In the gleam of Joseph Smith's eyes,
He wove a web of charisma and guise,
With women enchanted by his gospel's charm,
He whispered words meant to disarm.

Sneaky and sly, he worked his way,
Convincing followers to heed and obey,
His words like honey, sweet and smooth,
Captivated hearts, minds on the move.

But beneath the surface, a darkness lay,
A man with secrets, led astray,
His promises of salvation and light,
Cloaked in shadows, hidden from sight.

Joseph Smith, a man of mystery,
His legacy marred by controversy,
Yet his influence still lingers on,
A cautionary tale, long since gone.

In the gleam of his eyes, a lesson learned,
Beware the one whose charisma burns,
For in the end, the truth will shine,
And the deceiver's mask will be unkind.

As a closeted poet myself, I would be interested to learn exactly what software you used, and what you fed into it.

Maybe I am too critical, but as poetry it isn't very good.

Thanks for sharing.

As one who wouldn’t be able to critique a poem if my life depended on it, would you mind sharing why you give this poem a thumbs down?

Beth Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> As one who wouldn’t be able to critique a poem
> if my life depended on it, would you mind sharing
> why you give this poem a thumbs down?

It does not attempt to be a "free form" poem, but rather seems to fall into more traditional poetic forms. (That is not in itself a criticism, but rather to establish the basis for criticizing it: an attempt to be a tradition poem, with rhyme and metrical rhythm.) On those counts, it is very sloppy - poor rhymes, lots of extra syllables. It could have been better, e.g.,

In the gleam of Joseph Smith's eyes,
He wove a web of charisma and guise,
With women enchanted by his gospel's charm,
He whispered words meant to disarm.

Better:
In the gleam of young Joseph Smith's eyes
Was a web of charisma and guise.
With his gospel he meant to cause harm
To women entranced by his charm.
(Better metrics - four lines with anapestic trimeters, rhyming abab)

Sneaky and sly, he worked his way,
Convincing followers to heed and obey,
His words like honey, sweet and smooth,
Captivated hearts, minds on the move.

Much better:
He was sneaky and sly, all the way
And demanded that people obey
As he spoke like a prophet, from God,
On the souls of his people he trod.
(Good rhymes, with same metrics as previous stanza)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/03/2024 08:54PM by RPackham.

I agree with Mr. Packham on this. Indeed, when I think about it, I agree with Mr. Packham on many topics :-)

His website's great, too!

Thanks, Richard :)

No. The poem is no prize winner.
I'm surprised it even makes sense.

Here's the free website I used.

https://poemgenerator.io

I fed "Joseph Smith" "sneaky" "Polygamy" "Charisma" "gospel"



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 03/02/2024 09:06PM by Twinker.

Here is one using Microsoft co-pilot. Prompt "write me poem about Joseph Smith, the founder of the Mormon church, from the point of view of someone that sees the Mormon church as a cult and Joseph Smith as a charlatan and fraud."

Joseph Smith, the prophet of lies
Claimed to have seen God in the skies
He said he found some golden plates
But no one else could verify his claims

He made up a book of fantasy
And called it the Book of Mormon
He said it was the word of God
But it was full of contradictions and errors

He started a church of his own
And gathered followers who were blind
He taught them doctrines of polygamy
And took many wives, young and old

He faced persecution and violence
From those who saw through his deceit
He fled from state to state
But he could not escape his fate

He died in a gunfight at Carthage jail
Shot by an angry mob
He left behind a legacy of fraud
And a cult that still persists today

I've been working quite a bit with AI and now have discovered yet another use for it ....

Huh!!  I'm starting to consider giving complete control to AIs over humanity!

If it turned out that they decided to eliminate us, it'd be because it was for our own good.

Remember what they said in Vietnam, "We had to destroy the village to save it?..."

I decided to have more fun with AI using MS Go-Pilot and ChatGPT. This is both for 'grins' and to improve my understanding of what these products are capable of in an academic context. I use these products in my workflow as an 'assistant,' I also require my university students to incorporate generative AI as an 'assistant' in completing assignments. (by the way, I am neither a poet nor a teacher in the liberal arts. Instead, I am a 'pirate' (i.e., I am business school professor).

Criticisms and suggestions are welcomed and encouraged.

I asked Co-pilot to incorporate the elements that RPackam suggested in his assessment of OP's original post to improve the original version I posted. Then, I did a completely new version of the poem with ChatGPT, asking it to use the criteria expected of an experienced poet (I started by asking ChatGPT to list the criteria an experienced poet might consider when writing a poem).

Co-Pilot results when asking it to improve on the original.

He claimed he saw God in the sky
And found some plates of gold
He wrote a book of fantasy
And called it scripture old

He gathered followers who were blind
And taught them doctrines strange
He took more wives than he could count
And made them all his slaves

He faced the wrath of those who knew
He was a fraud and cheat
He ran away from state to state
But could not flee his fate

He died in jail by bullets fired
By an angry, vengeful mob
He left a trail of lies and crimes
And a cult that still lives on
```.

ChatGPT results

The new version uses ChatGPT 4 with my original prompt and asks it to write a poem using the criteria a professional poet would incorporate, like something a graduate student might turn in for a grade. I also added that it should be more critical than its first try and consider the objective historical data more." (ChatGPT always tries to be too nice and assumes that both sides of an issue have similar values to a fault).

In the shadow of a promised land,
A charlatan with a cunning plan,
Spun tales of gold, a divine hand,
A fraud dressed in prophet's sand.

With words as sharp as a double-edged blade,
He carved a path where trust was laid,
But beneath the veneer, a masquerade,
A foundation of deceit, meticulously made.

He claimed visions of celestial might,
Yet in his tale, no truth in sight,
A mirage, gleaming falsely bright,
Leading the faithful into perpetual night.

The plates of gold, nowhere to be found,
His revelations, on shaky ground,
A kingdom built, but what profound?
When the cornerstone is but a sound.

A legacy of fervor, zealotry's birth,
A cult founded, not on earth,
But on the whims of one man's worth,
Questioning the very girth.

In his wake, a trail of doubt,
A history some choose to flout,
Yet evidence casts a shadowy clout,
On the empire built by the devout.

This saga of faith, a cautionary tale,
Where truth and fiction intertwine, derail,
A reminder to question, to unveil,
Lest in blind faith, we blindly sail.

Edit: Accidently pasted the Co-Pilot version again instead of the ChatGPT version. Fixed that.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/04/2024 01:27PM by Mannaz.

In the shadows of billion-dollar coffers,
Russell M Nelson stands tall,
A prophet revered, a leader of the flock,
But whispers of embezzlement linger.

Money flows like a river in the desert,
Filling pockets and coffers of the chosen few,
While the faithful give their all,
In the name of a higher power.

Mormons gather, their faith unwavering,
As questions dance in the corners of their minds,
Wendy Watson watches, her gaze piercing,
An enigma in a world of wealth and power.

In the silence of the night,
The truth remains hidden,
Veiled behind walls of gold,
In the kingdom of Russell M Nelson.

It's impressive that AI has advanced to the point of composing doggerel.