an lds therapist he or she would do the same to you. I wish you all the best and I believe it will get better for you as time heals things.

I realize that I made a mistake after posting my hostile diatribe. From what I can gather, These are the beginning traits of a sociopath.

Heaven forbid I become one. I feel like I have an excessive need for attention. That *must* stop. I think I will ask for tips as how to tone things down a bit today, before the big work. My kids are still my first priority, even though all have passed.

Maybe I'm holding onto their memory, so they are not forgotten. I heard through the grapevine that my ex married into some wealth. I saw the ring, and it was massive.

For some reason, I feel like she's forgotten them, because they were tied to me. Who knows? I think I need closure. With everything that happened, I think that is what I need.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/18/2023 12:31PM by lousyleper.

To not whine in my family or my life.