So missionaries moved into the apartments by my community park (in Texas) a couple of weeks ago and they are now badgering everyone out to enjoy the walking trail in the evening - including me and my nevermo wife and two kids.

In the first encounter I let them know that I was a former mormon missionary and that they were not being given all the facts. I gave them the rocks and head-in-hat translation story - what I consider the most bizarre. Then I told them that it was much nicer to live without having to judge people.

Anyhow, I hoped they were just passing through and I'd never see them again and that hopefully I'd planted some seeds of curiosity for post-mission research when they would be secretly looking at porn.

But they were back again yesterday. The same thruple. Two of the mishies sitting bored at a bench while the other enthusiastically ran around the park pushing his bom in the faces of strangers - Arnold style.

They didn't remember me. So I was more of an asshole this time and basically mocked their temple ceremony - not sacred, not secret, just silly... and all of the temple stuff is posted to youtube anyhow. I also told them that I got to go to a foreign country and learn a new language on a mission and that they got sent to... Texas. At least mine wasn't a total waste!

So here I am ruminating. I've been exmo for 20+ years. I've been to therapy and worked through a lot of the mormon upbringing ptsd.

But seeing these mishies on the regular in my peaceful park in a part of Texas that I thought was as far from mormonism as I thought I could get... it is just triggering.

I am thinking of pampleting the neighborhood with some solid exmo materials for people to ask the mishies. (recommendations?)

Is it possible to ignore them?

I get it that you are triggered by their presence. I'm also a former RM and sometimes the missionaries park their Nissan pick up right on the street in front of my house.

However, I feel that your quest to prepare truth pamphlets for your unsuspecting neighbors may backfire. Such an effort may make you appear to be more looney than the in your face elders. Just my opinion.

Thanks for the feedback! I probably should. Just have to get used to seeing them all the time. I haven't seen them at all in my neighborhood area for the 10 years that I've lived here.

I know what you mean though. It's like having to deal with mosquitoes when you are used to not having them around bothering people.

I appreciate you not wanting them to prey on new vulnerable victims. I also know what it like to feel a little triggered when you see them hitting on people. The trick is to protect yourself and your anger first (which I'm not always great at doing myself). Rest assured that most people in your community probably think they are weird too.

This.

Just good to get feedback from somebody feeling what I am dealing with. My wife doesn't get it.

So thank you for helping work through it anonymous exmo exmish friend :)

My response is, "Been there/Done that. Bu-Bye now", all said flight attendant style. Then dust your shoes.

You may as well have fun with it. You're getting triggered and they are not as they just discount everything you say.

I'm curious as to how the never-mo's are reacting when they get approached. Do they just tell them to buzz off? This all reminds me of the Hare Krishna in the airports in the seventies. Us missionaries thought *they* were so annoying. Haha.

I do get why it bothers you so much. Not fun.

Thanks for the feedback! Just have to get used to seeing them all the time. I haven't seen them at all in my neighborhood area for the 10 years that I've lived here.

They have no power over you. Nor the religion that sends them out.

Ignore them. Wasting time and effort on them, is giving away power.

Thanks for the feedback!

I'm sorry that they are ruining your peaceful park experience. I would be annoyed, too. Hopefully they will move on at some point.

fingers crossed.

Go online, printout a few articles about LDS Inc. forcing a temple in the neighborhood in Fairview TX, near Dallas. Pissing off neighbors and local politicians. Then tell them that Texas takes a dim view of mormons and they should probably keep a low profile and not tell Texans who they are.

Luckily for me, the great majority of encounters I’ve had with missionaries in my exmo life have been pleasant. I tell them that I was a devout Mormon for the first 50 years of my life. If they ask, I tell them why I left. I don’t try to convince them, but I hope they see that I’m not a bitter apostate who was offended.

As far as your plan to distribute pamphlets-you do what you think is right. As for me, I have already been a missionary (for the church), I have no desire to be a missionary against the church.

You can leave the cult, but the cult won't leave you alone.


HH =)

This too will pass. When you actually see them pestering people in the park, it is hard to take the long view. They are pests, right now! I would bet they will have moved in 6 months to a year. I'd be astonished if they were still there 5 years from now. And even if they are still living near the park, they will have worn out their welcome soon enough.

