Out of nowhere came an old memory of me driving home from the Joseph Smith Pageant held every year in Clarkston, Ut. I was stunned speechless- my little girls were jabbering in back. Two of them were wiping spit off their clothes with Wet Wipes.

After the pageant, I asked them to pass out flyers for our family business. The pious crowd decided they must be trying to give them anti-Mormon literature and SPIT on little girls aged 5 and 7, also shouted condemnations at them.

The thought entered my head "They could do this after a religious service? These are not godly people."

It was the beginning of the unraveling. What about you? Did you experience something or see something awful?

Anagrammy

....and I realized the current church was staring to appear nothing like the Church Joseph Smith founded. As I started to do my research to find out where the church began it's road to deviation from it's pure beginnings, I sadly came to realize that it had NO pure beginnings. The whole thing was a big fat lie and fraudulent organization. Learning about the Book of Abraham was the first really big non repairable crack in the foundation. It was all down hill from there on out. It was devastating at first and then it became very liberating because all things that never made sense all became crystal clear when I saw the whole picture.

I was free from a belief system that kept me in the throws of depression for so many years of my life all the while I tried to convince myself that "the gospel" was the only way to be truly happy. I soon learned what true happiness was all about and it did not involve the Mormon Church.

I first realized the church was a corporation during PEC meetings I was required to sit in on as a missionary. Everyone recieved cost/benefit sheets and the programs that needed to be sponsered for the continuation of income for the church.

Anyway, people spit on your children, I would have gone phyiscally crazy.

First was my trip to the temple. That seriously weirded me out.

But what got me to thinking was when the mishies were teaching a woman. I was invited to come along as a member of the Bishopric. While there, she cornered us with the verses in the Book of Mormon about the Lamanites changing color. We had no good answers, but I said I would find the answer for her.

I went home and got online looking for information and came across a BYU FAIR sponsored website that proposed to answer her question. I knew that what I was reading was not actually very true or even all that reasonable, but it was the kind of answer that we needed. Nevertheless, we gave her the info and the next week she said we were full of s--t and asked us to never come back.

Now, before that, Id seen lots of crazy websites pretending to have BoM evidence and lots of other silly stuff that members put out there, but what the Church was telling people via BYU/FAIRLDS was not true. And not only was it not true, but I had found it to be the most useful for the purpose of "helping" this trusting young mother toward a church that put out that kind of material for just such a purpose.

It actually made think quite a bit.

JoD3:360 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> First was my trip to the temple. That seriously
> weirded me out.
>

I "took out my endowments" in 1983, when I was at the MTC. It really weirded me out, too. I just stuffed my weirded out feelings, though. I didn't pretend to like the temple, but on the other hand, I didn't stay away from the temple. I went along on temple trips, kind of like a zombie, for about 10 1/2 years.

in the YW programs and started seeing the blatant sexist policies and practices of the church. I saw a movie in temple square where a woman blessed her oxen so it would stand and continue on. I started wondering why women never gave blessings now if they could back then. YW could only have 1 fundraiser per year to pay for all of their activities, including camp, where the YM could have 2 per month. Women can't go on missions until 21. The church I attended had ONE changing station in the entire building and it was located in the mother's nursing room! The room was sweltering hot, very small, and I just felt sorry for any mother who would have to nurse in there, especially when they'd have to endure someone going in to change a smelly diaper in a sweltering hot room, along with the expectation that only women change a diaper therefore the changing table should be in the mother's nursing room and they didn't have one in both bathrooms to give fathers access as well. How disgusting. I think the stake president's wife should have left her husband's nice meal on the back of an open toilet someone forgot to flush sometime so he'd understand how gross it really is.

Ok, that became quite a rant. Thanks for listening.

As early as I can remember. The people seemed nuts. Our primary teacher wouldn't allow questions, some man was abusing a mentally challenged kid in an empty room, there was a definite class structure based on how you dressed (I thought) and the black thing. At five it seemed rediculous to think that your skin color was more than genetics.

I read this in seminary in HS and thought it was indicative of someone who was making it up as he went along:

Jacob 2: 24-29
24 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord.
25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph.
26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old.
27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;
28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.

I asked my older brother how the sea shells had gotten there--high in the hills, many miles from the ocean. When the response came that "The Flood" had covered the entire earth with water, including the very spot where we were standing, I thought to myself, "But how did they get into the [vertical] SIDE of the hill," hesitant to voice any more questions.

After two more decades of indoctrination and suppressing all further questions and doubts, I burst FREE. Okay, so I work kinda' slow! : )

There was some LDS publication that claimed TSCC was the only church that contained the name Jesus Christ, in its title.

