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Posted by: jim1 ( )
Date: August 23, 2011 10:26PM

Here are a couple of awkward moments in the ward I grew up in-

The priest was blessing the sacrament at a missionary farewell. He looked up at the bishop to see the bishop shaking his head that he screwed up. The priest yelled in the microphone--Oh Shit!

A member got up to bear his testimony with a shot gun. He said no one move, I am going to take up the whole meeting and everyone is going to sit and listen or else!

A member of our ward was a little mentally unstable. Whenever anyone finished a talk or prayer, he would scream amen as loud as possible.

A member of the bishopric was giving a speech. He paused and then feinted and hit the floor. Lucky there was a doctor in the ward to help him.

A new member moved into the ward. In priesthood they asked him to introduce himself. He said his name and then said he was grateful to be in the ward because we were all white and there were no other races. Awkward.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/23/2011 10:29PM by jim1.

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Posted by: archytas ( )
Date: August 23, 2011 11:16PM

haha. i remember an f&t meeting in the ut where an out-of-state mormon basically lectured the audience for having an empty temple. someone had to cut her off.


pass the popcorn!

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Posted by: AtheistMarine ( )
Date: August 23, 2011 11:18PM

Hahaha! Good stories!
My grandpa was in a testimony meeting when a member got to the pulpit and whipped out a machete, saying "This is the knife that you've all stabbed me in the back with!"
He hasn't returned since...

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Posted by: flyfisher ( )
Date: August 23, 2011 11:40PM

My father who was the bishop was conducting priesthood. While asking if there was any visitors he pointed to me and asked if I was visiting! The next Sunday a lady in the ward gave him glasses so he could see his own family!

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Posted by: my2cents ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 12:04AM

One Sunday, family and I were sitting in the side pews as Sacrament meeting got underway. Opening song, announcements, sacrament song. Just as the sacrament song was ending, a lady walks in and the only place to sit was in the front pew. As she walked up the aisle, and everyone started to gasp. Her blouse, which buttoned in the back, was completely unbuttoned except for the top button.

As she sat down, a sister in back of her reached up and buttoned up her blouse. It was obvious that she was running late and rushed to get to the chapel before being locked out of the sacrament.

I don't know whether she had been to the temple or not, but there were no g's there, and I wasn't positive if she was endowed or not since the buttons were in the back.

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Posted by: luminouswatcher ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 01:19AM

One guy was asked to say the closing prayer on 1st Sunday of the month. He fell asleep right after the sacrament. With about 30 minutes shy of the meeting end, he started to snore a bit and his wife gave him an elbow jab in the ribs. He woke with a start and a snort and was there was no one at the rostrum and a few people looking at him. So he got up, walked to the front and closed the meeting with his prayer. The bishop stood up and said "I guess we are done" and everyone got up and went home with a few smirks. Best day since they called church to go fill sandbags during the 80's.

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Posted by: S. Tissue Trotter ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 01:53AM

Funny stuff. (Except for the shotgun and machete - aren't there laws against menacing?)

But please oh please, does anyone have archived the story of Kotex-head, the high council speaker?

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Posted by: Fetal Deity ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 01:58AM


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Posted by: moonbeam ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 02:23AM

GAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *tears*

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Posted by: nevermokhouria ( )
Date: August 24, 2011 02:41AM

there was the time when the kids came in from playing in the cemetery before church and handed my (lutheran pastor) husband a snake...

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