A couple of weeks ago the sister missionaries stopped by unexpectedly to say hello. I didn't have time to visit so I dismissed them. I don't go to church at all since 13 years ago and never will (faith crisis journey). I just moved in this newer neighborhood and someone sent my records to this ward and now I got mishies coming over every 3 to 6 months.

So I came home a couple of days ago from a business trip and taped to my storm glass front door were cut outs of hearts. They had phrases written on them like "god loves you" or "we appreciate your friendship" etc... One of the hearts contained the names of the sisters who did the drive by. I want to call them to clean my damn door off. For real man! Are people really still that retarded in our world today? It gave me a creepy vibe that someone is stalking my home trying to leave me cheezy love notes on my door. For crying out loud, it is not even Valentine's Day! Grow up damn it!

I should go find their place and do the same. I'll write on the hearts, "Have you read the CES Letter?" "CES.org" or "Mormon Stories Podcasts" or "Radio Free Mormon and Bill Real have a very special message for you".

But they are trying to save you. It's like picking flowers for Jesus. Never mind that after you pick them, flowers DIE.

I love your idea of leaving exmo stuff on their door. Let them be the ones creeped out by stalkers.

Or not. It will feed their persecution complex. "They hate us, the church must be true!".

Ugh. Are you in a position where you can resign?

Not surprisingly, visits from TSCC completely stopped as soon as I resigned.

File a police report for damage to door. Explain you want a record so you can sue the stalkers. Word should get back. Or call mission home and demand they clean the door using you aproved cleaners and they may not speak a single word to you. Then tell them if they return it is trespassing. They do not understand kind words.

Better suggestion: take the hearts off the door (3 seconds) and go on about your life. Stop renting so much space in your head to the LDS Church.

Police just love making calls that are the adult equivalent of a four year old saying “make her stop looking at me.”

Yup.

Ugh. That happened to me many years ago, before I resigned from the Church. I felt creeped out too. I don't react well when I feel like I'm being stalked.

Write up and send an invoice to church HQ for your clean up time, products necessary for tape residue removal and your time to deal with them. I did after a missionary rode his bike across my parkway strip after I told them to leave. I sent them an invoice for a $9.95 sprinkler head, my time and labor to replace it, as well as my mileage and time to 2 different Home Depots, my clerical time to invoice them and the postage. They sent me a check for $150.00 and that stopped visits. For 4 years. Until some misguided person sent them to my house about 3 weeks ago. The church understands financial penalties. Good luck.

Do as Brother of Jerry wrote.

Ignore them. In time they will go away. Missonaries go after the low hanging fruit, so they test the waters. If ignored, they move on.

How can they appreciate your friendship if they’re not your friend?

My TBM MIL sends cards to us with all sorts of compliments when sh has no idea if anything she’s saying is true.

Imaginary friends are low maintenance.