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Posted by: zliska ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 05:33PM

An issue I would like to discuss is the apparent widespread physical and sexual abuse of LDS children by their parents. This is embarrassing to me, as I was subjected to brutal physical abuse by my father, beginning in elementary school. I remember that one of my elementary school teachers sent me to the school nurse after she noticed that both my eyes were black and blue. I had been crying uncontrollably after being physically punished by my father. I explained to the nurse that everything was OK, and she allowed me to return to class. A very dutiful child, I would ride my bicycle two miles from school to my father’s factory, sweep it, clean the restrooms, then ride three miles home every day after school. During the winter, I rode home in the dark. When I was sixteen, my parents had me drive 30 miles, on a Friday after school, to a rental house that they owned in a nearby city, and paint the entire inside of the house with a paint roller and brush over the weekend. By Sunday afternoon, I was so covered with paint that I washed my hair in the bathroom sink using paint thinner. I can’t even remember exactly what triggered my mother to frequently call my father at work, and demand that he come home and discipline me. Maybe my crimes were sassing her or showing disrespect. I remember having to shower during gym with welts all over my buttocks after my father whipped me with an electrical cord. He was absolutely brutal, and I was terrified of him. He subsequently moved his business 150 miles from our home. My mother would frequently call him and have him come home to discipline me. By the time he reached home, he was beyond furious. I lived in the attic of our house. There was a pull-down stairway for access. My father owned a .405 Winchester lever-action big game rifle and 20 rounds of ammunition that were kept in the attic. I remember one time, as he was coming up the stairs to beat me, I loaded several rounds into the magazine, but didn’t have the heart to point the gun at him. As I grew older, I began to recognize the stunning hypocrisy of my parents’ behavior. Although they supposedly believed in a kind and loving God, my parents were anything but kind and loving to me. It is likely that this inconsistency between beliefs and behavior prompted me, beginning in my early teen years, to question the religious beliefs that were imposed on me from childhood. In my father’s defense, I must say that he never sexually abused me or my siblings. Other Mormon children have not been so lucky. Keith Brown, an LDS Church member and father of the Five Browns Piano Ensemble, is currently serving a sentence of 10 years to life in the Utah State Penitentiary for having sexually abused his two oldest daughters over a period of more than a dozen years. Keith Brown grew up in the LDS Church during an era when the mission of Joseph Smith, Jr. was of greater importance than the teachings and mission of Jesus Christ. Maybe the lives of Keith and his daughters would have turned out differently had they belonged to a more Christ-centered religion.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 05:49PM

I am so sorry for the physical abuse that you endured. I hope that you have found peace, and that you have left your abusers far behind.

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Posted by: zliska ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 08:26PM

I am at peace with my father. However, I am not at peace with the Mormon Church, and I doubt that I ever will be.

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Posted by: Nightingale ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 07:47PM

zliska Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> An issue I would like to discuss is the apparent
> widespread physical and sexual abuse of LDS
> children by their parents.

I wasn't aware of this until I started reading this board. It's appalling. And tragic. I'm so sorry that this was your experience also.


> In my father’s
> defense...

You are giving him a lot of grace that he never extended to you by finding anything at all to defend him about.


> ...I must say that he never sexually abused
> me or my siblings.

That is a very low bar - as I indicate above, it's amazing that you can find a single positive comment to make about your upbringing. I'm so sorry.

It's seriously doubtful whether anyone at church, or at least some of the leaders, wouldn't realize what was happening to you, you'd think, if you showed external evidence of physical injury such as bruising or worse. Since the elders/leaders want to get all up in your face about every detail of your life you'd think they'd want to know what was going on in your family. Too bad they couldn't figure it out (or fail to ignore it, if that's what they were doing) and step in to help you.

I hope you find some posts on this board that resonate with you and perhaps help you as you reflect on your own experiences.

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Posted by: zliska ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 08:23PM

I have forgiven my father. Some four years after the abuse ended, he, like his 11th great-grandfather, the Rev. John Rogers, was burned to death.

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Posted by: stillanon ( )
Date: January 22, 2025 08:39PM

All anyone reading your story can say, is "I'm sorry".
You're a strong person. When I was 17 I had a Marlin 1895 .405. Could kill a bear (not that I did). After your story of abuse, I'm pretty certain that I wouldn't have had the same restraint with that rifle as you did. Every day is a better day for you.

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