One day I was reading a book called the World Radio and Television Handbook which contained lists of virtually every radio and TV station in the world.

In this book was a list of religious broadcasters. One church that was listed was The Church of Jesus Christ, Apostolic.

That made me think: "What else are they lying about? I'd better keep my wits about me!"



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2010 10:13PM by matt.

and I remember totally buying into it at the time until I happened to hear of another church with christs name and thinking.. "Well that's weird, they should update their propoganda." Ok, that wasn't actually the wording I used in my head, but it was pretty close.

UGH. GOD. BORING.

The excruciating tedium of Mormon meetings should be a good clue right there. If God is truly that big of a bore, then do you really want to spend eternity with such a being?

They said "Yes," and I never wanted to go.

I think the first inkling that it might not be true came when I first tried to read the Book of Mormon. It just seemed too contrived.

There were lots of little moments as a child, but I'd have to say that my first time in the temple planted a true seed of doubt. It took me another ten years to leave.

"The boinking of Fanny Alger and the stone in the hat". Sounds like a twisted Harry Potter Novel!

Probably blacks and the priesthood. I remember reading an article about in Life or Look when I was still in elementary school. It just seemed wrong. I also remember being shocked that ETB came out in support of Nixon in 1960. I was 11 and my parents were big Kennedy supporters and I just assumed that the church would be on the side of right and truth. I was a kid and my mom thought Nixon was evil incarnate.She also was no fan of either Benson or Ernie Wilkenson.I didn't really know the issues but I couldn't believe God's true church could support that evil man. Now that I am a little more mature, I understand that good people can differ on politics but it still bothers me that the church gets involved in these issues.

I began to realize on my mission there was the gospel and then the church. The number driven mission showed me they wanted to count bodies and rewarded those who would baptize dozens of children and not their parents. Those who did became AP's and zone leaders, those who did not never advanced.

When getting home I thought somebody might offer me a job or some assistance finding one. No one really cared to help a return missionary and I thought that strange. I stared to realize how members often were very cult like in many aspects and that always stayed with me. I thought the temple stuff was super weird but I believed I might be able to figure it out over time. I got married and had kids. Going to church was strange because it was changing from a family type atomsphere to a coporate office feeling.

Reading the book of mormon while waiting for my kids in seminary I read in Jacob about polygamy and then cross checked it to Section 132 and I had a "NO SHIT" moment. I then did some checking and one thing lead to another I realized I had been duped. I started to study cults especially Scientology and it became very obvious the LDS church is a cult no different from many other cults.

With the event of Google I was able to Google myself out of the cult and into the light and the rest is history.

The weird stepford culture first. I just never fit it. Too outspoken and independent with lofty education and career goals. Definately not ideal for an LDS woman to want something other than being a mother in Zion and helpmeet to my PH holder.

Then my BP and SP couldn't (or wouldn't) answer ANY of my questions about doctrine and history (hello these are inspired leaders called of God!).

So I started down the path of study and research to find my own answers and well...

I was out shortly thereafter.

There were little things over the years that SHOULD have alerted me to some problems. But they just didn't get to me. Most notable were the blacks and the priesthood, the ridiculousness of the student body and administration at BYU, and some things I learn in my D & C class at BYU. I learned about multiple versions of the first vision (sounded like what liars do when they retell a story). And all the "THUS SAITH the LORD" revelations in the D & C, about who should do what for Joseph Smith kind of bugged me. I never dared formulate the thought, but I sensed that it was suspicious that he got a verbal revelation from God for every mission call, or anything he needed done. I think there was even one about who should shine his shoes (just kidding) How conVENient for JS.

Didn't bother me until at 10-13 years later (didn't think about it at all), when the fact that I had NEVER gotten an answer when I prayed about the B of M finally DID get to me. And I started asking questions.

I just can't believe I didn't ever have a real doubt until my mid-30s.

For me it was the PBS Documentary on Mormonism in April of 2007. I watched the show and heard them talking about polyandry. I had no idea what it was. I was shocked and disturbed as i listened and decided that I HAD to look into the subject as I could not defend it.
I researched it and then asked the same question that many of you have asked- "What other information is the lds church withholding from me because it is not "faith promoting""?
Within a month I was out and and felt freedom and peace that their religion had never given me.

People deserve to know true facts- hiding them is deceptive and dishonest.

I told them it was nice talking to them and good bye. ;)

It was when I read my first book critical of Mormonism. I learned all sorts of things I had never learned in church. I was uber-TBM but it started my first doubts about the church. Next it was the endowment ceremony and its uncanny resemblance to the Masonic ceremony. Then it was the MTC and its obviously manipulative tactics to "convert" people. I got so sick of hearing "get them to feel the spirit" crap. All I could think was I'm just trying to get them to feel emotional and then trying to tag that as proof of the Mormon message. So sick.

