Words cannot adequately express my disgust for the Mormon Church. Last week my son left for a mission over my strong objections, saying it was "what he was meant to do." This week my father died suddenly after a brief illness. When I called the MTC to let my son know his Grandfather had died, they said they would "pass a message to the District President" and it would be "up to the District President" whether my son was allowed to call home. When my son called home, the total lack of emotion in his voice was stunning. All he could do was cheerfully bear his testimony and tell me what a deep experience he had just had in the Temple when he was prompted that Dad had passed away. He was almost joyful. It was sick. Then today, two days after Dad's death, my TBM wife is on my case to be sure and attend the Church campout this weekend, because "it's important to the boys." She is so busy with Church activities that she barely made a mention of my Dad's death except to encourage me to send some flowers.

My dear mother has experienced a wonderful outpouring of love, support, encouragement and kindness from her Presbyterian Congregation. I have received zip from the Mormons. You tell me which people are Christ-centered.

And I can't believe all the stupid things that came out of my mouth as a missionary and out of the missionaries' mouths now.

mother is experiencing and hope that you too find that same love and support here ((hugs))

how Matt Stone and Trey Parker got it so right. The song from BOM Musical, "Turn It Off," is so right on target. That's what they teach Mormons to do, just turn it off like a light switch, just go Click, it's their nifty little Mormon trick. SOOO Communist.

communism (ˈkɒmjʊˌnɪzəm)

— n
1. advocacy of a classless society in which private ownership has been abolished and the means of production and subsistence belong to the community

I'm not understanding how that behavior is communist.

That's not Communism. That's delusion.

But yes. I think Stone and Parker faced a real dilemma with the musical - because it's hard to satirize something that is so patently absurd to begin with. In the end, the show winds up presenting TSCC _as it actually is_, and most people are going to think that the show exaggerates, when it really doesn't.

I can't believe your wife's attitude - I'm so sorry about your father. I hope you have people around you that support you. The problem (well, one of them) with Mormonism, is that it replaces the church with all other human relationships and family ties. They expect to come first and members learn to numb their feelings about anything and anyone but the church. If the most important commandment is "Love One Another" and you belong to a church that teaches loyalty to the church above loving others, you've got a problem.

I noticed this too when both of my nevermo parents died. I cannot tell you how many times I spoke of my mother, to be ignored completely (blantantly obvious--they heard, but completely disregarded as if they did not hear) by my inlaws. no heart really at all.

Hugs to you as you frame his passing.

Well, when it's the NEXT life that really matters what do you expect?

This one, this life, is just a 'suck it up / endure to the end' and pray, pay, obey and thoughtcrime yourself into subjugation and who gives a shit about anyone that get's in that path of that mental destruction.

"Oh, they died? Such a tragedy...but he wore garments and paid his tithing..we'll see him again..meh."

"Oh, they died? They weren't members!? Oh noes! God is merciful, someone will do his/her work on this side. For his/her sake I hope they accept it...."

I noticed that at all family gatherings there was emotion, but it was so canned and forced. "We are doing this...but since we aren't sure who will be with us on the other side because of all your porn we know you all are looking at, why get too attached?"

Sick system.

I think that sense of "life passing me by," of living my life as an already established set of routines that I just needed to run through--begetting a numbness about existence--is what put me in a place to start questioning the church.

My deepest sympathies for you on the loss of your father.

I remember when my father died. I was TBM at the time and asked permission to have a memorial service for my NeverMo father at our ward building. The bishop (a close friend) gave his consent and I conducted my father's service there. Although I was in ward leadership (ward clerk) and had many, many friends in the ward, not a single member of the ward attended, except the Relief Society President and her husband who were there by assignment to take care of the building and the ward pianist who played the music. None of my good Mormon friends were there for me (although a close friend from a former ward did attend).

I didn't think about it at the time, but looking back on it now nearly 20 years later it does kind of bug me a little.

LordBritish is right on the money, sad to say.

Hugs from me and my mom Doxi,
and DOUBLE piles of poot to all those
insensitive TBM @$$hats!

Family church...only if everyone is totally onboard with the cultic teachings.

I'm sorry you lost your dad.

Oh, and I must be a b*tch, because if I called the MTC to tell my son that his Gpa died and they gave me the runaround that you got, I would be raising hell.

