That is so true, and I can illustrate that with a personal experience. I was on formal probation for a year and a half, trying to work my way back into good standing. I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing. Going to all my meetings, paying tithing, etc. One day, the bishop told me that my goal should be to get my temple recommend back. A couple of thoughts went through my head when he told me this: First, "WTF is this grown adult telling me, another grown adult, what my goals should be?" Second, "How the hell am I supposed to get my temple recommend back if I'm on formal probation?" It was at that moment that I realized not only did I not miss going to the temple, I hated going to the temple, I was paying for the priviledge to do so but couldn't, and that a temple recommend was merely a tangible display of a minion's allegience to the organization and its leaders. By telling me that I should aim to get a temple recommend, my bishop was trying to gauge my commitment to the church. That was more important to him than the fact that I had abandoned certain selfish behaviors. "Do you promise to be obedient? Then pay 10% and we'll be happy to remind you that you promised to give everything you have to the mormon church, even your own life if necessary. Just bow your head and take it in the rear."
The girl is currently trying to get her recommend back. She was bummed because someone at church asked her if she was temple worthy and she had to say no. I told her I respect her beliefs and all, but I never wanted to hear her say she wasn't "worthy" of anything ever again. Such a messed up word to use. Why can't you be temple certified? Oh right, less shame that way. Can't have that.
I hope your girlfriend figures out that the Church is not qualifed to judge her wothiness, they are really judging only her conformity and compliance to cult teachings, willingness to be used by the cult and to financially support and represent the cult.
Yeah, she is really dedicated to getting that recommend. You have to understand that she was a total Molly Mo her whole life. My other Mormon friend knew her family growing up and said that the girl was the Mormon no one wanted to hang out with because she had a stick up her butt about being a perfect Saint. So she never expected to fall away from the church or anything. She just wanted to have some fun after her divorce, and figured she'd keep on trying out new stuff until she was ready to repent.
I'd love for her to realize that no card with a barcode could ever determine if someone was worthy of anything, and that she could have all the faith in God she wanted without forking over all her money and free time to the church, but it's her decision and her life. I told her I was here for her and whatever repentance she was dealing with I would give her whatever support I could. Pretty sure that's all I can do.