I live just a few blocks from Temple Square, and pretty regularly walk through there. The mishies for the most part just ignore me. I don't have a tourist look - I'm usually alone, and walking like I am going somewhere (which I am) rather than gawking. I have on rare occasions stopped to talk to a mishie that is from a place I am interested in - Brazil (where I served my mission), and I saw one from India. I wonder what it must be like to be a convert in India, and then get sent to spend 18 months on one square block of downtown SLC. That's gotta be weird.

I also see the mishies in small herds at the City Creek Mall food court. They look so young.... Even the senior missionaries are starting to look young. I'm getting old! BTW, the senior missionaries run in smaller herds - 2, 4 or sometimes 6. Young mishies, herds of 6 or 8 are common, usually all female, but not always.

But I digress. People in the park and missionaries in the park will eventually tire of each other. Patience.

On my mission one companion and I would go to the park to play catch, we bought our own gloves and ball.

Long winters and total boredom made it a nice moment. While there we never intruded on those like us who were just taking a break from the daily grind.

It might be fun to have a pop quiz about Smith's wives. How many? How old were they? Which ones were already married? What kind of a guy does that?

Don’t waste your time with missionaries. They come and they go. They are just kids who were pressured to go on missions and they are just trying to keep their mission president happy. In a few months what’s going on will end. Statistically many of them will bolt from the church when they get home because their family and friends bolted.

This just happened to us, although my wife is still TBM the missionaries sometimes stand and wait on the lakeside trail along Lake Sacajawea in Longview, WA. like giant lampreys. Scheming, they move in and try to peddle their worn out wares as you walk by -- plus, of course, as good lampreys do, try to suck out your vital organs. (Am I kidding? Dunno.) I didn't even give them a glance, but DW gave them a cheerful, "Hi, elders!" Emergency avoided.

Haven't posted here in quite a while, but I will for this. And I'm an RM...AP no less:) (inside joke).

I agree with Rubicons post. Don't waste you time with them, they come and go, and they are doing whats expected of them by the church, their family, peers, etc. And that is not always easy for them.

If they approach you and try to engage, be polite and tell them you used to be a member, don't believe, etc., what ever your status is. If you need to tell them to not engage anymore, go for it. If they want to chat about your reasons, go for it, but keep it nice.

Then, this is what I do but its very optional based on your circumstances....I pull out $20 and give it to them, tell them to get a bite to eat or a few groceries. Then let them know that just becasue I no longer affiliate with the church and don't believe a lick of it, I am understanding, kind and compassionate. The church isn't required for that. One time there were 3 of them in a burger joint so before they left I went to the register and got 3 gift certificates and gave them to them. Another time I was getting a snack at a 7-11 and I saw one of them stuggling to find the money to pay, so I stepped in and payed for their stuff. Other times its just $20 cash.

Whenever I have done this, the look on their faces is one of disbelief, shock, and thanks all rolled into one. It makes me feel good too. Much better than confronting them, trying to point out doctrinal or historical flaws, etc. I think its better to feel a bit sorry for them and do something nice for them. That will make a bigger and better impact than anything else in my opinion.

And if they are engaging others in the park, that's up to the people they are engaging to say something, good, bad, or ugly. Don't make it your problem, becasue it isn't.

Best of luck!

> I pull out $20 and
> give it to them, tell them to get a bite to eat or
> a few groceries. Then let them know that just
> becasue I no longer affiliate with the church and
> don't believe a lick of it, I am understanding,
> kind and compassionate. . .

> Whenever I have done this, the look on their faces
> is one of disbelief, shock, and thanks all rolled
> into one. It makes me feel good too. Much better
> than confronting them, trying to point out
> doctrinal or historical flaws, etc. I think its
> better to feel a bit sorry for them and do
> something nice for them. That will make a bigger
> and better impact than anything else in my
> opinion.

And that wisdom is why you will always be an AP in my church!

As long as there is no tithing and you pass honey smoked SPAM with cream cheese on wheat thins and cold beer for sacrament, I'll attend!

Nice to meet up with you again :)

That's good advice!

However, you probably actually contributed $2.00 to the church because the little goobers probably paid tithing on the 20 bill.

I like the idea of paying for something and then giving it to them.

Nice to "see" you.

And nice to "see" you too :)

I haven't interacted with any mishies for quite a while, but I have $20 tucked away in my wallet all ready for them.

Can you even buy lunch for two with $20 these days?