Church activities function to erase all anxiety in the believer, especially that of passing away.

I would say, if you don't feel like going camping with a church group this weekend, don't. Take care of yourself instead!

I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad!

This was an extra click of the mouse, but I will add the weirdest detail from from own experience. My TBM sister and I were at the bedside of my elderly father when he slipped away. She cheered! Because he was on to his next step of progression. He had been endowed and sealed as an old man, so she knew he was going to right place.

It was a little surreal, alright.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 07/29/2011 04:19PM by Adult of god.

My condolences to you and your mom. That is very sad and I am very sorry for your loss.

I was worried about the type of funeral my mother (still technically LDS) would want to have because I couldn't stomach an LDS funeral at such a time of grief. Due to the recent death of a friend of hers, the topic arose. We talked and she said she did NOT want an LDS funeral. She said she simply wanted a grave side service with a Presbyterian minister and just family.

YAHOO! I'm so relieved I cannot speak. My mother is healthy and will likely live many more years but just the knowledge that when that time does come I won't have to deal with Mormons is such a relief.

The first few days, and then weeks, of intense grief are the pits. I'm sorry that you're not getting any support from the Mormon side of the family. Perhaps one day they will understand.

Don't go camping if you don't feel up to it. I personally feel that it's too much to expect of you. On the other hand, sometimes a distraction such as this is a good thing. Focus on what *you* need.

TSCC is particular cruel during significant family events such as death, marriage, etc. I am so sorry for your loss. I was very sad and missing my dad many days after he died. You'll find yourself remembering him through different triggers, i.e. an activity that you shared, a song, a smell, etc. It's okay to cry when that happens. It's part of the healing process. The MTC should have let him come home for his funeral AT THE VERY LEAST.

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Just the fact that missionaries are supposed to call home only 2 times a year!! And not on Father's Day. Is that because they hold the priesthood and don't need to hear from their child?

So,so many things about the Mormon church disgust me.

That's horrible. My condolences on the loss of your Dad.

My father died while I was on my mission and I was (technically) asked to stay and serve, even though I only had a few months left before I came home. I was so brainwashed, I did not attend my own fathers funeral. Damn cult. I also missed my daughters wedding because I was not worthy to go in the temple. A family oriented church--they are so full of sh$t. It is great now to hear my kids asking questions about Black bigotry, Celestial pologamy, and the DNA facts about south americans. I watch as essentially only the leadership caste of members I know are still active. And I believe it is a power trip that keeps them going. With the free flow of information the church has to be hurting.

It's 18 years later and I still miss my mom. I'm so sorry that you lost your dad. It is hard when the people who love us most emotionally abandon us when we need them most. Their reactions are not natural, neither their faith noble. We should mourn with those who mourn.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2011 10:20AM by suckafoo.

Wow, you can really tell which Mormons have swallowed the Kool-aid 100%. They actually see death as something joyous and nothing to fret over, so hey, just carry on as usual.

I'm so sorry for your loss and the crappy attitudes around you. Concentrate on being there for your Mom, and forget the idiots. They are totally, completely brain-washed. I feel sorry for them.

Maybe you do need to let your wife know how you feel though.

"No, I can't camp. I am not okay. I just lost my father. Do you understand that? If you can't support me when I need it, then just shut-up and let me grieve in my own way."

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also sorry that TSCC has used your loss to once again show itself to be a sociopathic institution focused only on its own goals instead of on the needs of its followers. My deepest condolences on both counts.

When my Mum passed away I had to travel quite a distance,in a matter of days I had to organize the funeral and pack up the house and deal with finances,plus all the other stuff that just seems to need to be done at that time,my youngest who was 9 at the time,2 older children married,did'nt want to travel for the funeral etc,no one from church offered to take her,my dearest friend nevermo took her for 5 days,I had no transport and the same friend loaned me the family car (only one they had)her hubby cycled to work while we were away.

When I returned I had no messages of sympathy at all,the only message was from the RS Pres asking me to deliver flowers and food staples to someone who had been abroad for a few weeks to welcome them home,I had a key for their house,my hubby was furious (nevermo) but I did it,was so upset at the lack of compassion,anyway it got me thinking my way out.

but this is a lesson we all need to learn about the POS LDS Inc cult, and NEVER forget.

if you are a regular member, then you made the mistake of thinking you were entitled to have some needs. You are not entitled to anything but staying on the tread mill to glorify the LDS corporation!