My first clue should have been my parents. Since they were involved, I should have known it was shit. They had done just about every other "true" thing: AL Williams, AMWAY, Phone Cards . . . Real suckers.
But, as a kid I remember being very embarrassed to talk about the church, because it didn't seem real or right, and I somehow knew that rational people wouldn't buy this crap. On my mission, it was the same story. I hated teaching about Joseph Smith, the BOM, asking for tithing (I could handle talking about Jesus, even though I'm hard core atheist now).
Then learning the truth from the Tanners and others was liberating. Luckily, I took it pretty lightly since my grandfather had pretty much prepared us kids with talk of evolution and how silly the bible was. Thank god for him.

When I first read Pauls words from 1 Cor 13 in the BOM. But I was 16, lonely and vulnerable. It took med 35 years to get out. But BOM was always a problem and an embaressment to me.

Let me preface by saying the whole thing was my fault. I should have balanced my checkbook.

I had paid my tithing by check. It took several weeks to clear and when it finally did, it caused 4 others to bounce thereby "blessing" me with well over a hundred dollars in charges!

That was the last time I paid tithing. I left TSCC about a year later. That was a decade ago and I've never been happier!

That's a really good question. For me, it was extremely recently. I was about to do the whole mission thing, when I started questioning the beliefs of the mormon church. The church never really did anything harmful or destructive to me, nor do I have any stories of the terrible things the church did to me. In fact, the church was actually really good for me. It gave me a sense of comfort and direction in my life.

The first things that mainly made me start questioning and acting on my concerns with the church were A) My boss and B) my girlfriend (at the time)

A) My boss is Muslim. He is also one of my really good friends and I would consider him my mentor. During the time of my process of doing my mission papers, I worked for him a lot. We talked of religion on a consistent basis. I gained a lot of insight on not only his religion, but organized religion in general. Religion interests me as it is. As we would have these deep conversations on religion and spirituality, he brought up a lot of points that really made me second guess WHY the mormon church claimed to be the "only true church", when my Muslim friend believed something that is very different.

B) My girlfriend (at the time) is atheist. Her and her family used to be TBM. I had never really met an atheist, nor had I ever really conversed with one. Until her. She is very smart, and I valued her opinions quite a bit. I began to notice that there are a lot of happy people outside of the church, and it made me question if the church was what it really claimed to be.

Never had these two individuals pushed any kind of agenda on me to influence me out of the church, they just provided me a sense of looking at the world and how people are and what they believe outside of the mormon church. I credit those two individuals in my beginnings of questioning the mormon church. The rest was work done by myself.

For me it was seeing an image on the internet of Joseph Smith with his face in his hat - once it dawned on me that actually the Church was being disingenuous about the method of translation it became easier to 'see' the other frauds. It was like staring at one of those pages of dots and suddenly, when your eyes adjust enough you see a clear image.

The City Creek Mall sealed the deal.

The thing that first cracked my belief was a copy of 'No man knows my History'..... this was pre-internet days
nevertheless, I stayed true to the faith for a lot longer.

The thing which really started me on my way out, was watching a film showing the "martyrdom" of Joe Smith Jnr. in Sunday School. You may have seen the film yourself. It shows a pious group of people going to their death with courage and without trying to defend themselves. afterwards, during questions, I pointed out that Joseph Smith had a gun and shot 3 people. I was chewed out in class for voicing that "awful lie".

that was quite a few years ago.... Since then, I have told that story to TBM's and been called a liar, since "every mormon knows that Joseph Smith had a gun and tried to defend his friends"

The idea god had laws he needed to follow, or else the almighty god ceased being just that. Or that the church advises against reading any info contrary to their opinion. Or probably scariest for me, I did feel happier when I ignored the blatant problems of Mormonism rather then Thinking about them.

When I first read the book "A Gathering of Saints" about the Mark Hoffman affair. It was the first I knew about the whole story, living in the UK it wasn't such a big news story & the church certainly wouldn't broadcast it!
Took me another 20 years though to wake up & smell the coffee & get out!

I was BIC and got the standard Mormon upbringing – Sunday School, Primary, and then Priesthood meeting starting at age 12. Up through age 11 I was sent to the church classes and, as I think back, I tended to be rowdy and somewhat disruptive. But starting at age 12 I actually paid some attention to the lessons and started thinking about them.

Of course I knew the story about Joseph Smith and the so called first vision. The young Mr. Smith did not know which church to join so he asked God in humble prayer. And then, so the story goes, God and Jesus Christ appeared to Smith and gave him an answer.

