I attended a friend's mother's funeral today. It was at an LDS church, the family is pretty TBM, except my friend, who's always been kinda jackmo. We've talked about leaving the church before. She was just too afraid of what it would do to her family if she did. I get that. I'm grateful, in a way, that I'm not too close to my TBM family for that specific reason.
Anyway, the funeral was full of plan of salvation and atonement and forever families testimonies. Then my friend got up and bore her's on her love for joseph smith, and I groaned inside. I can understand needing to believe that you'll see your loved ones again, especially at a time like this. But JS? At a funeral? Why?
My mom was sitting a few chairs away from me and kept looking at me with her weepy patronizing eyes, trying to make me feel like a jerk for believing that this life is all there is. And I kind of did. Not to mention, it was my home ward. First time i'd been there since I decided to leave the church a couple months ago. I had numerous "I'm praying for you"s, and old ladies sobbing and clinging to me, begging me to let my little children know jesus. Totally felt like crap afterwards.
Death is a very sensitive subject and people just tend to grab hold of whatever coping mechanisms they can find I guess. It's just like a drug. I'm glad I know that now, but wish everyone else did too.

Same here. It runs SO counter to core LDS beliefs, doesn't it. Families are supposed to be the most valuable thing. Meh.

"Why, no, Bishop, I don't want to spend eternity with my parents and siblings. I'm not even much interested in spending a few hours with them. Not that they're bad people. We just don't have much in common."

How many times have I had TBMs slip up and betray what they really want for you? My wife actually had a good friend of hers write the following in a letter: "I hope it doesn't take a tragedy to get you back into the Church". God, what transparancy.

The last thing ANYONE in the church wants to see is a happy exmo so they'll do anything they can to make you feel bad or guilty. Haven't you ever noticed how quickly they get excited when you tell them in confindence about ANY problem you have? They LIKE it when things go bad for exmos because its like a testimony to them that when someone leaves the Church their life goes to hell.

So don't do it! Stay happy! Tell them how great life is and show them how great it is. Good luck!

They really do, don't they? And believe me, they're soakin it up now. Since our announcement, my husband has lost his job (he was employed by TSCC), and my daughter was severely burned. But not to worry, I've been informed various times that they are all praying for us.

As far as being invited, she was my best friend growing up, so I knew her mother very well. She took us to football games, was my accompaniment when I tried out for madrigals and the talent show, let me eat over all the time, etc. I wanted to go to pay my final respects to her and support my dear friend. I knew what was coming.

How many times have you had TBMs slip up and betray what they really want for you? My wife actually had a good friend of hers write the following in a letter: "I hope it doesn't take a tragedy to get you back into the Church". God, what transparancy.

The last thing ANYONE in the church wants to see is a happy exmo so they'll do anything they can to make you feel bad or guilty. Haven't you ever noticed how quickly they get excited when you tell them in confindence about ANY problem you have? They LIKE it when things go bad for exmos because its like a testimony to them that when someone leaves the Church their life goes to hell.

So don't do it! Stay happy! Tell them how great life is and show them how great it is. Good luck!

Mormon funerals are specifically designed to be missionary tools.

Obviously, you were invited in order to suck you back in.

There is always some behind-the-scenes maneuvering going on when Mormons invite you to anything.

Knowing this, you may want to be very selective about which events, if any, you attend in the future.

I'm wondering how calculated or opportunistic the calls to you to "let your little children know Jesus" were. I doubt that they were actually spontaneous. Mos will use any excuse to preach and proselytize - it's disgusting. My MIL used my father's death as a justification for preaching to me, and I have not trusted her since.

avoiding Mormon Funerals all together. Who cares what those creepy old hags think or say. If you explain to people that matter to you that you're going to remember the departed one in your own special way, they'll understand.

The CHI specifically states that funerals should be used as a teaching and testifying opportunity and not just for remembering the person that has died.
A) Control, control, control, policy, policy even at such a sad and personally emotional time.
B) It's not like TSCC to use every opportunity to further its own growth agenda!