LDS INC has tons of official designate sympathy/charity cases,
Church leaders & pioneers, that an endless amount of whining & boobing can be done over.

Your matter is NOTHING compared to the trials & travails that the officially hallowed LDS have endured. No need to thank LDS inc for reminding you of what Piece of Garbage cry baby you really are. Just write out another offering check for the glory of God.


If you were part of the MORmON elite then there are all kinds of concessions that might be made for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IybKqL62mWY

as a regular member this is what you have waiting for you,
so stop whining and accept your place in the MORmON kingDUMB!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsakhmRzow8

see my comment.

When MR was civily married in MI (so her parents could be there) . .. next day they got on a plane to SLC...got sealed.
(normally, U.S. & Canada ppl REQUIRED TO WAIT A YEAR!)

D&C says: God is NO RESPECTER OF PERSONS; I guess that DOESN'T APPLY TO GOD'S TRUE CHURCH

stupid cult

I don't know if it's a social norm that somehow developed or just the general lack of ability to discuss things in an open and honest manner that teaches people to suppress their emotions and thoughts unless it is in cliches and morg-speak.

I also wonder if by making home teaching, visiting teaching, attending ward activities, and in fact all church related functions a "duty" that this makes it very difficult for people to be actually do anything church related with a sense of genuine love.

My mom missed one of my brother's wedding since the bishop deemed that she didn't pay enough tithing. So she sat in the foyer/side room of the temple with me (too young at the time) and all of the other people who weren't allowed in.

Backstory: She was the only one who held steady employment to keep food on our table and clothes for us kids. My Dad did work, but he had his 'I'm Mr. Independant streak' and am going to be selfemployed / live on unemployment when I get laid off of seasonal jobs' whereas my mom did all she could to sacrifice for our education and to ensure we had all of our school supplies. She had to work full time to ensure we had a modicum of normalcy and still does even though we are all grown and out of the home.

I love both of my parents, but at the end of the day my mom was the yeoman who bore the burdens of reality on her shoulders.

To keep this amazing wonderful and in my eyes perfect person out of her own son's wedding is the height of injustice and lack of compassion. She paid her money 'tithes' in 'secret' by keeping us alive and putting it to things that mattered: food, heat, electricity, car payments, and REAL LIFE. Her 'open' reward by the uncaring LDS system and culture and society was to punish her due to the bottom line during tithing settlement not matching. "Oh, you aren't being blessed enough due to working on Sunday's."

*spit*

The Mormon Church is cruel in its lack of feeling. I hope sometime your son will be able to hear how you feel. I was in my twenties and Mormon when my grandfather died. I was flip about it because, gee, what is death, right? Well, my grandfather and I were close but when I joined the church it put some discomfort between us. I've always regretted not allowing myself to feel the loss of him at the time. Perhaps your son will allow himself to feel at some point. Mormonism makes that harder. Again, I'm sorry you lost your father.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/30/2011 08:37PM by robertb.

truthseekerman-
My condolences for your loss. Please don't feel you are suffering alone, as this site is full of those who are/will empathize/sympathize. Was your son close to his grandfather? Maybe, once the mindwash rinses away and he is on his way back to being human, he will realize the absurdity of this episode. Hopefully he won't be panged by guilt.

On a brighter note- The Morg may seem uncaring and harsh in regards to your father now, but wait for the enthusiasm when it comes time for the post-mortem lavations. Then you will see the true concern. I mean haven't you heard? Families are forever, silly. So get your carcass to that camp-out and smile smile smile. You don't want to miss a chance to share the gospel, and all of the truth and compassion associated with His True church, do you? Initiate the tithe plus PLUS program in your household, and think pure thoughts. Tithe, and do your genealogy and tithe. Hell, who cares what you do as long as you tithe.

On a brighter note part second- At least your wife didn't suggest you take the money you would have spent on flowers and toss it in the ring for F&T.

I am sorry for your loss, and moreover, the needless petty bull$hit TSCC is adding to your loss. Please give your mother an extra hug from me.

Sorry for the pain and hurt you are going through. Not right. Not only did you loose your father,,sounds like you son has distanced himself from reality and your relationship. Good luck,,and god bless you.