The part of LDS doctrine that was the beginning of the end for me was the Holy Ghost. I was taught that if I needed an answer from God then I should pray sincerely and the Holy Ghost would provide me with the answer by giving me a warm feeling in my bosom (wherever the hell that is).

My logical mind started wondering what is wrong with this picture. When Joseph Smith wants an answer he gets an in-person visit from god. But when I want an answer, god has become totally mute and I have to rely on a nonverbal message from the holy ghost. When I tried that approach it seemed like the holy ghost was missing in action. I got no answer at all when I prayed to god.

I decided that the whole scenario of god, the holy ghost, and answers to prayer was magical nonsense that was totally ridiculous. It didn’t happen overnight, but by the time I had reached age 14 I had become an atheist. I concluded that religion was a bunch of unverifiable magic and that I wanted no part of it.

There was no "one" reason I left, but I do remember the first time I questioned JS. It was at age 12, after hearing the story of how the "Word of Wisdom" came about. It was a long time ago, but this is how I remember it "....after a meeting with all the church leaders in the Smiths home, Emma was cleaning up all the mess from the leaders tobacco, and other bad habits, and asked JS, "can't you do something about this?" and JS went to the lord an prayed, and received the Word of Wisdom..." I remember thinking "It just seems like he was tired of her nagging,...how covienent the lord decided to reveal this now." My 12 year old brain filed that away, and I went on in a somewhat TBM status, until 18 or 19, when I left, but that was the first crack. I also had problems with the United Order, and the lost pages while in seminary.

Of course, other "prophets" have said nonsensical, confusing things over the decades, but I was hearing rumors about some things that ETB had said. For example, how he warned of the dangers of assertiveness training. Huh? Assertiveness training, dangerous?

And then somebody told m that the Prophet had instructed us not to concern ourselves with "self-esteem"; that as members of the Church, we did not need that concept.

Then BKP came out and said that we need not concern ourselves with the "so-called needs" of members.

Uuuuhhhhh. Koo koo!! Koo koo!!

It was looking like the so-called prophets were afraid of any concept that threatened their monopoly on "vital truth." Any useful, helpful idea coming out of the field of psychology, that became too popular, got swatted down.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/05/2010 12:17PM by metatron.

Why did my history teachers not mention anything about people existing in the Americas when the migration through the Bering Strait happened?

Why didn't horses exist until the Spanish came when they're mentioned in the BoM?

Why can only men hold the priesthood?

Why are women treated like crap in the church?

But the first thing that I finally realized the church was flat out WRONG on was homosexuality. I was VERY aware that homosexuality was not a choice after listening to my gay, lesbian, and bi-sexual friends talk about how difficult it was to be born that way. And it made absolutely no sense to me that they shouldn't be allowed to find someone they love and settle down like everyone else. I still, to this day, wish that had been enough to make me leave. I wish that the mistreatment and misinformation about an entire group of people was enough to have made me realize it was a fraud.

And I was horrified.

However, after about a year of observing him actually being happier, I realized that the church was completely WRONG and so was I about Homosexuality. If they were wrong about that, and clearly about race, what else were they wrong about?

Answer: pretty much everything.

Too many to list--but I would say really the very first inkling was when I started dating nonmembers and working with nonmembers--several of whom became my closest friends. They weren't what I had been taught they were. My PB told me that there would be those who tried to influence to do wrong and I always thought my nonmormon friends were those people, but it was actually the nonmormon who respected my beliefs and how I lived my life. It was the LDS church leaders who took advantage of my blind belief.

Then the gay issue came up about 5 years after I first dated a nonmember. I could never quite reconcile the idea that God had made someone gay and then gave them no hope of making it to the CK unless they CHANGED their orientation. I had been taught they were sick perverts--but I knew my boyfriend wasn't.

I just realized it was all the same--the nonmembers and my gay boyfriend/husband. I had been taught they were monsters and I KNEW at a very basic level that that was bullsh*t. They were some of the best people I'd ever met.

to the beginning when the elders were teaching our little family. The FIRST RED FLAG (that I ignored) was that Joseph Smith Jr was a prophet. Took me six months or more to "get with the program" and learn to go along to get along.
After that, I just accepted what was taught, after all, it's faith based religion. That's how it works.

Took many years (about 35 or so!) to figure out that Joseph Smith Jr was NOT a prophet, did NOT have any ancient records, did NOT translate anything and the BOM was fiction about imaginary people, places and things.

Then I decided I do not need a God Myth to govern my life -- none of them. I like some of the ideas from a lot of religious notions, but I am no longer interested in attaching myself to them as a whole.